Well I certainly wasn't expecting that....

[Psmith83]

So it turns out that there's a whole load of weird things that happen to you during pregnancy.
Today I experience a heady cocktail of nausea, heartburn and ravenous hunger. SIMULTANEOUSLY. I didn't know if I was coming or going.
Other highlights have included spurious, uncontrollable farts, shooting pains in my lady bits and an overwhelming contentedness to sit down and do NOTHING. Not even think. Seriously, my head feels like Dido or some sort of light jazz has taken the place of actual thinking.
I also did not anticipate feeling like my own gravitational field when sitting in the sofa.
I'm 26 weeks today.

Anything else to add?

I'm 29 weeks & the weirdest thing so far is I seem to have developed an extremely hairy belly , seriously thick long black hairs
Oh & not forgetting the leaking belly button

My belly button has popped out a good cm in funnel shape. Even my mother pointed at it through my jumper and said 'what IS that?'.

Now full term I gave a detailed description of some mucous consistency to husband in case it was a show. He replied 'my gay friend was right, women are disgusting, always dripping everywhere'. I then asked him to trim my bush before having a sweep.

Oh hodge I have the chewbacca belly too! People wanna look at my bump and im just like 'yea you can see it through my top...' lol

Im 13 weeks with number 3. This time I have constant nausea, the runs (apparently a lesser talked about symptom of pregnancy)
Exhaustion -I literally could drop on any floor and sleep and one if the worst symptoms of all ........ being fricken cold and shivery all the time. Hmm surely it will get better? Won't it?

The snot and bogeys! I've never had such disgusting bogeys and blood clots when I blow my nose. They even wake me up!

Yes Scenic! I wondered what the fuck that was about - I think I actually woke up a few weeks ago with the a finger up my nose trying to dislodge something

And weeing - feeling desperate to go, managing a trickle only, and STILL feeling desperate to go. But there is nothing left to come out.

And leaky boobs - I regularly wake up with crusty circlular patches on my pj tops. DH thinks it's sweet/hilarious I may have to punch him the next time he goes all gooey eyed and talks about how I'm just changing to feed our child

Home IthinkI'vebeen Hacked? I regularly used to take my bra off in traffic on the M6, in between sobbing because I just couldn't bare the rib pain any more.

I particularly appreciated waking up (on holiday) at 26 weeks to discover that all the muscles in my lower back had given up the ghost and it hurt to lie/sit or stand. Two years later and they're still super weak.

I've got bad news and worse news. Bad news first: it gets worse. Worse news second, the piles never go. (And the ACTUAL birth does nothing to help that, obvs.) Stuck with 'em. Sorry to be the bearer.. and all that jazz.

The snoring took me by surprise

I have the weird snot thing as well , have to carry loads of tissues everywhere .
Constantly waking up with a blocked nose so I feel like I can't breathe , I've been like this for 8 weeks now & it doesn't seem to be going anywhere

Due in 12 days and in last week I have developed nosebleeds, on top of shooty fanny....shooty arse, greasy hair and today stsrted bleeding from my ass......yep I have internal piles which apparently may want to appear during the labour i had none of this wil my first.....oh and my burger nips seem to be taking over my chest they are getting that big.

My personal disappointment was that when I was in my third trimester, I was too big to eat much. I looked forward to hoovering through a big buffet meal, but no. Too much baby and less tummy space.

Oh god I don't even know where to start......

The fact my belly is so hairy DP has started calling me Mrs bear!

The snoring and blocked nose

Insomnia

Needing to pee every 5 mins

backache, hip ache, sore breaststroke, swollen feet, indigestion, heartburn.

Being hungry but managing 4 mouthfuls before your full.

constipation or diarrhea, could be either it changes on a daily basis.

bleeding gums

Not being able to get up off the sofa or out of bed.

The exhaustion, I'm so bloody tired because all of the above keeps me up all night, and all those helpful people who say get used to it, I might be up all night with a baby but A; I won't have a hairy stomach, backache, hip ache (see above) and B; I can hand the baby over to DP so I can have a nap!

disclaimer - I loved pregnancy until I hit the 3rd trimester and now I can add permanently grumpy to the list.

30+4 weeks and counting

Arghhhhh bloody auto correct

Sore BREASTS not breaststroke

I was fairly prepared for all kinds of grossness but the two that I wasn't completely expecting:

Wind. Uncontrollable and comically loud.

Bleeding gums. Not just a tiny bit either, gentle brushing with a soft bristle toothbrush still results in a murder scene in the sink.

And obviously the taste of blood mixed with toothpaste makes me retch. I don't think I've made a 'nice' sound in months.

Bring told at 38 weeks with a terrible cold, crazy bad spd, no make up and hair everywhere crawling round Tesco as there was no food in the house .. That I was blooming! I could have punched her in the face haha! ... Ohhh and before I told anyone I was burping about 90 times a day and was having full blown nose bleeds.... Try explaining that away haha!

The nipples! I'm 28 weeks and you can hang a suit of armour off them!!! They're constantly erect and the colour on the dulux paint chart is "aubergine"

Madame Swish, please! Do try to remember you're on Mumsnet. What does that translate to in Farrow & Ball?

I would type more, but am having problems keeping my eyes open. I'm now 20 weeks- whither the second trimester rush of energy eh? Eh?! .

im with you all on the wind. terrible from both ends

i sneezed last week and had to run to the loo as sprang a leak im always starving too but cant eat much. and the gross bogie thing is one thats surprised me too. never had it previous 2 pregnancies. and my hormones are awful at the moment from sobbing to full on rage in 60 seconds hate that bit feel like a bloody nutter

oh and yes my nips are massive aubergine always errect sometimes leaking and facing south. oh the glamour..... bring on the surgial stockings..... 9 weeks til c section wooooo woooooo

How about the excess saliva, hairy bump and itchy rashes...attractive.

I'm currently on methyldopa for my blood pressure and it makes me snore like a dog! I even wake myself up by snorting, it's horrible. Luckily, DH thinks it's funny and can sleep through it - I certainly wouldn't be as happy.
YY to the blocked blood clotty nose, burger nips, shooting fanjo pains and insomnia.
13 days to go before C section.
Not that I'm counting at all!!!

glue I'd forgotten to mention the excess saliva!
I get it every night and have a spittoon at the side of the bed and sometimes wake up dribbling down my face.

Man, pregnancy is so Sexy!

Just dropped onto wish the pregnant folk good luck and say CONSTIPATION! Be warned!

all the previously pregnant blocked from their memories and forgot to mention until I ended up rushing to hospital at 21 weeks where they gave me Fybrogel.

Oh and luxurious pregnant hair but only on my eyebrows which looked like a second fringe.

Restless legs, suffered badly in previous 5 pregnancies. luckily my medication this time seems to help. Pain in my ribs, almost like cramp to match the pain in hips and thighs if I lie in one position in bed for more than an hour!