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Original poster

16 weeks no heartbeat

143 replies

Pinkumberella · 08/12/2024 22:21

So today I went to what should have been an exciting gender reveal scan to find out blue/pink but instead ended in heart break.

i attended a private scan and after only having a scan 2 weeks ago to check for downs etc (which all came back low chance along with bloods) and everything was perfect, today the sonography struggled to locate the baby it was tucked down low, we couldn’t see much as all seemed blurry, he said baby was curled which didn’t look good, couldn’t locate a heart beat but kept saying I’m not sure if it’s a faint one - on the grey line they show - and then also said the head looked “lemon shaped” as a posed to round and would indicate a syndrome... Yet two weeks ago it was round and mo syndrome or abnormalities detected.

He advised to contact my midwife in the morning for an urgent referral and check of bloods and rescan. He said it looks as though the pregnancy has recently ended. I came away in tears. My 9 Year old LG was heartbroken and my 3 year old LB was bewildered.

i am 41 and this was a surprise baby but a very welcome surprise, i feel like i have just got my head round it now it’s being ripped AY.

has anyone has this happen and everything turned out okay and baby was just in a very awkward position?

I have had zero cramping or bleeding and also have a tilted womb. I had early scans due to previous early miscarriages and each scan up until today have been fine.

thanks for your time in reading and sorry for waffling my eyes and head hurt from crying ;(

OP posts:
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TheQuietestSpace · 09/12/2024 21:18

This is why children should not be taken into scans. I'm so sorry you were in that position OP and I hope that today was different news. We were told by a private clinic that my daughter was ectopic - TWICE, two different scanners on the same evening - she most definitely was not. That unneeded grief I felt that evening has never left me.

NiftyKoala · 09/12/2024 21:19

Sending hugs and hoping you get a miracle

ChessorBuckaroo · 09/12/2024 21:20

Fingers crossed OP. Wish you well dear.

Vallmo47 · 09/12/2024 21:22

Thinking of you Op - I know that’s not a lot right now but it’s the best I can do ♥️

berksandbeyond · 09/12/2024 21:26

Ohnonotmeagain · 09/12/2024 21:08

This is why I strongly disagree with non medical scans and private scans to look at the baby. Fully qualified sonographers in hospital facilities set up to deal with this kind of thing. It’s always a possibility a scan won’t go well and the support should be there immediately.

also disagree with having young children in scans, it’s a medical procedure.

i really hope you are ok o/p and it’s the lack of training/experience of the private scanner. I hope your children are ok too.

I agree.

And as someone who has received bad news at a scan, having someone else's kids giggling in the waiting room is a special kind of torture

YouveGotAFastCar · 09/12/2024 21:30

Ohnonotmeagain · 09/12/2024 21:08

This is why I strongly disagree with non medical scans and private scans to look at the baby. Fully qualified sonographers in hospital facilities set up to deal with this kind of thing. It’s always a possibility a scan won’t go well and the support should be there immediately.

also disagree with having young children in scans, it’s a medical procedure.

i really hope you are ok o/p and it’s the lack of training/experience of the private scanner. I hope your children are ok too.

Decent private scan clinics have arrangements with local hospitals. They have to comply with NICE guidelines. A friend of mine had a serious spinal abnormality that ended up being incompatible with life diagnosed at a private gender scan - the scan place were as good as they could possibly be. They handled referring her to hospital and even drove her there; and made sure the midwives on duty in the antenatal assessment unit were fully briefed. There’s not much else they could have done.

She didn’t take her older child but I believe they’d said she could, but the child would need to wait outside with the other parent until they’d done the initial checks, and then they’d invite them in.

Falalaalalalalaaaah · 09/12/2024 21:33

Hand hold OP.

InSpainTheRain · 09/12/2024 21:37

I don't want to raise your hopes too much OP, but I did have a similar scare. I was expecting twins, went for a scan and they couldn't locate a second heart beat. I had to drive to another hospital and have another scan. However, when I got there they couldn't do it, so it was left to the next day. As it turns out both babies were fine and there were two heart beats, they are healthy and now 24 years old. But I still remember how scary it was at the time. I have everything crossed for you!

blippitybloppitybloo · 09/12/2024 21:39

You are in my prayers OP...

