What would you ask a Jehovah’s Witness if you could?

[BreakingCycles]

Hello I am doing a bit of personal research for my own curiosity.
I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness but managed to get out.
Because I was raised in it, my thinking has been shaped differently than people who were not. I am very curious what such people might think about jws.
So what have you always wondered about jws but felt you couldn’t ask?
Or what are / were your perceptions of them from what you’ve seen around you?
No question too small or silly.
I appreciate all perspectives with open curiosity.
thanks in advance to any who shares!

JWs are taught that only 144,000 will go to heaven and the rest of "righteous" mankind will live on paradise earth
They are taught that these 144000 will rule over the rest of humans. The leaders of JWs say they are in this number and so will rule over the others in heaven. It really creates a sense of superiority and fear of displeasing

hi @Lightuptheroom is there more examples you have of lying? as far as that group saying they were doing a survey...I cant answer for them, im not sure why sorry. but its likely to do with just trying to engage ppl in conversation. jws are so disliked etc especially these days that they really have to almost "trick" ppl into a conversation.
as i said in another answer, this all comes from the immense pressure from the top to be out " making disciples" it is so heavily shame based...it plays on a natural human desire to be accepted and loved and not rejected by your peers.
some jws actually think they have life saving answers yes, but most just want to get their hours done and get home to have some free time
Oh and the letters are a result of the pandemic. because during lockdown jws couldnt knock doors, but the leaders knew they still need to keep members busy so they dont start waking up (brainwashing) they said to write letters. this really took off because sooo many jws hate knocking doors so theyd rather hide at home and write than be shouted at. at least they fulfill their hours requirement.

hi @FeegleFion theres a question hahaha . well I am married but separated, to a jw. its a bit of a mess. I havent had any experience with dating outside as yet. And I'll be honest it does scare me! things like starting this thread show me just how little ppl who havent been raised in high control situations or abuse understand about what it does to somone.

I carry a lot of trauma so I know its going to be harder for me maybe, but at the moment I just cant see how I could ever date. My trust in ppl especially men is pretty fragile sadly.
I do think that ultimately ppl are beautiful and amazing and loving, I just also know theres a lot of liars out there.
sorry I cant be more specific on dating :)

@GasperyJacquesRoberts I cant remember if ive replied to this already and this dinosaur of a laptop will crash if i go back a page haha. But what ive said above covers a little of what you mentioned here. And i think i did respond. But i want to say again how observant you are in picking up on this. Do you have any past experience in the jws? is that why? or can you just see it for what it is?
Also, I do think way back in the 50s-90s they really thought they were bringing in "deserving ones". into the "truth" as they call it. sadly I think it has gotten more cult like and so it now serves a purpose of keeping jws in the fold as you say, yes

@Screamingabdabz thats lovely that you are not hostile. you have no idea how much that can help someone

one of the times i did do door knocking, I actually got asked in and we had a "bible study" for weeks. that wonderful lady asked me questions that i couldnt answer and sowed a seed for allowing me to secretly question things. she was never rude or anything. i much to thank her for

I am interested in whether the breakdown of your marriage was related to JW indoctrination. If you feel able to share.

@DillyDallyingAllDay It was difficult as a child being a jw for so many reasons. I wrote a big response above about this to someone else if youre interested more.
I dont think my parents found it hard really. My parents were a bit odd anyway. they hated conformity and religion and ironically thought that by not celebrating "religious" events like xmas , they were really getting things right.
I know that might seem bonkers. but they are bonkers haha.
They had looked at joining a hippy commune and then the jws got them :) from door knocking back in the 70s! ;)
These days , as society in general moves away from religions, I see jw parents REALLY struggling to not celebrate especially birthdays. and there are rumours that the leaders are going to let it slide soon. because they are losing numbers and need to keep the upcoming young generation in due to door knocking not working so much

I have never once seen someone engaging with the JWs who stand on street corners. There are invariably about five or six of them just standing there chatting. They must find it so boring. I also wonder how they can do it rather than being at work like everyone else.

hi @Maidenjourney it was yes. but not as you may think. my husband also woke up to our brainwashing, but he wanted to stay quiet and stay in it to avoid being shunned by his own daughter. as many do out of fear. I absolutely could not do that and it was the death of us after years of not being compatible anyway.
I made a stand and left. in the chaos of all that he faded. its very hurtful and complex serious of events. we are actually still living together. because due to the cult we have so little financially I need to get myself built up before i can leave and take my son with me if he wants to (hes not his son)

Thank you for all the responses OP.
Is your husband’s daughter your daughter? Is your ds a JW, how old is he? Will he willingly leave JW with you?

