16 weeks no heartbeat

[Pinkumberella]

So today I went to what should have been an exciting gender reveal scan to find out blue/pink but instead ended in heart break.

i attended a private scan and after only having a scan 2 weeks ago to check for downs etc (which all came back low chance along with bloods) and everything was perfect, today the sonography struggled to locate the baby it was tucked down low, we couldn’t see much as all seemed blurry, he said baby was curled which didn’t look good, couldn’t locate a heart beat but kept saying I’m not sure if it’s a faint one - on the grey line they show - and then also said the head looked “lemon shaped” as a posed to round and would indicate a syndrome... Yet two weeks ago it was round and mo syndrome or abnormalities detected.

He advised to contact my midwife in the morning for an urgent referral and check of bloods and rescan. He said it looks as though the pregnancy has recently ended. I came away in tears. My 9 Year old LG was heartbroken and my 3 year old LB was bewildered.

i am 41 and this was a surprise baby but a very welcome surprise, i feel like i have just got my head round it now it’s being ripped AY.

has anyone has this happen and everything turned out okay and baby was just in a very awkward position?

I have had zero cramping or bleeding and also have a tilted womb. I had early scans due to previous early miscarriages and each scan up until today have been fine.

thanks for your time in reading and sorry for waffling my eyes and head hurt from crying ;(

Really sorry OP. I’ve been there, receiving news you don’t expect to hear at a scan. Thankfully you have your two beautiful children to focus on, what a blessing. Sending lots of love.

Also sending you love OP.

Thing is scan places don't just do fun gender reveals etc... I have private non-NHS IVF, it was too far to travel back and forth the the hospital for the monitoring so it was all done through private clinics. It wasn't pregnancy it was pre-pregnancy scans (checking uterine lining, monitoring for cysts/polyps, counting follicles etc...). They also do scans and blood tests for other private medical issues.

The sonographer WAS qualified, she actually primarily worked for the NHS and the private clinic was a side job. She was still unprofessional though, had a rant at us about how its 'selfish' to have IVF. While we where undergoing IVF, in a clinic that does monitoring for IVF, which she knew.

Thing is the NHS doctor said ridiculous things too, theres a lot of ignorance and opinions around infertility that people feel they just have to share even though no one asked. During my MMC a NHS hospital doctor told me I was 'lucky' because many infertile people 'never even get the chance to be pregnant, so at least you got to experience that'. They also said I should stop trying now as if that was it the goal was just to get pregnant for a little bit (not you know, bringing home a baby/child).

I am so, so sorry OP.

I am so sorry. My midwife couldn't find a heartbeat at 16 weeks for me and i went to an emergency scan and the baby had no heartbeat and measured just a couple of days less than 16 weeks so would have only just happened. Never found out why but was an awful thing to go through. My 3 year old (at the time) had to come to the emergency scan as we had no childcare but she is 13 now and i don't think she remembers it.

Thinking of you and hoping for a miracle too. I do think though scans are not always accurate - I was in hospital for 2 months as they thought my son's placenta was over my cervix...when he was born it just turned out he had a bilobed placenta (two lobes rather than one) which they had not made out on the many private scans we had. It's not easy for them to see or hear everything so low down.

Really sorry OP. If there is any silver lining in this, the scan picked it up, and saved you some medical complications. That doesn't of course make it any easier.

Hope you’re ok OP, whichever way your scan went.

As a fellow IVF mother - wtf?!

In what way is having IVF selfish?

There is too many children in the world apparently, there should be a 1 child limit apparently and since fertile people have more than one infertile people shouldn't.

I frankly don't agree with her stance of 1 kid fertile or not, some countries did that in the past and it ended in abhorrent cruelty and deaths.

Its really fun to pay thousands of pounds to here a lecture about how you are selfish for wanting biological children though.

bloody hell. I’m British but live in a country in Scandinavia, and they literally just passed a new law to give women/couples/same-sex couples all 6 fully-rounded IVF cycles for a first child (up from 3) + the same for a second child starting this year.

I can’t believe how backwards that thinking is! Especially considering how infertility is rising. It’s an illness and deserves to be treated as such, not a lifestyle choice.

Plus; who does she think will be paying for future generations if no one is having children: stupid woman.

So sorry you had to deal with that crap.

So sorry OP hope the scan today was positive and sending love it isnt

@Copenhagener do you have one of the highest tax rates though?

High infertility rates are probably because parents are significantly older these days.

A friend was called “ An elderly primigravida
at 27.

That is positively youthful these days!

Thinking of you

Hope you are doing ok, OP.

Been thinking about you.