GucciBear · 09/12/2024 21:48

Such sad news, My thoughts are with you.

Iwishiwasagiraffe · 09/12/2024 21:50

I hope it all turns out ok op. Were the children actually in the scan room with you? I didn’t think this was allowed

ClaudineMallory · 09/12/2024 21:51

What a dreadful shock. I'm sure that your children must be very upset, too. How distressing for them.
I hope that things work out as well as they can do. 🙏

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 09/12/2024 21:52

💐

carly2803 · 09/12/2024 21:52

Pinkumberella · 09/12/2024 09:47

Thanks everyone for your support I am going in at 1pm today to the Assessment Unit and praying for a miracle… x

all the best OP. I really hope it turns out ok for you

Laura36TTC · 09/12/2024 21:54

I’m so sorry 😢

sending love xxx

Pollypoppy · 09/12/2024 21:55

Iwishiwasagiraffe · 09/12/2024 21:50

I hope it all turns out ok op. Were the children actually in the scan room with you? I didn’t think this was allowed

It was a private scan so you can have anyone you like in there with you.

Best Wishes OP 🌺

Campbellcarrotsoup · 09/12/2024 21:55

Sending all my love

ASGIRC · 09/12/2024 21:55

Iwishiwasagiraffe · 09/12/2024 21:50

I hope it all turns out ok op. Were the children actually in the scan room with you? I didn’t think this was allowed

This is a private clinic sex reveal scan. Where Im from, they call them "emotional scans" (IE they wont tell you anything medical, as the staff are not medically trained). They tend to be in 3d (or 4d or whatever!), and you see the baby move around, get some pictures to take home, that kind of stuff! They will also look for the sex and sometimes do a reveal like with lights or whatever, to let you know if its a bou or a girl.

When I went for mine the room turned pink for the "big reveal" (that I had specifically told them I didnt want, I juat wanted to know!)

In any case, sending hugs @Pinkumberella

DancefloorAcrobatics · 09/12/2024 21:59

Thinking of you. 💐

Squeekey · 09/12/2024 21:59

ASGIRC · 09/12/2024 21:55

This is a private clinic sex reveal scan. Where Im from, they call them "emotional scans" (IE they wont tell you anything medical, as the staff are not medically trained). They tend to be in 3d (or 4d or whatever!), and you see the baby move around, get some pictures to take home, that kind of stuff! They will also look for the sex and sometimes do a reveal like with lights or whatever, to let you know if its a bou or a girl.

When I went for mine the room turned pink for the "big reveal" (that I had specifically told them I didnt want, I juat wanted to know!)

In any case, sending hugs @Pinkumberella

Show quote history

Decent ones have qualified sonographers. Mine certainly did and they do a quick health check of the baby before children go in.

Overwhelmedowl · 09/12/2024 22:00

Thinking of you OP x

Iwishiwasagiraffe · 09/12/2024 22:00

ASGIRC · 09/12/2024 21:55

This is a private clinic sex reveal scan. Where Im from, they call them "emotional scans" (IE they wont tell you anything medical, as the staff are not medically trained). They tend to be in 3d (or 4d or whatever!), and you see the baby move around, get some pictures to take home, that kind of stuff! They will also look for the sex and sometimes do a reveal like with lights or whatever, to let you know if its a bou or a girl.

When I went for mine the room turned pink for the "big reveal" (that I had specifically told them I didnt want, I juat wanted to know!)

In any case, sending hugs @Pinkumberella

Show quote history

Ah ok. I had a private scan for mine but they said my toddler wasn’t allowed in so I just presumed it was the general rule

Wigglywoowho · 09/12/2024 22:04

Thinking of you @Pinkumberella

DontBiteTheCat · 09/12/2024 22:04

I hope you’re ok OP x

laalaaleelee · 09/12/2024 22:06

Thinking of you OP 💐