My involvement with JWs has been limited to one or two acquaintances plus a number of people knocking at my door over the years. The reason I asked about the "exposure to mainstream hostility as a motivator of retreating to the religion" thing is that I've heard much the same from ex-Mormons.

I can quite understand how repeatedly being treated with derision and contempt would be a powerful motivator to returning to the fold, particularly if "the fold" is one you've been raised in from childhood. It can't be ignored how many people are convinced that the religion they were raised in from birth is the one they grow up to believe as representing The Truth. If you were raised from birth being told that the earth is flat and that anyone who tells you it's round is a victim of a conspiracy, it'd be hard to break away from that too.

@thedevilinablackdress thank you for sharing your experience of jws. you have seen an all too common side yes. it happens a lot! and its awful :(
the shunning and children being coerced are the main reasons people need to realise how harmful it is. I would love to do something to help change this. thats why people sharing their perceptions and experiences is helpful for me

hi I appreciate Im late to reply and so you may not respond but id be really interested in more of your opinion? you can see it as a cult. what does this look like in your mind? as in...some people think a cult is full of people who know and understand theyre in a cult and choose to be. do you see it this way?
If i stand a chance of helping others , we need people outside the cult to understand more you see. there are a few politicians pushing for laws around the shunning and child coercion but more needs to be done.

As far as why jws in your area are english is probably because theyve been sent from places in england to live up in scotland and the islands (it happens for any remote less populated areas) to preach and try to convert ppl.
Im not sure about the blonde hair hehe sorry. probably an awful coincidence. and window cleaners because, as i mentioned before, jws are expected to stay as separate from "the world" as possible. working in an office or similar would expose them to knowledge that might wake them up. It also earns a good wage without qualifications as jws are not supposed to get higher education. for the above reason...keeping them uneducated. And it means a jw can earn enough to get by and still spend hours preaching so they dont get shamed by the organisation

@MildlyAnnoyed & @BobblyBobbleHat I'm adding you to this question as its the same. regarding blood.
@GotMarriedInCornwall you have great insight. yes it is because jws have it drummed into them that taking blood could cost you eternal life. its an awful place to be...wanting your child to live but wanting them to live forever. and i know that sounds crazy to anyone outside of the brainwashing , but this is what I would love for ppl to see. how much torture jws go through. I know jws who have refused blood and died and its horrendous. and i know jws who have secretly had blood. Drs are prepared for these cases and will help jws out who want to secretly have blood. The whole reason is that once again there is a scripture that talks about not eating blood and they take it too far. I suspect its to do with seeming to be different and "clean" and it adds to whole narrative of being unique and therefore gods chosen ppl. I do not agree! im just aware now how much the leaders push the idea of being different.
Also many religions have some kind of idea around sacrifice in order to gain eternal life. think of suicide bombers and pilots. which is why more needs to be done to help ppl stuck in the jws. Its ppls lives at stake

thats lovely you get on with your jw neighbour. she probably is a nervous person as regards "preaching" and so hasnt tried to mention it. like i said in another reply....most jws hate the preaching work but are forced to do it
and most jws are nice ppl. they are just in a cult and dont know it

I’d just like to say that their modus operandi is this:
Uneducated congregations with people who largely work on a self employed basis as window cleaners and domestic cleaners or in low status jobs part time so that they can ‘witness’ for much of the week.

Men are in charge. ‘Elders’ who are all men are in charge of keeping their congregation in line with policy from the ‘Organisation’ who are based in America. No one questions who is actually running it or where the profits go.

