FESH spa and creche: The Ultimate Destination for survivors of the Palace and Deli: Prologue

[CurlyCasperBaggedABairn]

Welcome weary travellers. It's been a long road, but you made it! Now, hard as it might be, leave your ESH spawn at the creche and step into the spa - where we have every treatment available to soothe your Amityville Horror undercarriage, ravaged raspberries and worn out wits. And - wait for it - we've got the bar back. And it's all-inclusive

So, what are you waiting for? Grab a glass, lower yourself into the jacuzzi and lets get chatting. We are Forever ESH!

P.S Children never cry here...

sorry, till six thirty - forgot six key doesn't work...

Gosh fanny hope he's ok today.

Good sleep, Rastus. Comma wasn't so good. He was awake at 2.30, had a good feed, I was knackered so asked YOB to change him (we're trying to work it so he sleeps through unless I am too tired as he's running around after me all day and not getting a day nap). However he totally screwed it up - cue screaming baby, mama laying in bed stressing over screaming baby, thinking should have done it myself, baby presented back wide a f-ing wake with sleeping bag on backwards, YOB all upset as he'd not done it well enough and I was mad at him... another good hour before I managed to get the little fella back to sleep and then he was awake again at 6. So I brought him into bed and let him help himself while I went back to sleep. We haven't got a good position for that so I am now really sore, but it was worth it for the extra zeds.

We went to the cranial osteopath today. She says he's pulled something in his neck while hanging around inside me with no waters, and that's why he does the comma shape and why he's struggling to feed on my right side, as it's uncomfortable for him that way. She reckons 3 treatments which is expensive but will be worth it if it stops the nip soreness.

LC now on school holidays. Dunno what to do with him!!! Prob going strawberry picking today.

That sounds really whiny! Actually pretty up-beat today.

Wondering how iggy is!

rots Hope you soon manage to work out a system for the nights. Ours is MrP looks after Bonnie and I look after Clyde. My nights often end up like yours: co-sleeping in an awkward side feeding position which is really bad for my pelvis and not great for the latch, but I'm just so tired by then it seems the only thing to do.

Will post more soon. Squirty nappy calls.

Go iggs.

Nappy done. Required complete change.

rots I know you say you are upbeat but in the nicest possible way, you don't really sound like your usual self. Do make sure you are getting any help re potential PND signs. I have just heard from a friend this week who has braved her way through a rough time post baby and now wishes she had got help 18 mths ago. It doesn't hurt to be aware just in case. There's no prizes.

Glad CO was useful. When I spoke to my GP about it she went to great lengths not to be seen to be recommending her husband, who as it turns out is a bit a local specialist! Her advice was:

• it certainly won't do any harm
• don't go unless you have a specific problem
• don't keep going if you don't see real improvement after each single session, ie. you'll know after the first one whether it's working or not so won't waste your money.

Oh, and MrP is now better. He spent most of the night at A&E after being given some IV stuff. He can now swallow but is still pretty sore.

fp pleased to hear MrP is ok!

Apparently me and Him Indoors aren't getting on that well. He thinks I am grouchy and always telling him off. Whereas I think he is v poor at communicating and it's just getting worse which frustrates me and makes me think he doesn't care. He says he doesnt tell me stuff cos he hates always being grouched at whereas if he communicated more I would be less narked. Did anyone else go thru iffy times with the men in their life or is it just me?

silver, like carrots I'm arguing with jailbait in the night. I do love him, enormously, BUT right now in all his wisdom he's trying to "shut up" Bear and make him sleep another hour. Now this helps NOBODY as the best way to deal with Bear is to get up and get on with it... waiting for a baby's furious hunger doesn't help. Also, Bear is not waking up to deliberately upset us - he's 3 weeks old and is NOT manipulative. So yes, right now jailbait and I are falling out. What really pisses me off is that as I'm the one who gets up in the fucking night it makes NO odds to me whether Bear sleeps another 30 minutes or so. Like rots says it's just you get the feeling sometimes that you're better off doing stuff yourself. See horse for further examples!

We've had a mega-busy day - jailbait left for work at 5:30, Bear woke up at 5:32 (we think this is happening because he realises daddy isn't next to him ), walked dogs, baby dump (chicco carrier 25 euros, fits around 40G bosem with bags of room to spare - take note "larger" FESHes), bike shop (new racing bike for jailbait) - the git beat me back to the house 4km! , stables (Bear got a Fisher Price garish coloured button thing which plays nursery rhymes in Dutch (we've been playing with it ), played with the nag, dropped them off and I did the supermarket run. (c.f., something else better off done by me ). Jailbait won't buy more than one day's food at a time which means there's never any fucking food in!

Oh dear, we seem to be moaning about our men again.

YO's sister was at the yard today with her 3 month old, who was born full-term but only 100g bigger than Bear - he is fuckin' 'normous now!

Good to hear ski, well not good but good in I am not alone.

