FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

Thing with that though cas is you can find yourself doing nothing but feeding all day long innit? This is how blokes don't really understand why the house isn't sparkling, washing flapping on the line, and dinner bubbling nicely in the oven on their return from work. They think - 30 mins feed, 5 mins burp, 3 hours babby-sleep = oodles of time to work through the house. Hom actually said to me the other day 'well that's why you get maternity leave isn't it?' I didn't get comprehensive clarification before he was treated for concussion, but I assume he meant all the baby shiz and the housework too is the reason the government pay me to sit at home.

Still, it hurt him more than it hurt me

PMSL @ cunty

But seriously, WTF??

YOB is doing so much - washing, cooking etc. Neither of us do housework so nothing's changed there . BUT he works from home so sees what is going on. He was, I thought, rubbish last night when I asked him to do a nappy at 3am and he just went to sleep, but I found this morning that he'd been awake downstairs for a couple of hours in pain one of his genetic things) so I felt really bad about that.

Course I think I deserve a decent husband after the last one!!!

With regards to the feeding, I'm pretty sore still which is frustrating as by now I'd expect it to improve. I just can't get him to settle easily - he just wants to suck on me - but I've just given him to YOB and he's just gone straight to sleep on his chest. I'm finding being out in public a bit tricky because to get him to latch properly on the right I need to pull out my boob properly and wave it around a bit!

Since writing the above I've had the BF counsellor in. She's shown me how to do an "exaggerated latch". What you need to do is to lightly press above the nipple/areola to tip it slightly as s/he latches, thus showing more of the areola below the nipple to the mouth. Where you press depends on what position you use but you need to press the part which tips the nipple towards the roof of their mouth. I fyou can't get them to open their mouth fully this helps them get a good "mouthful". Seems to work with Comma.

cunty I've also tightly swaddled Comma as the only way to stop the arm flailing but it's a nightmare isn't it.

Ladies... hope you are all well and feasting on blue cheese snacks and the like. Am finding the BF chat all v interesting and hopefully noted for later use.

Did any of you have SPD mildly or otherwise? Seem to have got it and wondering what worked/didn't work for you... Going to visit physio this week and hope that helps.

Oh there's plenty of SPD experience here, honey. Someone will be along soon I'm sure.

cunty are you topping up with EBM or formula, and if EBM when do you express and at what time of day do you top up?

Comma is really unsettled tonight. I'm extremely sore and he seems to want desperately to feed but something is hurting him and he's just coming off and screaming. I've tried everything - feeding, dummy, finger etc. Actually YOB's just got a huge burp out of him - maybe that will fix it.

Fanks rots! Only advice being doled out on pesh board tonight is horse related!!!

Both rots I can't get enough EBM out to top him up even, so when I've BFed at night/evening it's usually a formula top up. I expresxs first thing usually so lunch and afternoon feeds are topped with EBM. Its all still a bit shambolic but Rastus doesn't give a stuff what he gets...

OK. I'm finding it hard at night to satisfy him (bit of a 'mare tonight aktulee but seems to have settled now) but I am holding onto the fact that I'm not short of milk. But I am considering expressing earlier in the day and using some of that at night as I'm finding the constant feeding terribly painful, which is why I was asking how it worked for you.

As I've said before/elsewhere, I can't top up with formula so I am looking for ways to ease my poor nips in the evening.

Hope the new latch idea will help to relieve them. I had none of this with LC.

Same here rots. I have a painful right nip at the moment, so I tend to feed with the left and express the right as it's not quite as painful to express... I get more out of them in the mornings anyway so it makes sense for me to do it then. Bear in mind though what ski said a while back. Express in the morning and it's morning milk, which may not be suitable for evening feeds (or that may of course be bunkum ). It may be better to leave expressing till after lunch?

Breaking news for MN eyes only ( not to be shared on FB): MummyIggy laid a baby girl yesterday (Sunday)!

I'll let her fill you in on any details on her return, but it was a long labour, baby is not huge as expected/feared, and iggy says she is "beautiful!". She's still trying to get round family/friends, so politely requests that we don't out her elsewhere, until it's been made official.

Copying and pasting this message across the ESH community.

