April 2007 - Ange got a new hair cut (creeeeeeeeeeep)

[PillockOfTheCommunity]

too tired for big catch up, hopefully this makes up for missing Ange off the last 2

hello
so i can find you chatter boxes later!

they talk too much don't they, I can't come up with enough interesting titles!

maybe they have all headed round to eddas's for wine / vodka / buckfast? if gmm is there she'll be on port and WKD

port and WKD, combined?

ooh, thats a good idea, I need to know a drink of preference from each of you so I can have one for you on the night!

posting so I can find you all

must go and sort boys stuff for tomorrow.

have just sold W highchair. a little bit my babies are growing up. W is now in the booster seat that J used to use.

Jack Daniels and coke (full fat mind, none of this diet rubbish) with a little bit of ice

my drinks thread

WCL get a Vapouriser. Really clears that snot and crap out of them here I only use it when W is sleeping. Tried it for the first time during W afternoon nap today. There was snot everywhere! But, he sounded so much better. I've put it on tonight, and can heer that both their breathing seems clearer/looser

Another new thread already! It only seems like 5 minutes since the last.

SPB, I stay up late at night as a way of finding me time and because I'm an idiot. When I go to bed and decide it's time to go to sleep I very rarely have trouble unless I'm extremely down, but I'm very bad at making myself go to bed. The only time that changed is when I was pregnant, when I regularly started going to bed before 10 pm, sometimes much earlier. And I go out during the day, but that's easy, when I get home I do very little housework and I try to play with D but sometimes I just put him in a safe place (playpen downstairs, cot upstairs) so I can lie down for two minutes without worrying about him hurting himself.

My dad sometimes takes him for a walk so I can rest, and dp does lots on weekend mornings so I can have a bit of a lie in.

KHIN, hugs to you. I don't know how you manage.

Could you take up Pillock's invite to stay with her, maybe just for a couple of days?

If you don't feel that you can ask your mum to take over looking after the dcs, could you to help you take them somewhere, a local toddler group or anything?

I know someone here with twins a little younger than yours and a daughter 20 months older who managed to get two days a week in a very highly rated Council nursery for the older child due to circumstances, though she does have to pay. I think the Council nurseries cost a lot in relation to income (about half my take home pay and I'm not that badly paid) but in this area a lot of private nurseries charge 50 to 100 per cent more than that.

I hope that your house is ready soon, at least - I realise it won't solve your problems but it sounds as though living with your parents really isn't working for you and what you say about your dad sounds very hard to deal with.

Hope things improve for you from here on.

Must go to bed!

Oh, and POTC, glad to hear that the social worker saw what a great mummy you are too.

Morning, have i posted lately? I know I have been lurking and meaning to post but not sure if I have done..

WCL and runny - your poor babies, hope they get well soon, it must be really draining.

Octo - hope E gets to sleeping better soon

SPB - how is the sleep thing going with T? We can´t do cc either, we have tried once or twice (and lasted minutes) but we also realised it doesn´t really matter what theory we use but we have to be committed to it. Luckily for now things are looking up and he is up about 12am and again about 6am which is fab. But when he does cry I´ll offer him a feed if he needs but otherwise we just sit with him and shush, pat, sing etc etc until he sleeps again. If he still needs this when he´s 3, well we´ll deal with that then!

Mum gave us a walker and N is much happier being left to scoot about in that most of the day and doesn´t screech and whinge as much. Although it´s pretty exhausting still as I haven´t figured out how to shut the drawers so he mostly sits next to them and repeatedly shuts his fingers in it´s a rented house so I don´t feel like we can go screwing in those drawer latches all over the shop.

Ellie I am so pleased to hear that the SS visit went well and that they will try and help you get DLA. Hope you do get it. And glad they said such nice things, hope it gave you a little boost.

KHIN I am so sorry to hear how hard things are for you. I am not sure how you manage and I guess the answer is: barely. Well you are doing a superhuman job in very difficult circumstances. I am not sure what to suggest as it does seem you are caught between a rock and a hard place. I know your dh is trying to get you into the house sooner but what good will that do if you can´t cope NOW? Maybe he needs to be around more to help you and take the day to day pressure off at least until you feel like things are a bit more under control again?

WO - C is beautiful! Absolutely love the photos.

We bought a new washing machine yesterday. So don´t have the money but my parents are going to lend it to us and let us pay it back over a few months. And it wasn´t that expensive so eddas you are not alone. I do a money spreadsheet in excel and it constantly feels like pulling bits from this and that to try and cover costs. I always feel like we are just managing and that is with very little extras. We have had the odd short break but they have been very very cheap, we hardly ever buy new clothes, we never buy ourselves things like cd´s or books, it would just be nice to have a little extra now and then. And then we have to buy a new washing machine so anything extra we might have found goes on that. siiiigh. such is life. And dh just constantly says ´well in summer you earn more so we can do x, y, z´ which frustrates me because it´s not true, I do earn more but I keep us on the same strict budget because that extra money has to tide us over the winter when I work less. And no matter how often I explain this he just forgets it.

That was a bit of an unexpected rant Didn´t mean to moan, sorry! It´s not a big deal, meant to just sympathise that it can be hard but it´s not something that I dwell on! (or try not to)

Hi Mammyjo everything has now left me but I do know you always always reply to my posts so I just want to say hello back to you!