Anything that doesn’t reflect well on the organisation will be hushed up and dealt with behind closed doors. Or the individuals concerned will be ex communicated or ‘disfellowshipped’. Families are encouraged to ignore their errant members .

Anything ‘worldly’ like pop music , fashion or tv programmes are discouraged. Women are expected to dress conservatively and show no flesh . Men wear suits when attending services. Sex before marriage is forbidden. Even being alone with a member of the opposite sex is frowned upon so it’s hard to really get to know a prospective partner. Any ‘dates’ should not be unchaperoned.

Nothing is a cause for celebration, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, nothing. Apart from weddings within the religion.

Divorce is frowned upon and actively discouraged. Women are told to respect their husbands as head of the household and considered secondary to men.

Any further education is seen as worldly and not to be encouraged. It’s a grim and dismal business. Recruits are increasingly from China, India and Africa , or refugees.

Hi Im not sure what dcs means sorry. i dont use mumsnet much as yall can probably tell! Im guessing its your kids. So jws arent supposed to mix with ppl outside the organisation. they are told that this is to protect them from "bad comapny"...ie: ppl who dont believe in god or follow the bible. but actually it is to keep them in the dark about the world and to create an us vs them narrative which benefits the leaders to keep ppl trapped in it. its classic abuse tactics (in my opinion)
oh and housing...jws arent told they cant own their own house exactly, many do, its more that they cant afford to get on the property market as they are always just scraping by as they have to spend so many hours preaching or at meetings and conventions or doing bible study. cult tactics. Also jws are constantly fed the story that this world is all temporary and they can have lovely houses in paradise on earth

yes its awful isnt it? were you a jw ever? or do you have family in?

yes its hard to be shunned. i never really fitted in great as a jw due to my issues with it but it was still all i ever knew. to be shunned is like death by a thousand cuts. you know you see this animal cruelty cases of horders? and youll get a group of dogs clinging to each other , terrified of the unknown world?...now imagine that group of dogs casts you out as well. So youre left to navigate your new situation without the only ppl who knew you and your background. its hard not to run back. especially if ppl are mean to you. my brainwashing still kicks in regularly.

i have seen EEBs yes. I both laughed and cried. its painful

EXACTLY!!! i dont know if you see my other reply about the door knocking, but i totally disagreed with it. its rude. ive tried to explain above why its forced on jws to do it. the leaders have realised more and more how ineffective it is these days hence the carts and letter writing. they need their members to keep on that hamster wheel of business within the cult so theyre too tired to think
Anyone who doesnt comply is hounded and shamed

you are so right. this was my issue growing up....I didnt see jesus actually being followed.
scriptures are cherry picked to back their agendas

In a nutshell because its part of the patriarchy. A wider issue of men dominating women. Although much more so than other christian denominations.
It stems from scriptures written by paul about women.
I am not an expert in theology, but i found an incredible woman who knows the scriptures inside out and helps debunk (as it were) all these views that belittle women. her name is Monte Mader . she is on all socials and has a website. she can explain so much better than me why fundamentalist christians treat women the way they do and what the bible actually has to say about the topic . she has deconstructed from high control religion and is an amazing soul doing much good to change the world

If only 40,000? people can go to heaven, isn’t it full already so why are they still knocking on doors recruiting?

great question. about fathers. mine was atrocious. was your father a jw?
I dont know sadly, do you have any thoughts as to why that might be?
I suspect as i replied to @ChurchWindows that its because they are given such a "high" position in the organisation, that it goes to their heads. fuels their worst parts of them. makes them feel powerful. what do you think?

The street witnessing and trolleys advertising jw.org is because the leaders realised door to door is not working so well. in other countries they have some success with carts and street witnessing so they make them all do it.
you are both right to notice its pointless and the ppl doing it dont really want to chat with anyone fear of confrontation....but they must or theyll be shamed for not doing it

they are taught that the rest of faithful humans will live on paradise earth
and the door knocking is a good way to keep members busy and exhausted so they dont have time to properly question their lives