Wow! Congratulations Family iggy! Can't wait to get all your news!

cunty, it was cheggers who talked about morning vs. evening milk, I considered this but then put on my white coat and de-bunked it. Reason being? Well, the article talked about various nucleo-proteins and all such heady stuff being found in formula milk. Oh I thought, and walked to the cupboard getting out my formula which had the same proteins etc. names stamped on the outside of the box. How does the formula know what time of day it is? I gave Bear morning EBM last night at 10pm and he went back to sleep... Oh god, am I creating a night owl?

rots I know it flies in the face of all that is holy with you... but... latest research from Uni Tel Aviv shows that babies exposed to formula in first 4 weeks are less likely to develop dairy allergies. It's a fuckin' minefield isn't it - what exactly is it we're all supposed to do for the best? Have you tried a nipple shield on the right nipple? I think EBM may be a great way for you to go - you're not supposed to be in pain all the time. You can of course get organic dairy-free formula too, although you'd probably need a mortgage. On saying that though, apparently you can sell EBM on ebay - there is an "specialised market" - that would pay for the special formula AND a holiday in Antigua for mummy & her cocktails!

( proteins being found in morning BM)

honey apologies for taking over the Deli with horse dilemma! Driving me crazy, enough that I can't stop thinking about it all. I think most of the SPD sufferers are now FESHs hence perhaps not much chatter about it in the Deli.

ski see Deli for horse details and let me have ya wisdom too.

Can't believe it's Monday already again ! Oh well not too bad as I have a short week and a MW appt. Luckily means I only have three days of work clothes to try and has together. The joys of an expanding body.

Yay for iggy's babe! Many, many, many congratulations iggy - can't wait to hear more when you are up for it! Just seen your photos on FB. She is absolutely gorgeous and I love what you've called her - really pretty. Congratulations to you both xxx

at specialist market!!! I had considered donating EBM to the nearest prem baby unit with a milk bank - that was assuming all would be as simple as it was with LC. Sadly there's no chance of it at the moment but that's how confident I was it would all be ok.

Very interesting re new data, ski. Probably in 10 years' time I'll find that the only way to avoid dairy allergies was to do just that while my son sits in a corner shedding his skin. . I certainly don't need to provide extra milk (ie he's getting enough) but I just need him off my boobs for a while (which means EBM if the expresser doesn't irritate them or formula).

I've considered a nipple shield, I must admit. I am trying to work out one thing at a time - today I'm back to the docs as the counsellor said to check out whether the thrush infection (still not cleared) has gone inside the milk ducts which could be causing the breast (not just nip) pain. I am then going to talk to the NCT BF counsellor that we saw at our classes and who I've yet to discuss it with.

I did have a meltdown last night with not knowing what to do. Both nips in a lot of pain, Comma just going on, screaming, coming off. Mentioned this in post. Eventually YOB took him, walked away with him screaming while I sobbed, then got the MOST enormous burp out of him which settled him right down and he was fine thereafter and after a proper feed fell asleep.

I must admit that if I'd not been so successful with feeding LC I may not be considering pushing through this, but, I am determined to sort it out as I know I can. But it's tough, really tough.

cunty are you right handed? It occured to me this morning that it's harder for me to see what's going on when latching him on the right as I'm right handed (if that makes sense). Does anyone else have a boob preference which is the opposite to their handedness?

I DO have latching issues on the right rots - I thought it's because the nipple points more oytwards than the one on the other side but perhaps it is as simple as that .

Enormous burps are ace aren't they. Always require huge congratulations Huge manly trumps are not quite so welcome although better out than in I suppose...

Great job iggypop, and such a beautiful girl. Sounds like it really was a labour so hope everything is ok. Don't forget, TCP and tea tree oil baths will be your friend xx

Did I birth the biggest blooter? What weight was Comma rots? Was expecting it to be iggy with her overdue and her saying she had a huge bump, but she's had a delicate little flower.

silver I'm more relaxed about the hoss type things - simply from the pov that I don't want/need to be micro-managing someone right now - if I had that kind of time I'd be at the stables every day myself. Nobody, but nobody is going to do it 100% your way and if that's not going to work for you then you need to carry on with what you're doing yourself until you're ready to let go of the reins as it were. Of course I was livid the other week at the mane/tail escapades - but from my pov it's not the end of the world and not worth getting that stressed about. As long as the horse isn't requiring a vet or they don't start riding it in a 6" long curb and heavy hands I'm pretty easy going...

haha rots @ "shedding his skin" . That's a fine future you have planned there! I experimented with the nipple shield in hospital because it was so bloody hot and my boobs weren't "ready" - it was virtually impossible to get my nipple to be anything other than a pancake - so totally inappropriate for Bear's needs.

