Confessions of your PFB moments, come on in - the water is an exactly perfect temperature!

[S1ur]

It has been a while since our last confessional.

I once took dd to a&e because she had a bruise.

A fairly small but hard bruise on her side.

I thought she had broken her ribs.

Forgive me

Now join in and let me catagorically state that this PFBness is open to ALL parents and ALL dc despite how many you have. Come on you know you've all done something cringeworthy in retrospect.

Someone I know (not me honest!) made everyone who entered her house rub anti bac spray on their hands. It did not matter if they touched the baby or not.

i started using baby wipes instead of cotton wool and water after a few months but didnt tell dh and let him carry on for ages with water and cotton wool as i felt guilty at using wipes!

i didnt take pfb to a wedding when 3 weeks old as strangers would touch him with germs! also because he would steal the show and bride wouldnt get attention!

i also put 4 balnkets on him when taking him out in pram - he was born in july!!!!

he was premmie though so that is my excuse!

I've been hoping one of these threads would come up so I can cleanse myself of the following:

When my PFB was little I used to do a Pramercise class (a load of neurotic mothers of PFBs charging aroung the park pushing their enormous prams, occasionally stopping to do bench presses and sit ups, and paying £3.50 for the priviledge). That in itself is mildly embarrassing, but here's the really frightening bit: I used to dress 2 month old dd in sportswear to do it.

Yes, I would be sagging around the park in my ratty old trainers and one of dps t-shirts, while dd slept through the whole thing in her pale pink tracksuit from The White Company.

lol BS

pmsl BS

oh lordy broccoli - that made me laugh.

i dont have a single PFB moment, and i feel terrible. And once i took her out in her pushchair at xmas when she was only 3mths old, and this couple had to come up to me in the street and say "i think your baby needs a blanket or a coat on her".
She was freezing her little tits off and she didnt even have a coat on.

I was completely paranaoid about DS getting too hot. He had to go back to hospital for a blood test on the hottest day of the (measly English) summer so I dressed him in just a vest and nappy. No hat, no socks, no mitts, no covers. My Mum was freaking out as he was barely 24 hours old and I got a right bollocking from the staff

Precious First Born

Love the image of the baby in her sports gear

I can't share any embarrassments of my own yet (as my own PFB not due till December) but my mother was (and still is) totally neurotic about my brother, who ironically being 9 yrs younger than me was not even her first born. I vividly remember when he was a baby that anyone who wished to touch or hold the precious little bundle would be sent to THROUGHLY WASH THEIR HANDS first.

Years later as a strapping 18 yr old he broke his arm. He was actually not allowed to leave the house OR HAVE A SHOWER (in case it damaged the plaster) for about 6 weeks afterwards (fortunately this was during the summer holidays). My Mum phoned me one day, slightly hysterical, going "BUT WHAT IF IT NEVER HEALS?!!!" Me and DH still piss ourselves at the image of my brother walking around for the rest of his life with a floppy arm which never healed.

I could go on... On the other hand when I broke my arm my mum thought I was just making a fuss and wouldn't even take me to A&E until I was still in agony a day later!

this thread is hilarious

Or Baby or something

Colditz! You made me spill my tea laughing.

I didn't really do anything like this. I did poke Dd to check she was still alive, when DH told me to stop doing it because it was disturbing her sleep, I stopped.

Instead I used to hold a mirror under her nose to see if she steamed it up .

DH made me stop doing that to.

badkitty, that is a different neurosis, I think - perhaps it should have a different name - precious son and heir maybe?

Oh I've just answered a question from days ago, I missed a page .

Oh, I've got another one, but rather shamefully it is a PFD (precious first daughter) if that term even exists - I used to love to dress her up in lovely outfits, BUT I do remember visiting various friends who had just had baby boys, and dressing her in blues and browns, so that they DIDN'T FEEL BAD about having had a boy!!!

I am shocked thinking back - my first baby was a boy, and I LOVE boy babies!

I also remember having hysterics down the phone to a rather bemused friend (he is a consultant, so not easily worried about health things) - he phoned up to see how things were going with ds1 - you know, general little chat, 'how are things, congratulations' and I ended up crying down the phone 'he hasn't done a poo yet....'

PMSL @BS and the sports outfit

When I looked round the nursery I asked if it was safe to keep the toys on shelves and if the shelves were properly mounted because I thought a toy might fall on my pfb's head

But at least the snurking look one of the staff gave me brought me to my senses and saved me from too much further pfb-ness in relation to nursery. I hope...

I didn't have many PFB moments - or at leas tnone I can think of. My mum on theother hand had severe PFBG syndrome.
I think that's why I was quite laid back, she was neurotic enough for both of us. it started when I was pregnant. it was my birthday, and we had gone out to a Chinese place in Forres. We got back about 11, did 1471 on teh phone, and mums number was listed as ahving called at 10.50. It didn't list the 23 other calls she had made though. Anyway I decided not to call her back, and went to bed. We got woken at about 6.30/7am by 2 of Dh's colleagues. She had called the RAF base where he worked, and spoke to his boss and demanded that someone be sent round to our house as something was very wrong. DH was furious beyond belief. Anyway, I called her at 8am, and she said
"I tried calling loads of times last night and there was no answer, I thought you ahd gone into labour"
me - "No we were at the Chinese"
Her- "Chinese? What on earth do you think you're doing eating chinese food"
Me "I was hungry"
Her - "don't you know you're pregnant(like I was going to forget) you shouldn't be eating chinese food, it's not safe"
Me " yes it is"
Her "No it's not2 - this went on for a while until eventually I lost it and objected to being told I was doing harm to her unborn grandhcild.
"What the hell do you think pregnant women in China eat? Steak pie and chips"
It was a sign of things to come

I too spent precious hours of maternity leave washing and ironing pure white (organic, natch) babygros. Now I am lucky if my DTs clothes even make it back from the dryer into their drawers...

And yep, recorded every feed, wee, poo (burp, fart, dribble etc etc) for the first couple of months. The shame - not to mention tedium but it was sooooo important at the time, of course.

But my worst habit was my absolute REFUSAL to let anyone else swaddle my DTs as they just wouldn't be able to use the (blatantly obvious) swaddle-eaze blanket and my precious babies would not sleep a wink if they were not securely fastened in their banana suit straight-jackets (as everyone else called them).

Saltire I have a friend rather like this. She adminished me for eating spicy food (er, what about my own Pakistani ancestors), pizza (?) and most curious of all - sparkling water! I wonder what she (a fellow biologist) thought the bubbles would do exactly??

admonished, even

I used to strap my dd1 into the swing with reins.

Not very PFB with my son (10 weeks so still plenty of time) however very PFB over my first new sofa (cream and 11 weeks) which no-one is allowed to sit on
1)whilst holding DS incase he is sick on it or his nappy leaks
2)whilst drinking red wine
3)whilst eating something that if dropped could stain
I am having a party on Saturday and currently agonising over whether it would be too OTT to cover it with a blanket..

Current favourite story on here is Johnsons baby shampoo.