What would you ask a Jehovah’s Witness if you could?

[BreakingCycles]

Hello I am doing a bit of personal research for my own curiosity.
I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness but managed to get out.
Because I was raised in it, my thinking has been shaped differently than people who were not. I am very curious what such people might think about jws.
So what have you always wondered about jws but felt you couldn’t ask?
Or what are / were your perceptions of them from what you’ve seen around you?
No question too small or silly.
I appreciate all perspectives with open curiosity.
thanks in advance to any who shares!

As a child, did you feel you missed out (birthdays, Christmas, school events, etc)? What are/were your thoughts, then and now?

I don’t get their desperation.

I understand they want to help people, spread the word and talk about their beliefs; but why the knocking on doors?

We recently received a relatively long handwritten letter from one, containing his name and personal number. Why? I’m fairly certain that I am NOT what they’re looking for.

Enjoy your religion. Bond with similar people. Talk about it if the subject arises. But I’ll never understand the need to convert others.

Very few other religions do this.

Is it true only 40,000 people will get into heaven?

Why do they insist on lying when they decide to try and talk to you? The approach I had from a group of 3 was 'we're doing a survey about the family' no you're not. And why the handwritten letters?

How easy or difficult have you found dating since leaving? Is there any specific obstacles you’ve encountered?

Do you think that the push to get JWs to go out and knock on doors was because of a genuine calling to proselytise, or was it more a way to expose young JWs to hostility and so make them more likely to retreat to the JW fold as a place of perceived safety?

Jesus told his disciples to spread the word ‘go and make disciples of all nations’.
Many Christians prosyletise, it’s not just JWs. They do so because they believe it’s helping people to avoid eternal damnation and it’s what Jesus wanted them to do.
Many Muslims do the same.
It’s really not that unusual. It’s just that most do it in different ways than knocking on doors.

They’re trying to spread the Good News. They’re not doing any harm. I am a Christian and I’m always nice to them. It’s not my bag, I’m CofE, but I wouldn’t be hostile.

I’m actually in awe of JWs that manage to keep their children from birthdays, Christmas celebrations etc. Was it difficult as a child? Was it difficult on your parents?

My perception was of cruelty to their children who were my friends and classmates. If they refused to conform, as teenagers will often do, they were treated badly, to the extent of being thrown out of their home on leaving school.
This may not be usual, but I saw such things in more than one JW family.

My perception? A weird cult.

Questions I've always wondered but wouldn't ask:

(This is specific to the jhws from our area - north of Scotland)

Why do all of the jhws have English accents?
Also, why do they all have blonde hair & why are they all window cleaners?

Blood transfusions. I will never, ever understand how a JW will refuse blood even if it could be lifesaving. Especially for their own child.

Funny, I just met two - they were knocking on my son’s door when I came to visit him.

Has it been difficult to lose a sense of community since leaving?

Hace you seen Everyone Else Burns? Did you laugh or wince?

I would like to ask JW parents if they could really refuse a lifesaving blood transfusion for their child if it came down to it. It's the one thing I just can't get head around because I just couldn't do it. They have every right to follow whatever religion they want, but it seems so unfathomable to me.

See I don’t believe in life after death so I absolutely would want to do everything in my power to save my child’s life so I agree with you.
But I suppose if I genuinely believed that giving them a blood transfusion would jeopardise their salvation then I might think twice and doing so would be for selfish reasons.
I know (distantly) someone whose son was diagnosed with leukaemia (they are JWs). He was immediately made a ward of court so that they did not have to make the choice (it must be a heartbreaking decision whatever you chose - your child’s life or their salvation) and their son was able to have treatment.

My neighbour is a JW. She is very nice. I had no idea - she only mentioned it because I gave her a box of fancy mince pies for Christmas one year, and she was wanting to explain that she didn't celebrate Christmas. Lovely lady. Has never said anything else about her religion. We don't talk much - quite different people/backgrounds/ages but she is always pleasant. So they aren't evangelical all the time.

There were 2 JWs at my dcs school.
I'd like to have known why they couldn't come round to our house to play. Why they weren't allowed to own their own house, could only rent.
The mum and her dcs were lovely. Her dcs were always very well behaved and polite.

But do boundaries and manners not come into it?

I already have a religion. I don’t need a spare. And I assume most people either have a religion, don’t want one, or if they do want one will go out and seek it.

Do they not think that knocking on doors to give their opinions is intrusive and rude?

It’s so odd. We have a demon head door knocker, a pumpkin outside and witches bells and they still think that knocking on our door is the way forward.

It baffles me.

Jesus told his disciples to do many things, not least to give away all their possessions to the poor.

It's endlessly fascinating which bits of Jesus' requirements Christians pay attention to and which bits they happily ignore. Someone more cynical than I would suspect that they tend to pay attention to the bits that are easy and don't cost them much, and overlook the bits that would really put a crimp in their lifestyle.

Oh I completely agree.
Many are quite adept at completely missing the entire point of love thy neighbour.
For the record, I am not a Christian (nor a follower of any religion).

You could say the same about people canvassing on behalf of candidates in elections.
I wouldn’t say it’s rude of them. Any I’ve encountered have been nothing but polite. Intrusive maybe, but 30 seconds to say ‘no thank you’ is hardly a significant hardship. I’ve never had anyone try to press it if I’ve said I’m not interested.
In fact, I find the people who try to get you to signup for charity donations outside supermarkets far ruder and more intrusive than any religious doorsteppers I’ve ever met.

Nothing.

Why are women treated as second class citizens, unable to teach at meetings or lead prayer if there is a man around?

Why are women are considered 'mens helpers' and are unable to question men in meetings?
Why are women expected to be submissive to their husbands?
Why are women not allowed to wear trousers for some parts of ceremonies?
What's the JW stance on abortion and abortion following rape?

Why do JWs spend so much time stood around on street corners, in the park etc
Also why do the men make especially poor fathers (in my experience)

Every week a little group of Jehovah's Witnesses stand around a shopping trolley and a JW.org poster outside my local supermarket.

They never approach anyone, they seem to avoid meeting your eye.

What's the point of that?