The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

[Backinthebox]

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

£300.60

box i reckon a night out with you sounds like more fun than a threesome. I am dying to know which heart throb is actually a minger.

Arsebiscuits, my bottom is broken again after being fine for the month before laying and the last 6 weeks. I suspect I might be backsliding on the water consumption.

£315.60 But I agree that's a shit list.

Mood lifting here. Death was expected TBH but still a great loss. Someone Squeaks should have met but never did . And my Grandpa is out of hospital now. Thanks for the squeezes.

I'm having my first coffee in about two years. That's what another nightmare night does. Please make this hysterical baby phase pass!

£450.10. Goody two shoes the lot of us it seems... I think their pricing sucks.

It will pass Casp! For at least a few weeks until something else comes along to piss them off....

My baby used to sleep until 7ish. Nowadays he seems to have decided that 6ish is more his thing. Rats.

It is shit, and slightly offensive to boot (sex with a Puerto Rican?).

I didn't give you any hair strokes Caspie so here's some belated ones from me.

Smallboo had a night terror last night. It was out of the blue and horrid. Fine now though though :)

Ah poor smallboo I hope it's a one off. I have realised a side benefit of us borrowing your cot boo sure to guarantee a win for you the following month, right?

Sorry about broken arse rocky.

Yes, I think there's a lot missing from that list. Maybe we should write an ESH version?

• Have you got so silly drunk with your skydiving girlfriend and gay Rick that the three of you agreed to go out to a bar to 'find cock' - then phoned eachother the next day to report results? (£30)
• Have you ever found yourself in a situation where an air force pilot, a dotcom entrepreneur, and an advertising exec all converged on the same bar trying to find you an the assumption they were taking you home? (£20) (yes, that was a bit awkward...)

etc etc

Also I may have cheated a little. I substituted 'Portugese bar owner' for Puerto Rican. Not sure if this makes the question more or less offensive though.

I have had not one, but two occasions where a gang of us jumped up and down singing 'Grant, Grant, where's yer pants.' They were 2 different occasions, with 2 different Grants, on 2 different continents. One of them was followed up by a lesbian stroking my hair and telling me I was like a mermaid (yes, cause I can swim very fast, even with flappy linen trousers on!) and the other occasion involved a captain and was hilarious right up till the point that the shark joined in! He didn't get eaten, but neither did he ever find his trousers. I reckon a tenner fine for any incident that involves successfully parting someone else from their clothes in a public place, and 50 squid if you can come up with a story that involves a naked airline captain being chased out of the sea by a baby shark.

FP Gay Rick sounds like someone I work with.

What's a gay Rick? Is that a euphemism for something that I should know or some sort of special ESH code?

Think HI works with a few gay Rick's too!

Every fabulous single woman has a gay friend named Rick. It is the law.

Gay Ricks are very useful. They constantly tell you that you look amazing. They smell lovely and dance v well. And when you get together for Saturday brunch the stories they tell about the night before are always outrageous - thus making your own behaviour appear much less sluttish by comparison.

mine was a Ross rather than a Rick!

Well, no injections for Squeaks cause her temp is up again. Her chest has got worse so we're back at docs tomorrow for a proper look. Her cough hasn't fully gone since March.

I never had a GayRick when I was single. Does this mean I was not fabulous? I had (and still do) a few female gayfriends though. Does that count?

Hope squeakaroo mends real soon.

I've had a rotten day. The baybee has been megatron whingey and a right pain in general. So much so I did get cross with him when he started messing around at dinner time again. His response was to stare and then continue with the raspberry blowing and HI took over.

We have family over tonight and no surprise it's all going tits up and MB seems intent on being awake for the visit. I wanted him stashed away in snoozeville upstairs.

Sorry to moan.

Hope Squeaks is better soon. Hope you're having some gin fizzes yourself HiHoSilver, sounds like you need them. Is it your birthday this week too? Mine is on Thursday, I have no plans at the moment. Although am going to the baby screening of Harry Potter on Friday and will no doubt have cake after. Am not expecting much on the day, my birthday present from TBG is driving lessons so will have no fab pressies to entertain me. But being able to drive would be cool.