Him Indoors has got to tell his employer in advance and book off his paternity leave now. This raises lots of "what ifs?". So we have gone for booking the week I am due off and if I go into labour early then he will simply have to down tools and leave. A guy he works with booked his leave and his wife had the baybee the day before he was due back at work.

I think it doesn't help with Him Indoors that I don't seemtohave many pals. Use to have social calendar that was out of control and now things have reversed. Him Indoors says tis my fault. Tho not true. Think sadly some friendships seem to now be beyond the sell by date. I would like to add that this is not due to me. I think pals have simply moved on. Which hurts. No point flogging a dead hoss is there?

So he's narked that you've not got "300 of your closest friends" at beck and call? Maybe I'm calling it wrong, but in my experience horsey gals are very independent anyway and your dynamics are just about to change. Friends who'll tolerate you either a) stinking of horse shit or b) baby sick in your hair and thinking a trip to a matinee sounds like a rocking day out will be few and far between - but worth hanging on to. People do move on - more so these days than ever in our transient world. Very few of us are "lucky" enough to have grown up in one place, still live there and still be pals with the girl they sat next to on the first day of primary school 30 years ago. C'est la vie. You don't need a brilliant social calendar though, I've discovered I'm basically a homebody - I love hanging out with my dogs, my jailbait and my Bear. If the hoss could fit its arse on the sofa she'd be welcome too!

More case of he gets hard time cos I am spending lots more time on my tod than I used to. Mostofmy time was spent at yard. Alas no more!

I totally get what you say about the world of friendships and just need to accept things change for whatever reason and not dwell on it.

Once little person arrives I will be more than occupied I know!!!!

Fanks for pep talk. Preggo hormones are making me more crazy than normale.

oh, it has been a man moan day! I shall join in and echo the scenario where it seems Daddy thinks baby is "misbehaving" just to piss him off. Squeaker would not settle this avo. I cracked on with housework and left the pair of them on the sofa watching telly. Hardly taxing, yet he seemed unable to cope and even called me through to help with a nappy change! WTF does he think like is like for me when he's at work/the gym/pursuing his hobby?

Squaker wants to be fed non-stop and held today. He tried to prop her against his leg as he watched telly. I had to explain exactly how that is not the same as being held. "She wants contact FFS!"

Oh and I had her briefly and he would not take her back for an extra couple of minutes, not until his programme finished!

I do feel like I am doing all the work here. This has been a constant bugbear throughout our relationship with regards to housework etc, but I really did not expect it to apply to our child. Second fiddle to adventure sports and television. I am seething!

We had kind of flipped back to more BFing here. But my body will not now keep up. And she's failing to finish her feeds on the breast. Having to express and top-up. Just had to made up big bottle of expressed because my body has run out!. Muncher

Rastus never finishes his feeds. He ends up either asleep or faffing and nipple suckin. We almost always have to top up,...

cunty have you tried tickling his ears or feet if he's waking up and not finishing? Also are you putting him back on the same breast each time until you're sure it's drained? I'm keeping C on the same one for up to 2 hours (meaning, passed time) as he's behaving the same. I've not topped up or expressed yet but still struggling with one side hurting. Hope the BF counsellor tomorrow will help but these are the things my mum suggested to help with the same thing and although I'm sore, he's getting plenty and hasn't got the idea that he CAN be topped up.

fanny I understand what you mean and really appreciate the consideration. I'm actually ok - honestly - but you are right, I'm not my normal self. It's mostly sleep deprivation (not that ANYONE here knows what that's about ) but also I'm still struggling with the iron levels. I have been getting frustrated at my body's inability to do what I want it to do (which is unfair as I'm in awe of what it did to make Comma) but I really am getting better. Today we went to a funfair with LC, and I walked all round it, then we did a bit of shopping, then took LC to Pizza Hut for dinner - and I'm still awake! Just last week (or maybe the week before...) I was utterly exhausted just going to lunch with MIL.

I have wondered myself whether I am feeling a bit PND-ish, or whether it's "just" tiredness, and I am keeping an eye on myself if that makes sense. More to the point, YOB is doing the same as a very close friend suffered from it and he's going to make sure I don't...

But thank you.

Well it's a bit desperate to be honest rots, prob my fault. He feeds for so long but he makes jerky adjustments to his latch after about 15 mins in, meaning he's either nip-sucking or falls off completely. Then we have a battle with his fists to get back on, reat ad nauseam... or he goes to sleep and nothing persuades him to suckle properly. With the best will in the world I couldn't attempt that for 2 hours every 2 hours cos for one I'd be an empty shell and for another my nips would drop off. And my mental health would be in shreds.

I think we've found a happy compromise for all concerned with top ups. He is just incredibly hungry all the time and since I stopped being a martyr to exclusive BF there has been much much less shouting and tears from both of us. Happy baby=happy mummy= happy daddy.

