The CRESH Creche and Spa - What's your excuse for not going back to work?

[Backinthebox]

Liking maternity leave too much? Can't be arsed to go back to your old job? Why not get made redundant, set up a company, have another baybee or even fall off a horse? Anything to spend more time with our little darlings! And it's so naice here - pass the gin!

Think I've gone a bit mental too Alps - spent just over a grand . Is bloody good quality and should last us for the next 20 years. Just need to eBay every item of clothing, crap & junk to pay for it all now...

A grand on a tent Alps? That does seem a bit to me. We got a cheapo Coleman Arinos last year for about £100 last year and it's perfectly fine - 2 sep. sleeping areas (or one plus big "living room" space). Tall enough for a 6 footer to stand up in. But then before that we had the kind of tent you could sling on the back of a bike for x country bike trips for so I may not be the most demanding of customers comfort-wise. And the Dutch do like their mod cons when camping don't they? We want to try taking Squib for a camping trip in it at some point this year before the weather becomes cack. I suspect we may be wanting to find a campsite with big gaps between the tents...or investing in a new one with full sound insulation, but then listening to our son screaming may be karma for the night we got to listen to drunken Glaswegians playing Buddy Holly until 3 in the morning at a site next to Loch Tay. Still can't hear Peggy Sue without shuddering...

Laurie routine at 4 weeks? I think that just happens in fairy tales, doesn't it? I think the routine thing starts to kick in from about 2 months, no? We just plugged away at doing the same thing every evening and keeping the lights down low etc. You'll get there eventually...ish*. If yours is a vampire, ours appears to be turning into a bat. Whatever mood he is in, hang him upside down from his ankles, and he starts giggling like a loon. Will wriggle himself into a headstand when he's playing on his dad's lap at any opportunity. Is there a baby circus school I can sign him up to somewhere???

*Although I believe not fully entrenched until about 15 years old and they sleep about 15 hours a day, no?

Kate - putting my lovely Hobbs suits back on is one of the few things about returning to work that appeals. My last place was "business casual" which suited my maternity wear but I do miss being suited and booted.

Lou 4 weeks is far too early to be worrying about a routine, just go with the flow.

Hi lozza! The vampire thing is fairly standard in the early days. Apparently it's something to do with wanting the comfort of movement, so when you stop moving and go to bed they get restless. Or something like that...

muse The DLR, you say? I'll have to keep that in mind when planning my travel to the SHOW JUMPING DAY OF THE EVENTING!!

(Not showing off, really.)
(OK, I am a little bit.)

Sadly I have just the one ticket so I can't help out any ESHes. But as box says I'm sure it will be really crap compared to watching it on telly.

Agree with Medee re suits. At least if I have to put a whistle on I know where I am and when I got changed into my cycle gear at the end of the day I was officially "off duty". Smart casual would do my head in...means a whole different wardrobe, as I can't very well turn up in my usual scruffy jeans...and I hate clothes shopping.

Maybe I should just look for a job that requires a uniform...

muser has given me some awesome advice! I knew the brains would be found in CRESH!

I took the dogs out for a walk earlier and we went through an underpass next to a 6th form/adult education college. Written in spray paint was: 2 + 1 = 3 * nothing.

AIBU to go back with my red spray paint tin and write "WRONG. See me after class."? I know it's only a small niggle but these people are supposed to be learning!

Alright bitches. 1000+ sheets on a tent? Fuck me. I however have just spent £240 on new bras. I figured I need as much uplift as I can get so headed down to Rigby and Peller and my boobs look a bit more perky now. I should have waited until I had stoped feeding but frankly I can't stand the droop anymore and pre preggo ones don't fit.

So, this going back to work thing. Well, since my boss and his boss have just been fired it looks like I probably don't have a job to go back to either. May be I will just have another baybee.

Loz what is this routine thingie you are talking about? In my world routines are just one more thing to organise myself into failing to achieve.

Alps I think your graffiti would be perfectly in order.

When I do eventually go back to work I thank my lucky stars that I just have to go to uniform stores and get whichever navy blue suit fits and then get the appropriate silver bits sewn on. Given some of the times I start work at I am grateful I don't have to think about what I am going to wear.

We have just got back from pre-school sports day. TT won the running race, came last in the egg and spoon race, and refused to take part in the dressing up race, all as expected. OH is not covering himself in glory today. He spent the first half of the sports day on the phone to work, the second half of it telling people what a miserable and demanding patient I am being. As I have been making a special effort to be cheerful and undemanding, I might just spend a little while living down to his description and see how he likes that. He didn't chat to any of the other parents and then moaned he didn't know anyone even though at least 3 fathers made an effort to go and chat to him. Then he stated that we had to leave immediately because he has more work to do. I wanted to stay and see if I had won the 3 months free gym membership raffle prize! Now he is too busy to make me any food - so I am eating things out of the cupboard that I can carry through to the sofa in my pocket. Miseryguts.

