What would you ask a Jehovah’s Witness if you could?

[BreakingCycles]

Hello I am doing a bit of personal research for my own curiosity.
I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness but managed to get out.
Because I was raised in it, my thinking has been shaped differently than people who were not. I am very curious what such people might think about jws.
So what have you always wondered about jws but felt you couldn’t ask?
Or what are / were your perceptions of them from what you’ve seen around you?
No question too small or silly.
I appreciate all perspectives with open curiosity.
thanks in advance to any who shares!

spot on. those of us who have escaped call it persecution porn. the leaders just love making it seem that its the only "safe" place to be. so when ppl are nasty on the doors to jws, it pushes them further into the cult sadly

Sounds difficult op. Im sorry you faced that. Hopefully youre in a better place now

Thank you. It has been extremely difficult. I wanted to end my life last year because of the hurt it has caused. It feels too much to bear a lot of the time. To have so many ppl hating me for my leaving. they say they don't hate me but it feels that way because they think what I've done is so awful. thankfully I've been in intensive therapy (and still am) for 6 years now and it helps me immensely. I will be okay I think :) this is all new for me and me asking ppl their views was a beginning of trying to make a change in the world as far as how ppl view cults and religion I guess.

I just want to say again, I'm sorry for being slow. mumsnet doesn't seem to work properly on my tablet and it kept crashing yesterday. I'm borrowing a laptop to catch up this evening but i am supposed to be writing an essay haha. so i will leave it for now. please do feel free to share your questions and views still. i absolutely will be reading and responding to them over the coming week. its much appreciated! thanks lovely ppl!

OP - You've put flowers on all my posts here. I wonder what your intention is?

"On Mumsnet, the "flowers" emoji (or sometimes a biscuit icon) often signifies support, kindness, or sympathy for another user, but it's also used sarcastically or as a placeholder for a "biscuit" (cookie) when someone is being deliberately inflammatory or "goady," revealing an underlying digital snack/cookie symbol within the site's interface. It's a nuanced signal: a literal flower means "I'm sending you virtual comfort,"

@BreakingCyclesthank you for coming back, sorry its been such a difficult time for you. Im really looking forward to hearing about your experience 😊

144,000

Me three.

Everything is designed to do this. It creates fear of the ‘world’ and people who aren’t ’in the Truth’ .

If only a certain number get into heaven, why are they telling people? I would be keeping that quiet!!

I’d ask them to watch several YouTube accounts, all ‘apostates’ obviously, who managed to escape but make content to analyse and commentate on current WT actions and doctrinal changes.

I feel terribly sad for the genuinely good Witnesses still wasting their lives on such an insular organisation that once you dig deep enough is not at all what it claims to be. Life in the World is far richer than simply existing in the Truth.

I had an interesting experience when some JWs knocked on the door. They've knocked a few times and never been anything other than polite. Sometimes leave me a leaflet etc. One time I opened the door but was still in PJs at midday or so. I apologised and explained I was ill. They asked me if I needed anything and offered to pop to the shop for me. I didn't need anything as it happens but was grateful for their kindness. I guess I'm wondering if that is a) normal or not and then b) genuine kindness or c) a way to ingratiate themselves?

I was brought up in a group with a lot of similarities with JWs. The specifics are different but I can relate so much to your posts. The exJW reddit board was a real help to me at times. Wishing you healing and freedom.

I'm sorry you have had such a difficult time OP.

I'd like to ask the Witnesses I see on the streets why they look so sad all the time?

And I'm also curious as to why they immediately disengage if asked if they'd like to pray. Is it seen as bad for them to pray with someone who is not a JW?

Do you think the religion has got more intense / cult esque in recent years?

As an example both my mum and my aunt married non witnesses in the 70's. My mum pretty much left the religion and certainly wasn't shunned by her family. My aunt however has got more and more involved and all her children have gone on to only marry witnesses and work within the ministry and it seems more cult like now to me than it did years ago.

Yes, they would. I have several colleagues who were A&E nurses & the hospital have been to court for this a number of times.

I thought it was because they are viewed as Gods “chosen people” if you like so their blood is pure where as the rest of us muggles are not. So they don’t want to mix with us

Haha, I can see Hagrid now "because we are not Pure Blood!!"

I think it has got more cult like. My mother has been one for most of her life and has become an absolute fanatic. She’s afraid to even let non JWs into her home now.

@GotMarriedInCornwalli knew a child who needed major spinal surgery. He had a court other in place if it was needed. Again so mum didn’t have to make the decision. It was also made clear that they wouldn’t let him die for want of a transfusion. It was ok in the end.

