Confessions of your PFB moments, come on in - the water is an exactly perfect temperature!

[S1ur]

It has been a while since our last confessional.

I once took dd to a&e because she had a bruise.

A fairly small but hard bruise on her side.

I thought she had broken her ribs.

Forgive me

Now join in and let me catagorically state that this PFBness is open to ALL parents and ALL dc despite how many you have. Come on you know you've all done something cringeworthy in retrospect.

dd1 only ever wore white. when she was about 4 months old we visited friends and their 6 year old boy asked me why she was always dressed in white. I realised then that perhaps it was time to allow some colour.

I made a&e x-ray my pfb dd1s head after a bump and Would Not Leave until they had done so ...

DP once forgot to put the tongs in the steriliser, so that meant that we couldn't use them to get the bottle/teat/collar/lid out.

Made him re sterilise.

AND I said

ahem

'I kept him safe for 9 months, don't you dare put him in danger'

I used to work at a private day nursery pfb went there for a week (even tho id left long before)whilst i had ds2 also perfect .

2 years later dreadfully shortstaffed they sked me to 'help out'.

one mum came with her ds a big pfb and a huge list of instructions all plastic coated and everything was spotless and sterilised (she left 11 nappies per day assuming i would chnge him every hour on the hour and had a chart to see if hed weed or pooped in tht hour)now bearing in mind i was called in as favour and as a mum of 2 i had most experience this peturbed me as head of the baby room and after one morning being told he must not sleep longer than 20 mins after lunch (5 mins of which he was to be nursed) i vented my frustration at my manager .....ohhhhh says she ...fussy mother hmmm??? and produced 4 pages of A4 id written listing all the requirements of pfb and reminded me of the fact id made dh take a huge bottle of water every day s pfb didnt drink tap water,pfb didnt drink sugar drinks,pfb was not allowed crisps only finely sliced carrots and pfb ws to gently brush his teeth fter snack and lunch.........i crawled shamefaced away ......

haaaaahhaaa

'put him in danger'! hahahahahahahaaaa

My dd also wore white but also cream and beige I not that bad

i also demanded an emergency appointment at the dentist as pfb had cracked a back tooth i was yet again humiliated to see it wasnt half a broken tooth it was half a developing tooth.

The beauty of PFBness is in the shame afterwards.

Come forward and be cleansed

I took DS to the doc to check that his cough wasn't something more sinister, like aspirated dinner on his lungs (we'd had a bit of a fight about dinner and then he got the cough) - was told it as only a cough, lungs as clear as a bell.

'I kept him safe for 9 months, don't you dare put him in danger'

i still use that line 15 years later lolol in fact i said to ds1 i took the time to grow you for 9 months you could at least turn down your ipod '''you do know i grew your eardrums

I used to "spend quality time" with DS under his baby gym, gently patting at the dangling shapes. I was convinced if I took the time to enjoy a cup of coffee / read a magazine etc instead then I was a terrible mother not making the most of my baby.

I don't think he noticed that I was actually there with him and he certainly doesn't remember it now

Oh these are all lovely

They are lovely I agree, like I used to talk to my days old child non stop and point out interesting features of autumnal trees. Which is lvely though prob ott.

However, on a mor embarrassing note..

I also used to turn dd away from televisions while out in case the flickering pictures affected her brain development.

Slur- you really were deranged weren't you???

I cannot, honestly at all, truly recall anything to add to this thread. Honestly. Does that actually make me a very bad mother?

oh, apart from my utter dislike of the term in the first place...

i am a bad bad mummy my mantra always goes along the lines of:
she will fall off that table you are letting her dance on
and then she will learn that it is not a good idea to dance on side tables

problem is she never learns she has the fractured gum, chipped tooth and glued head to prove it. she is still alive and nearly in one piece. as is dd2 who i have a similar mantra with.

no pfb moments here [smug]

Oh well susie, some of us were occasionally a wee bit overly concerned and well, pfb!

But get thee gone if you have nowt to share this is a place of healing shame.

And I am not alone

The first time my mother looked after DS over night (he was maybe 6 months old) I typed out 8 pages of detailed notes on what to do and when (down to when to change a nappy and what time to wake him from his nap) The fact that my mother had had 4 babies of her own seemed to escape me
My SIL looked after DS for one day a week when I went back to work. I had a diary in which she had to write the details of his day so I could check it when I picked him up. I often used to ask more detailed questions too, as "Woke up from nap at 1.45, changed nappy, had bottle" didn't seem to satisfy me
I was a complete twonk about it all. My SIL was very gentle with me and only started taking the piss when she could see I was robust enough to take it
My sister wasn't as gentle and told me on a regular basis that I was a neurotic mother ... so I had a great amount of pleasure 3 years later when she told us all off for flushing the toilet during her PFB's naptime

Ach at you, well yes I could list my NSO moments but the list might break mumsnet I don't know how big their storage is! Mostly I was very relaxed and sensible and not pfb at all of course but even I had the odd moment.

Needless to say That would be a whole other thread (and probably one that would end up being reported to SS)

That's the spirit ghosty!

Thank you for not making any disparaging remarks or casting aspersions, Slur

Arf at you!

The only PFB thing I can remember did was to always put DD in vests. I remember in the summer, when she was about 7 or 8 months, scouring the shops for vests with pretty pictures on so if it was hot I could take her T-shirt off and she'd still look pretty. It never even occurred to me that I could put her in just a T-shirt with no vest underneath!

I think I'd read the stuff about dressing newborns in vests and somehow decided that it was in the Baby Rules that they must always wear a vest, perhaps to stop the nappy from spontaneously falling off.

I thought I didn't do anything too mad. Then, when clearing out boxes of old stuff to move house, I found that I'd kept a diary of everything DD ate for the first few months after she was weaned. I'd recorded exactly how many spoonfuls she ate, what it was and what time she ate it

That is soooo not like me. Honestly.

My PFB madness is now starkly in contrast to how she has turned out..... getting pissed many times a week on blue WKD and living off junk food!

Why do we bother.

ooohhh i have thought of one. but twas with dd2 does it still count?

we had took her out shopping when she was about two months old. my docs was right near the town center. dd2 was promptly rushed to the doctors with suspected meningitis. the doctor advised taking off her cardigan and the heat rash would dissapear! this was in the middle of summer and i had already been told off earlier that week for over dressing her when she had fever. she was ill. she needed to be wrapped up!!!