Hi ladies,
TW - MMC, LC.
Congratulations to everyone who has a BFP 🙂 I’m very tentatively joining following a positive test last Friday, although it was quite a faint line. I tested again yesterday morning and it’s slightly darker, but not as dark as I’ve had in the past at this stage, so I’m not sure yet how far things might progress. Right now I would be 4w 4 days by my calculations.
I’m feeling pretty anxious because I had a traumatic MMC in Feb 2025 at 10 weeks, and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I ended up needing a blood transfusion and it took several months to recover and to find the courage to start trying again. No luck until I got a very faint positive in Nov last year, but the line disappeared the next day and I had a chemical pregnancy.
Since then I haven’t had any success TTC so I had some tests privately and it looked like there was still hope although at my age (43) the odds of conceiving naturally are lower. Eventually I was prescribed Letrozole to try so this was my second cycle and now I’ve conceived naturally. I just feel that I can’t get excited yet, I’m just too worried about something going wrong and it feels like forever until I’ll have more certainty whether things work out. Before my MMC I used to read the Due in September 2025 MN thread but could never bring myself to post on it as I just had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. This time I’m not feeling quite like that but still worried because I feel like I’m just waiting for something to go wrong.
Hopefully not though….I've been tracking BBT and it’s still elevated (20 DPO). I don’t have many symptoms but have had occasional mild queasiness and the main thing is needing to pee much more often! I have an early scan on 8th September because the hospital offers that with medicated assisted conception, but it feels so far away. I just have to think that this is a different pregnancy and if it’s meant to work out then it will. I do have a 4 year old DD and she’s wonderful so I know I’m already very lucky. That pregnancy was fine and was my first but I feel like this one is going to be full of worry. I also had PND after the birth and just hope this one works out so that I can move forward, try to enjoy the early days of having a baby, and not have all this uncertainty and worry hanging over me all the time about pregnancy.
I saw that there’s a WhatsApp group so will try to join. I was on the July 2022 thread but the WhatsApp group link never worked for me so that was unfortunate! It would be nice to talk to people going through this nervous wait at the same time! Sorry for the long post, but it helps to share and write things down like this. It has been therapeutic.
I’m going to test again tomorrow and see if the line is any darker. If it gets lighter I suppose I should be worried, but if not then hopefully things are moving in the right direction. I was so tempted to test last night but resisted, so I’ll see what the test is like tomorrow. I’ll post a photo here of my tests so far, I’m going to try a different brand aswell.
Thanks for reading and sorry if my MN lingo and abbreviations aren’t quite right! ☺️ I haven’t managed to read the whole thread yet but will as soon as I can.