Why are you standing at my door expecting me to engage with you in a conversation about my beliefs, with ANY level of expectation that I might welcome that kind of intrusion into my day?

Then why would they be so obsessed about converting people. The JW were founded in late 1800s so it's not like they are an ethnic group, like Jews for example.

I think I'd ask why in their bible they have 'In the beginning was the word and the word was a god', but the greek has 'the word was god' - there's no indefinite article there. It changes the whole theology of how you see Jesus and God as one (or not).

And something that has bothered me for a long time..... a spot that the JW's stand in in our city, with their watchtowers..... right opposite (about ten metres away) is a spot frequented by homeless folk. Does standing there all day opposite the homeless people spur in them any sort of desire for social action, helping these people? Or do you do that sort of stuff behind the scenes anyway?

I'll try and get through as many of these as I can. starting at the beginning :)
because I'm short on time please excuse my lack of grammar and punctuation. I am not a strong typist haha
@Pommes yes as a child I hated missing out on things. Not so much xmas and birthdays which might sound odd but I knew no different. But i felt left out at school in respects of everyone talking about these things and me not being able to. socially i felt left out. i wasnt allowed to join assemblies because they sang hymns. i wasnt allowed to go on all the school trips because they meant being too close to people outside the cult. we were also poor so no chance of going on fancy trips like others did. left out of tv programmes others were allowed to watch.the list goes on and on.
As a child you feel left out, especially if, like my parents, they didnt make up for it with socialising WITHIN the cult much. my family was abusive on every level so I appreciate mine is a particularly negative view whilst some witnesses are "happy" in their lives.

As I grew up I just accepted things due to the weekly/daily brainwashing. You learn to doubt yourself. Much like any abusive relationship, if you are gaslit enough you question your own sanity and views.
Now, as an adult who has woken up from it finally, I realise how manipulative the cult is with things like Bdays and xmas etc.... they NEED to keep members separate from the "world" (as they call it) in order to create an "us vs them" mindset.
As an adult I dont really care that I didnt take part in a celebration.... i liken this to maybe saying to a British person..."dont you feel left out that you never celebrated Ramadan or similar?" Its just a tradition. What I am sad about is that because of these cultural differences I lost my extended family before i even grew up and got to know them. my parents family distanced themselves from my parents in disgust at them joining the JWs , instead of trying to kindly help them out. Because the cults plan of creating an us vs them narrative works! People get irate at jws and this fuels the hate and widens the gap.
I wish my grandparents had gained insight into cults so they could help us out. because you cant tell someone in a cult, that they are in fact, in a cult. thats the power of brainwashing.
Do you know one of the biggest things i missed out on that does bother me? i wasnt allowed to dress how i wanted...i am into goth styles....or get any tattoos.
haha, I know lots of people hate ink but i have had a craving for it since i was young. to adorn and decorate my body with art as humans have done for thousands of years. i felt naked and wrong without it. maybe its a part of being abused and wanting to reclaim my body? either way, i hated that they wouldnt let you. Again, because jws are meant to be different from the "world"

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon this is a topic a few ppl have asked about here. you are absolutely right to wonder why on earth they would do this. for me, it was always a HUGE issue i couldnt get past. I hate ppl knocking my door as im a nervous person, and i also saw jesus said "do to others as youd have done to yourself" so why make us knock?! I hated it. I totally disagreed with it. so i was always shamed for not doing it enough.
Its hard to explain briefly haha but I'll try. It helps to realise jws is a cult. there are a group of men at the top who have claimed to be gods spokemen. they use shame to get members to do most of the things they have to do.
JWs were "bigger" in the 1900s because in general ppl were more religious 100 even 50 years ago. Lots of ppl were christian , that was normal, but as ppl began to realise the church was lying about certain scriptures, they looked elsewhere for "truth".
in comes these off shoots of Christianity and really grow in number. part of their belief is that they must take the bible literally. there is a scripture that says jesus and his followers preached door to door...so the leaders make everyone knock doors. saying that if you dont you are not "spiritual " enough.
it also fuels the hate from outsiders (rightly) being annoyed at strangers knocking. which widens the gap, and benefits the cult in being able to say, look ppl outside are mean and not safe.
Like an abusive partner stops you seeing friends or family or creates drama so they can " save " you from it. Its all a cycle of abuse (in my opinion)
knocking doors and writing letters also keeps JWs busy. Life is busy enough yes! but again this is a cult tactic....if you keep members exhausted and distracted they cant use their thinking abilities to really question their day to day to life. its like trying to learn to swim whilst you are drowning.
Interestingly to back this theory... during the pandemic many many JWs woke up. because they had more free time , they questioned things, did research online and woke up from the brainwashing.