Morning! P woke up just before 7am - think that must be the end of her lie-ins Spew definitely seems to have sorted her out!!

Thanks for new thread, POTC

Be back later ......

Morning everyone, hope those poorly vomiting babies are feeling better.

KHIN - OMG, you have so much stressing you out, I hope the Dr can help tomorrow but agree what you really need is a magic wand to give you some time out. I can sympathise with the toddler trouble as ever since ds started crawling dd has been at him. It's attention-seeking I'm sure but I can't help but react to it as I instinctively want to protect the baby. Do you have any friends with toddlers as it's so much easier if dd is off playing with someone? Poor F too, she must be confused with her dad letting her away with stuff then your dad coming down to strong on her . I've also had some success bribing dd - a chocolate if she leaves ds alone or just plays nicely with him.

POTC, so glad it went OK yesterday.

Morning Liath! Just jumping in the shower ......

No one since my last post!

The tilers have been here since 7.45am

But, the tiling is nearly finished!!!!!

Fil is coming back on Sat to help dh with the plumbing (dh back in work tomorrow) Fair play to the both of them, they've done a fab job (but don't tell them I said that)

maveta Glad you got the washing machine sorted. J and W are in nursery this morning. I'm half expecting a phone call to collect W, but he is much perkier than he has been.

Hiya everyone else

(must go and do something constructive.....does MN count)

morning everyone
elkie, I know exactly what you mean about time to yourself, I find it really hard if I don't have some time to relax.
Maveta, glad N is sleeping better. I thought things were getting better here, but last couple of nights have been worse. He's falling asleep fine but then refusing to be put in his cot. He woke at about 10 last night, took about 45 mins to get him back so not as bad as the night before. He then woke at 2ish, took a little while. He then woke at 5ish, brought him into our bed for a feed where he went through the cycle of suck-suck-cry-rollover-fall asleep for about 5 mins-suc-suck-etc until about 7. I don't think I'll ever get the hang of feeding lying down, although maybe we just need a bigger bed.
I don't know if he's a bit ill though, now I think about it he's been coughing more than usual for the last few days, and yesterday I developed a tiny sore throat and cough. Not painful, just irritating, so maybe I got it from him.
Wow, what a self absorbed rant.
Eddas - cheek at first time for everything

spb W sometimes does this. (and I'm sure you've tried this but just wanted to share) When he's in the "I'm tired but fidgety and grizzly" mood, the best we can do is check all the obv things (hunger, temp, nappy) and then put him in his cot and leave him. he'll grizzly for a bit, but the settles himself. If we fuss too much, it makes him worse iyswim.

Hi CD and Liath!

Runny - glad w seems a little better

SPB - I am starting to learn (yes it´s only taken 9 months and still next time I´ll probably still be slow off the mark) that when N is really hard to settle and wants lots of cuddles, he really isn´t feeling 100%. Why is everything so easy to see in hindsight?? Poor things, we try to cc them, get annoyed and think they´re turning into ratbags and then realise they´re teething/got a cold etc etc Aaaah the mummy guilt...

Have to see two more nurseries today, that will bring the total to 4 and then we have to decide. It´s not even til April but we do need to think about reserving a place. I know there´s only 1 place left in the one we life so far and I´m getting nervous it will go. I spend considerable time each day thinking about how it´s going to work. I feel so about it but no matter how much I rack my brains I can´t change it. I so so so wish I didn´t have to go back full time and I find myself feeling resentful towards dh that he could leave his job if he wanted so N wouldn´t have to go to nursery. And yet he won´t. and that´s not fair because we all have our own choices to make in life, I just wish things were different because I don´t want to put my baby in childcare for so many days.

oh runny yes that´s the other thing, I have found that when I get into the habit of bringing N into bed it makes him worse. I really avoid that now. Feed him in his room and settle etc. The other night dh sat for about 20mins next to his cot just patting/stroking him til he settled.

could you reserve a place in the nursery that you like, then cancel if you find something better? we had to pay a reservation fee of £30 for J which was non refundable (didn't have to with W though becuase of J already being there iyswim)

{{{{Maveta}}} Being a mummy is full of guilty, moments I am afraid Good thing you are not alone though - we're all here to tell you that you are not the only one to feel the way you do and to think the things you think xx

Mummy guilt, aaarrrrgh, I've just been at my wits end again with the grizzling. Don't know how long for, I've made a coffee so he'll probably smell it and wake up, but he's went off quite quickly in the buggy, and the Jehovah's Witnesses on their regular tour of our street seem to have given up on me. Or maybe not, they're just outside now.

Maveta, sorry to hear about the sorting out nursery problems and anxieties. I'm sort of looking forward to going back to work, but I cry every time I think of arranging for D to spend time at the childminders.

sorry maveta, totally missed the mummy guilt

Guilt....(sigh)....it never goes away But you just deal with it. Not quite sure how, but you just do. The worst thing is let resentment build up with you and dh. As much as I hate bringing up some conversations with dh, I always feel better afterwards.

x

Hoep it givesy ou a decent amount of time Elkie. xx Have you spoken to your mum about the blanket pattern yet?? xx