FP are you sure you only got one ticket? Have you double checked? Why on earth did you only buy one?

box So you do think being there would be better than watching on telly?

Obviously the one ticket thing is because it's supposed to be my special treat, so MrP can sort out the kids while I'm gone. (We did actually try to get tickets for the whole family to cross country day, but we got nada.)

In other news... we may have just bought a rather expensive 4 bedroom detached village house....

FP obviously I will have the superior viewing experience, although I may concede that you might have a slightly better atmosphere in the arena. And you'll have to get into London - the closest I ever get to London is Olympia once a year.

Sounds exciting on the house front - your life has got very exciting all of a sudden!

It turns out I won a haircut and a golf brolley in the sports day raffle. Shame - I so wanted to win the gym membership AND be able to see people's faces as I hopped on my crutches to collect it

box I have to conceed on the point made about having to get myself to that London. After I won the ticket I did a quick search for trains / connections and apparently I have to depart the night before. Blaardy hell! I can drive there in less than 2 hours so what gives?

Yes, life suddenly is rather exciting but hampered by the following:

• Today I have d&v, massive headache, and feel like I'm going to barf any second
• Gulp at mortgage
• Cannot get my sums to work out on the childcare front. Waaah!! Am in a tailspin that my new stonking great salary will after tax be nearly entirely swallowed up by childcare costs. How?!

Seriously, any help on the last point would be greatly appreciated. MrP can't believe that a nanny is £9 / hr. But that's the same per day rate as two children at nursery anyway. And when I looked at local childminders one quoted £5 / hr / child on her website! WTFF? Am I missing something?

I really have to get this organised pronto, and I daren't advertise until I know what I'm looking for.

P.S. I'll have that haircut if you don't want it. I probably should get one before starting work since my last one was in November. (For the interview I blinded them with an up-do and hoped they didn't notice the split ends and mousy regrowth.)

FP I'm no expert on such matters but could you look into whether your work offer childcare vouchers? I think it effectively allows you to knock the tax off the part of your salary that goes towards childcare costs. I know many childminders accept them, presumably nurseries too. Trouble with nannies is that if you are employing them you have to pay them PAYE so you're paying them their salary PLUS employer's NI contributions, holiday pay, bla bla bla. And if you use agency then they take a massive cut too. They is expensive fo' sho'.

Other options might be a nanny share - there's websites that advertise them. I have friends that went that route and found it worked well for them - obv cheaper than nanny to self, and the kids get a bit more company to play with. Dunno how many sharers you might have in your neck of the woods if you're really rural, but maybe worth investigating?

Excellent news on house!

Thanks light. Yes we already use maximum childcare vouchers from MrP's salary and will do the same when mine starts. But I can't get over the actual costs. Also, it's rare to find an Ofsted registered nanny so we are thinking of doing 3 days nanny / 2 at nursery in order to use the vouchers. ?? Yes, it is clear we are very confused.

Yes to extra costs for the nanny, but the advantage is (1) they come to you so no mad scramble getting kids dressed and into the car before work, (2) if a child is sick you don't have to take a day off work just because Junior had a little vomit 2 days ago. Oh and (3) if you're lucky they'll empty the dishwasher and sign for the supermarket delivery!

But Bonnie loooves nursery so we don't want to remove her entirely. She is actually getting quite a big gang of friends there and it's so good for her. Not so good for Clyde though. He would probably prefer a nanny.

Is this why mothers end up not returning to work while they have more than one pre-schooler? If so that can be my excuse for the thread.

I so want to quit my job and be your nanny Fanny! Brain is on overtime trying to come up with ideas to make money without doing what I do now.

The childcare thing's a nightmare isn't it? I think the friends who went the shared nanny route used to alternate houses with their sharers, so they only had the mad dash out of the door on alternate days.

Was talking to a friend who has 2 preschoolers who has just registered as a childminder as her salary wouldn't cover childcare for her to go back to work. Trouble for her is that she doesn't want to have other people's kids in the house after 6.30 when she needs to start getting hers to bed, and of course most working mums* want the flexibility to not have to race back by then.

My sister in law in Belgium is so lucky in that respect - she has 2 grandmothers within 10 minutes drive who do the childcare for free - seems to be much more common over there, but then most Belgians never seem to move more than 5 miles from where they grew up!

*and it mainly seems to still be the mums' problem...sigh.

