Confessions of your PFB moments, come on in - the water is an exactly perfect temperature!

[S1ur]

It has been a while since our last confessional.

I once took dd to a&e because she had a bruise.

A fairly small but hard bruise on her side.

I thought she had broken her ribs.

Forgive me

Now join in and let me catagorically state that this PFBness is open to ALL parents and ALL dc despite how many you have. Come on you know you've all done something cringeworthy in retrospect.

DS#1 went to A&E for a split lip (he banged it on the high chair leg. before anyone thinks I was bashing him about!)

I wouldn't leave the room without him for about a month - even if he was sleeping I'd want to pick him up and carry him with me when i went for a wee

Trying to find salt-free tomato puree to mix with boiled lentils for baby food. The lady in H&B smiled sympathetically when I told her my problem inspite of the fact that she must have thought I was a total loon.

Have to say I think that's about it. Was never very PFB. Will admit to to judging other mothers a bit for being 'careless' with their children. Makes me roffle now.....

Have done the prodding baby to make sure they are still breathing, still do it to dc3 (who is 8 months)

Loved the rubbing shampoo into own eyes.

Laughed at the moses basket handle but someone who works in nhs direct, told me a man phoned her because that happened when baby was in basket. Maybe shouldn't tell a story like that on this thread . Thanks goodness I will never be back at the moses basket stage again.

Have done the prodding baby to make sure they are still breathing, still do it to dc3 (who is 8 months)

Loved the rubbing shampoo into own eyes.

Laughed at the moses basket handle but someone who works in nhs direct, told me a man phoned her because that happened when baby was in basket. Maybe shouldn't tell a story like that on this thread . Thanks goodness I will never be back at the moses basket stage again.

This thread has officially won the 'best and funniest thread of Mumsnet' ever. Thank you, ladies. I have found myself over and over again here. Thanks to OP!

love the shampoo in eyes!

ex MIL and FIL took my pfb out for a walk when he was a few weeks old so i could have a rest.........i couldn't bear it and followed them, secret agent like, for about 2 miles around the streets.

I did so many of these.

Crying when I cut her finger whilst cutting her nails,
Feeling sure that all the other mums in the labour ward would think my baby was the prettiest luckily I didnt share that thought with anyone!
Changing the whole outfit for the slightest reason.

I'm much better now though

When DS1 was c. 3 months I left him with my Dad so I could get my haircut. I left dad with a screaming baby (on the basis I couldn't get him calm and dad couldn't do any worse )

I got back to complete peace Dad watching the cricket and DS1 sleeping soundly. Was I pleased? Oh no ! Dad hadn't woken him for his bottle and now his routine was RUINED

I also phoned DH at work because DS1 had an eyelash poking him in the eye.

I was obsessed with temperature too and always measuring the room temperature and bath temperature. I also felt that as a baby he needed alot of entertainment. My brother who had two older children said that I should read or watch a video when he was a baby as he wouldn't notice and I was shocked when he said I should just turn him to face the window to watch outside.

this is hilarious and i am guilty of LOTS of this, as well as religiously washing DD's clothes separately for several months (because the supernanny book told me to)

and once having a blazing row with DH because he had a slight cold when DD was a few weeks old and i refused to let him even touch her, let alone hold her after he'd come in from a day at work . he did hold her, of course, and she's here to tell the tale...

When I boiled the kettle to make bottles, if dh had reboiled it by accident I couldn't use that water and would have to start again.
Not to mention the 40 min wait after the kettle boiled.

I used to spend full days in the kitchen too making up purees.

My favourite PFB story comes from one of my best friends. Both her and her DH would get up together to change their DD's nappy several times in the night, not only cleaning her with boiled water and cotton wool but then gently blow drying her bum with the hairdryer. She was chatting to her neighbour and asked if they were ever disturbed by DD's crying, the neighbour assured her they were not but that they had been woken once or twice by what sounded like a hairdryer.

meghalegs, that is hilarious!

No-one was allowed a hot drink in our flat until the PFB was six months old in case it got spilt on him. So we had cold water for breakfast and visitors, if lucky, got juice.

I have to add that the handles on our Moses basket slipped out of DH's hands at the top of the stairs when ds2 was three days old. He seemed OK so we didn't take him to A and E because I was convinced they'd think I'd done it on purpose and take him away.

I arrived to pick up dd from her first full day at nursery, to find her sitting by herself, chewing on something.

Cue me, five minutes later, hysterically crying and complaining to the nursery owner through snot and tears, 'she was chewing on a, a leaf'.

I was beside myself. You would have thought I'd caught her shooting up in the corner.

I also took her to A&E once after she did a black poo, which I then googled and decided she must be bleeding from her intestines. Later that evening, my poor grandad confessed he's given her a blackcurrant tart the day before.

I don't know if this counts but...

PFB is now 4mo and anytime anyone talks to me about weaning my boobs start leaking

During the heatwave in 2006 I took dd1 to the doctors because she was hot and had a rash, that would be a heat rash then...

Ah yes, I remember we phoned the midwife on day 4 or 5 because our dd1's poo had changed colour and we insisted someone come out and investigate!!
I also remember many, many rows when we finally moved to formula and I insisted dp used the flat side of a knife to wipe off excess formula from measuring spoon as that is what instructions said. I can still hear me screetching 'use the knife' as he went to swipe it off with his finger!
We are now on dd3, who is 4 months, and I regularly take one of her soft toys out of the dog's mouth and hand it to her !!

Our first night when we brought DS1 home, I tried to BF until about 1.00 in the morning and then realised that my milk hadn't come in. DS was screaming so DH and I were trying to work out how to use the steamer, waited until it had steamed 6 bottles, boiled the water, waited until it cooled (DS still screaming at this point, me and dh screaming at each other). Why we didn't just pour some boiling water over the bottle I don't know !

The second night I distinctly remember worrying because the room temperature was 1 degree over what it should have been so i had the window open, waving a pillow round trying to bring it down and then getting wound up incase i had given DS cold.

Third night (or could have been the fourth) we went to AE because DS kept screaming and we couldn't get him to stop. We sat for hours waiting, even though woman sitting opposite took one look and said, Colic. Of course it was.

Reading these 120+ threads it doesn't seem to bad though ......

My inlaws came to stay with their 8mth old, he fell asleep so we suggested they put him in DD's cot (she was 2mths at the time and wide awake). Their response, 'OMG, we cant let him sleep on a used mattress'.

A friend of mine came to see me with her child and declared ahppily... "my child is less likely to get cancer than yours as she only eats organic food". Her other classic was 'you are really hampering her speech and language development by not talking and singing to her constantly'.

I was also overly concerned about the temperature in DD's room and kept the chart that came with the gro-bag!

With both of mine I took careful notes of every gift they recieved.

I then spent hours carefully dressing them in each outfit/ posed them next to the stuffed toy or whatever and took a photo, then had the photos printed and made them into thankyou cards, with an ink footprint on the inside.

My great aunt called to say thankyou, it was very lovey but she hoped I was getting enough rest. lol.

I had to do it for both as it would have been unfair to only do it for one.

my sister did/does that too - except now they are older she is less bothered about having the present in the photo

If I was out shopping and needed milk to be warmed, I was horrified if anyone tried to warm it in a microwave. Didn't they know about hot spots? Didn't I know how to shake a bottle and leave it stand for a minute? I did by the time dd2 was born

hilarious tdwp, ha ha ha