Bought some BF vitamin supplements today- see if they make a difference. I definitely have more milk in my right than in my left. No idea why.

Insomniac reporting for duty. Needed a pee an hour ago. Can I get back to sleep? No. Arse. Arse. Soooooooooo tired yet wide a-frigging awake. Such joy. Means I am going to be about as useful as a chocolate teapot tonight and tomorrow.

To this with menfolk ishoos I hear ya.

cunty That's the mantra we're trying to live by. Btw tickling feet? Works to a degree... but a heel-prick test is far more effective!

I am deeply in awe of all of you able to produce milk though and I got angry with myself yesterday - over 2 hours of pumping (throughout day) and I produced a heady 40ml. Tbf he may well have got a further 40 out but it's disheartening. I followed all the rules and the help I got doesn't sound dissimilar to what the consultants can do... but nobody can make my boobs ripe & fountainous.

curly I'm glad you popped up last night as I was worried about you. What would happen if you were to take off for a few hours to the shops today and leave him in charge?

rots I'm worried about you too but very glad to hear YOB is on the lookout for you. I think you did an awful lot yesterday all considered... have you tried a black russian with a splash of Guinness? (vodka, kahlua, diet coke, splash of black stuff). Never has there been a time more in line with the phrase "mama needs a cocktail". I think you're doing wonderfully because it's hard enough for the rest of us without having a second one to look after - perhaps you can take strength from fanny who is 5(?) weeks ahead but appears to have a modicum of control again! I think you're doing brilliantly with LC and making sure he gets "his" activities too, but please take today "off". Cancel appointments and sofa it up with book & baby - YOB's a big boy now and can hold the fort!

Back to me again: In addition for being angry with my empty boobs I was also livid with myself for devouring a bar of chocolate. I also fear my core muscles are as weak as Bear's... but I'm scared to start working out in case it hurts. Looks like the scar will "open" again today as it's very swollen and hard again due to a build-up of fluid. Also, stoopid orange monster knocked me off my feet in the field yesterday and it hurt like fuck.

silver Embrace the insomnia, it will stand you in good stead... how did hoss lady go?

Silver I was with you in spirit(s). Rastus feeding on and off since 4.30 this morning. Gave up a 7.15 and dumped him on his father's chest, where they both remain, slumbering noisily.

Meanwhile I have come down to sterilise a load of stuff what I couldn't be arsed to do last night, primarily all the expressing stuff to drain my tanks, to find that Hom did it all last night after I went to bed and it's all clean and sparkly this morning.

If only he put the toilet seat down after use...

curly I took myself out on Friday for a couple of hours, had a couple of ciggies, coffee & cake and picked up a few bits in the sales for myself (just jeans & tshirts, nothing extravagent). I loved every minute of it and although my outing was for me... I did end up with a babygro and something for jailbait too! V odd shopping without baybee, bump or man - feels like have massive secret double life and nobody knows I'm a mummeeee!

Fuck me I hope iggy is ok. Who is her PESH-contact do we know?

cossie is her official spokeswoman.

cossie pray to update us!

ski lady is coming to stroke hoss today so let's hoe hoss puts all hooves in right place and that she wants to come back as planned for a ride out. I did discover that current sharer is having probs with hoss picnicking! Something I knocked on the head years ago. FFS. It's at times like these I wonder why I bother and should just turn away. Less head and heartache.

Hope Y'all have a grand Sunday. Believe it or not me and Him Indoors are spending the day together. Yup. Tis troof.

Will check in later for details of iggs and to review the list of P/FESH menfolk that need a bomb up their arse.

Laters mummmmmieeezzzz!

catch up in a mo. just thought I'd share what I know. iggy was planning to head to hosp yesterday late afternoon, when cxs were getting stronger/longer (already regular). I expect (hope) she is busy enjoying her new baby by now! and I'm sure we'll hear soon enough.

cunty you describe perfectly Squeaker's behaviour when she decides she's had enough breast. All that carry on. I try to settle her then she decides she's actually still hungry. I am pumping after each feed to keep supply up and she usually waits until I am all set up with the pump to start screeching. (this can be up to an hour after BF). Little bugger!

rots we tickle toes, take winding/nappy breaks, etc etc and she still won't go back on. que sera...
seconding what ski said re looking after yourself. take care x

ski thanks for the concern. I am well thanks. When she's good, she's very, very good - so I get on with things while I can. When she's "bad" she's horrid, so it takes all my energy and attention to care for her. I can leave him in charge, and have done once (went to shops) when she was less grizzly. I have just this minute told him how I feel because he has opted to care for baby rather than clean the bathroom when he returns from dog walk. I said that was fair enough as long as he looks after her properly as does not act like she's an inconvenience. He didn't look pleased, but will hopefully contemplate it while out for the next half hour or so.

Don't beat yourself up over the milk thing. As long as Bear is provided for one way or another, all will be happy and well. Is not love you're short on, after all

oh shit, here she goes again...