Yes, mother's responsibility here too. We have a nanny starting in 3 weeks (in the vague hope that I will actually go back to work one day soon! In the meantime she can look after the kids while I build up the strength in my ankle by decorating the extension .) She's going to cost us about £10500pa for 10 days in every 28 days, and is much more flexible than a nursery or childminder could be. Flexibility is the key in this household, what with my job and OH working for himself. She also has light housework (ie kids laundry, kids bedrooms, and tidying up after cooking for kids etc) and chicken care on her job duties, so that someone will be keeping the birdies fed and eggs collected while I am on trips. Believe me, we have explored a lot of different options, and getting someone in is the easiest and cheapest option when you don't work standard hours. Will you or your husband be able to work from home on regular days, Fanny? because you could cut down on the childcare a bit that way. Although I do still have flashbacks to the time I was pregnant and grounded and working from home, and was on a conference call with a map making company from Sweden, and TT wouldn't go an entertain herself, choosing instead to stand just behind me yelling 'Mummy I want a lolly!' It was a particularly fraught phone call, as I had just told the map makers that the new map they had designed for us was completely unfit for purpose and they were going to have to do it all over again, and you could almost hear the hush at the other end of the line as they were wondering whether I had completely lost the plot with my lolly demands!

My office would refuse a working from home request without childcare, except in emergencies. I am dreading the whole childcare thing. We're going to look for a childminder as we're hoping to move so choosing a nursery would be tricky. I think I will either spend a lot of time tied to a Blackberry, or my career will be pretty much dead. But then I've never been willing to play the hours game they like in my office, so at some point I was going to hit the wall. I like working, but it's just one part of my life.

Having a child has made a huge difference to my hours. I just say no now, whereas in the past I was all too eager to accommodate requests for out of hours work (which are required in my job). Mind you, I have arranged a babysitter for next week so I can work an event that will keep me there until long after Squeaks goes to bed. And I have had to turn down invitations to swanky functions in that there London because they always seem to fall when SFF is on nights.

I finally have a counselling appointment - next week I'm going to have to leave work for it, and I'm very much hoping I can just say "medical appointment". I don't even know where we'll start. The ADs keep everything nice and numb.

at tent cost. It must be a bloody mansion. I thought I was bad for contemplating a £450 multi-room and pram porch job last summer!

fanny I have actually spotted a job that is the next level up from me at the place where you will be working. If I could be arsed having a career I would be tempted to go for it and offer to nanny share. (SFF not getting a say about moving, of course)

I'm hearing nightmare stories about nursery places around here - waiting lists, expense etc. It doesnt help not knowing when and where i will be working but I do somethig about it soon.

As soon as I could be arsed after MB arrived I contacted work and requested revised days. They considered it. I found nursery and booked him in and prayed like hell work said yes!!

If we have another there will be no point me going back to work. Hoo fucking ray This will be a tough decision.

Working from home? MrP now refuses to do it if the children are here as it is seriously chaotic. Bonnie is going through a very high energy phase (please god, do let it be a phase) so I don't blame him. It was hard enough yesterday trying to negotiate the house purchase with Bonnie yelling 'Mummy I did a POO!' repeatedly 2 inches from the mouthpiece. (Yes this really happened.)

caspy Do it! Do it!!

By the way, the new house (fingers crossed) is a bit closer to your ILs. I'll PM you.

I am hoping not to be at work too long before diffment. Tho this may not go according to plan of course. But I bloody hope it does cos I can't stay in this job. It'll be the death of me. Death through boredom. How do I explain being preggo so soon after MB if it happens?

Like you curl I won't be able to do the early morning and late evening meets as per pre-MB. No doubt they'll use this as evidence that I can no longer fulfil the role and after my probation will switch it back to FT. ESP as my colleague wanted to go PT and wanted my role to be FT and I've ruined her plans and she seems to be influential for some reason. I know not why. I will say that being a muvva has made me less tolerant of other people's issues and general bullshit. I won't be bullied again.

I am totally 'lalalala' fingers in ears re childcare as being self employed I have no idea what the hrll I am going to do for work let alone child care. I would need to have guaranteed regular work to be able to book a nursery yet often contracts come up last minute and are short term. It's possible I might need to work in the evenings while TB looked after sprout but that just sounds like a nightmare. Or might have to find a full time/permanent job which would involve a min hour commute and basically not seeing sprout for more than an hour a day :-( this is definitely going to be avoided if at all possible. I am just hoping interest rates stay low so we can afford for me to sponge of TB for as long as pos.
A large one for a tent? Does it have gold plated pegs and swarovski crystal zip pulls? our last tent cost £25 quid from tescos, granted it was crap and will need to be upgraded should we decide to take sprout camping (I dreamof a campervan but will probably have to make do witha slightly better tent) . Anyway I thought camping was frowned up round these parts or is that only while TTC? :o

I'm going camping today. Yes, you read that right. Takes more than a broken leg to keep the Box household down - we took my mother for a month of skiing when she broke her leg! I have plenty of wine on order, which nice Mr Tesco should be bringing any minute now, and then off to sit in a field in Northamptonshire.

Cluck likes her comforts. Her tent probably has en-suite bathrooms to all 3 bedrooms, a butler, and feather beds. She was describing something to me that had the bedrooms at the back with a separate lobby, then a living room out front with a veranda for outdoor living. That first sentence is made up, but the second sentence is actually rather closer to the words that came out of her mouth!

Why oh why do all babies have a fascination with removing the Sky box card and hiding it?