I am exhausted today. Went to buggy fit class this morning and for the first time the baybee did not kick off, require feeding, or any attention for the whole class. She was happy just wriggling in her pram. Which meant I had to do the whole damn class instead of getting a nice breather to feed her. I better have lost at least a stone after that.

I have a Gay David, if that counts?

Mine's Fri muse. I'm having a couple of beauty treatments, tho a facelift is probably the only thing that will get rid of these wrinkles. Then we are having a family day. Hopefully meaning HI will do lionshsare of parenting. Been full on last few days and then first day at home it's been a tough one!

Better go. Guests here. It's wine o'clock!

I have Auntie Jez.

I am jealous of all spa day goings-on. I have a voucher for a Christmas present from OH, and Cluck has it's twin. It is now the middle of the 7th month of the year and we have still not found a suitable time for both of us to go together - pregnancy, newborns, other holidays, now a broken limb, and soon a return to work mean that next Christmas may arrive before I get my massage!

back from Grandad's. Artie on the verge of crawling, keep thinking today will be the day....

hope all ok?

Arrgh. Thought the washing machine was fixed. The man came yesterday, did the do. Got one wash out of it yesterday, all good! Then today it broke again leaving me with a pile of soaking wet dirty nappies and no clean ones to put on Sprout. Ffs!! And it's properly broken this time instead of just not working properly but being manageable. I have had to take it all to MILs house.

At least my mum is here to help out for a few days and we had a nice day apart from that, lunch out (including first public feed), big long walk on beach Also can't quite believe Sprout slept through until 5.30 this morning from 8.30 last night. Then went back to bed for 2 hours at 7.30!! This is AMAZEBALLS! But no doubt a fluke occurrence. Prob on best behaviour as TB is back in with us while mum is here.

Sorry for memene. Hope squeaks is feeling better today curly? and hope silvs had a better day too.

I haven't had a proper gay friend since uni, although I have worked with a few, they tended to be very bitchy (think ugly Betty)

Did Artie crawl today? Sprout seems to have doubled in size the last week. I am not looking forward to the day I won't be able to jusg plonk her down where ever I like but I guess that's a while off yet.

rockstar we had much better day. Prob cos we went to a friend's this morning. Well done on the public feed. Nice to have a bit of help and way to go on Sprout the super snoozer!

MB had pasta and red pesto for tea, he's proper chewing and everyfink. Tho he gagged on his lunch offering of mashed broccoli, carrots and peas. Classy child. You would have thought it was laced with liver or summat.

We are currently watching The Simpsons with him whilst balancing building blocks on his bonce. He sits statue still then waits for them to slide off. Hilarious. Poor child!

Cos I will swap your non-crawling Artie for a crawling LG. A non-crawling child would be very useful when I have a broken leg (did I mention that already?) LG is proving very adept at crawling off the step in the corridor, pulling the Sky box onto his head, removing batteries from remotes and licking them, and putting pebbles and paperclips into his mouth - all much faster than I can hobble or crawl over to him myself! Only 10 days till the nanny starts, though - hurray!

. Did someone mention an 8 month growth spurt or sleep regression or summat? I was up at 12, 4 and 6 last night. It's like having a newborn. I had just drifted back to the land of nod when mini shouts from his door "it's morning time!..tick toxck says it's morning time" and Buzz Lightyear (who mini insists in taking to bed with him) shouts "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND". Actually last night was pretty bad but the last 5 nights have been up a least once. Plz to tell me it will pass.

yup, 8m regression is lots of fun!

Well done on public feed rocket - who's have thought you'd be doing that when you started your post on feeding section??

He did not crawl again today. Well not unless he did it at the CMs.

silv artie likes to balance stacking cups on his head, is hilarious.

He?s not stupid, my boy. Why bother putting the right shapes through the right holes on top of the shape sorter, when both shapes easily go in and out of the door on the front of it??