BURPS are brilliant and you're so right cunty they always raise an "ooooh, who's a clever boy then?"! As you say, farts slightly less exciting.

Well Bear had me up at half five and I couldn't put him down until 9:50... which is when I had to leave to pick jailbait up. He fell asleep in the carseat and is still not awake despite being brought home, transferred to the pouch and out on a dog walk in the drizzle. Poor little fella will wake up within the next hour for milk and wonder why he never goes out anywhere! In the last 72 hours we've been to two big shops, the stables, IKEA and the park and he's slept through it all.

A question for fanny - do you have 100% feeling around your scar? I've lost a bit of sensation at the top of my inside right thigh...

7Lbs 9oz. Tiddler for me - LC was nearly 9Lbs. Course he was 3 weeks early.

ski, sadly when it's bad, it's bad. It's been worse for him over the summer when he's been getting hot and sweaty and I've struggled to find natural fabrics for his school uniform to let his skin breathe. A couple of weeks ago he was crying in bed saying, "I don't want to be like this - why didn't you make me differently?". If that's not enough to persuade me to keep going with the BF I don't know what is

He gets it behind his knees, on the inside of his elbow area and on his torso and it can go from being fine one day to complete breakdown and open sores the next day. It's heartbreaking. And I know that his is relatively mild. My Dad has psoriasis which is terribly handicapping at times and a friend at school had eczema all over their body and they had an awful time.

On a positive note, Comma has quite dark skin like his Daddy so I'm really hopeful that he's bypassed our dodgy genes altogether and will have no problems at all!

Nipple update. I'm off to the docs today to have me boobs checked to make sure "nothing else" is going on that's being missed that the non-medical BF counsellors haven't picked up on. I mean, this is getting silly now.

I had severe eczema about 12 yrs ago. Went to a homeopath - 3 months later it was gone and has never come back.

Tuesday what did the homeopath give you!?

Ouch rots the poor little thing. I didn't mean it to sound so flippant, I thought you were referring to comma and not little carrot. A colleague has psoriasis - he was given a "wonder drug" by the consultant at the hospital - a side affect was that his BP went sky high - so they took him off it. He was gutted. Good luck at the docs!

Effect!

cunty LC's been treated by our homeopath for a few years and I find it really helps. Hasn't fixed it though

ski my original comment was flippant (and I was referring to Comma, I'm confusing myself never mind you) Yes it's horrible but it is what it is. I wrote what I did to explain why I'm so vehement about continuing to BF. TBH mostly he is ok, it's only when it flares up which is better than a lot of sufferers who have symptoms all the time.

Just had a long chat with the NCT BF counsellor and she was really helpful. She said that thrush was REALLY painful which contradicts what the GP said last week so I've been sitting here thinking I'm going mad. She's reassured me that I don't need to feed through the pain on the RHS, I can let it go a bit and focus on the LHS which isn't so bad, and I can expect the supply to build up again just fine once it's healed a bit as I've already fed one baby so my body knows what to do just fine.

She's told me what to ask the GP for (tablet, to clear it internally as well as the creams and gels we're using) and to take paracetamol to reduce the pain for a few days. She even recommended using a nip shield on the RHS just to protect it from further damage while it heals.

Had a few tears today as the pain is getting so bad but feeling a lot more positive now.

I KNOW this works so I feel it's worth carrying on and I LOVED feeding LC, so while I'm hating it now I know there's something to work towards. PMA. Bloody antibiotics

Ski meant to ask, how are you getting on with woofas and mini ski? Are they more or less leaving him alone or do you allow them to jump up on sofa/bed when you are sitting there with him? Are you paranoid about hair/touching dog and then baby? Just wondering...

honey We were certainly paranoid about the dog hair at first... nearly 4 weeks in we're quite blase about it - picking the odd dog hair from the underside of his ball sack (how? )! They do leave him alone and yes, we let them sit next to us on the sofa when he's feeding for example. We figured he'd have immune resistance to "doggy germs" being as he's been living in me for 8 months.

Photo in other place - as you can see - doggy's tail is going ten to the dozen but she's staying at a respectful distance!