Stand off about a crop top

[StarDolphins]

My 8 year old DD has a school disco tomorrow. She would like to wear shiny Nike leggings & a sport type crop top as this would make her feel nice, it’s her style & her 2 friends are wearing crop tops (to me this looks like a bra & I only bought it for her to wear in the house). She says d she will look like a baby if I dress her & everyone will laugh.

It just doesn’t sit right with me, think it’s in appropriate & don’t like tight skirts, bikini is or crop tops at all on kids. It’s just my preference.

I told her she can wear it under a zipped up Hazmat🤣 this wasn’t received well so I said denim jacket.

I really want her to feel nice but I want her to wear it really.

WWYD?

Hmm, yes o get what you’re saying & I would love her to wear a lovely dungaree set…or maybe a nice romper🤣

I get the whole wanting to fit in & be exactly the same at this age, I really do.

I am on tombola so will be able to see🤣

My dd has this crop top and leggings set and all her friends have similar. Really can’t see what’s inappropriate about it at all. I wore crop tops like this and cycling shorts to play out most summer days in primary school because they were comfortable and kept me cool

My mum was the same. I was always forced to wear different stuff (docs, which I hated)

It’s perfectly fine by me. Crop tops are all the rage. It’s the school disco. What exactly is the issue?

She’s asked for 6 months & eventually bought it on the condition that it was for inside dancing & never for outside. She wears it multiple times per week at home so works fine.

Crop tops are currently fashionable.

To be honest I'd be a lot less bothered about them at eight than I would when they are a teen.

By the time she's a teen something else will be in fashion which you will also hate.

This isn't the hill to die on.

Plus she must already own it, which means you probably bought it so 💁🏼‍♀️

There are crop tops and there are 'crop tops'. Is it a longer one which comes down to the bottom of her rib cage and just shows belly button and a little bit of skin or is it one of the ones that's not much more than a boob cage? A longer one and I'd probably not worry, but not sure that I'd like a DD of mine out in a teeny tiny one.

I think it’d because they look like bras!

I wouldn't allow it for my 8 year old

I'm surprised. All the schools I've worked at have banned these sports bra type tops. At sports day and so on. Surprised they're allowed at a disco at all.

A crop top that shows a flash of belly button is not the same as one of these bralettes.

I would let her wear it. She's old enough to have some agency over what she wears and it's not always going to be what you would choose. A bare midriff on a pre-pubescent child isn't a big enough deal to be worth undermining her developing self-image and her tribal bond with her friends, imo. Those are much more important than whether or not school staff, parents and other kids can see her belly button.

If you don't want her to wear crop tops, don't buy her crop tops!

No it’s a tiny short one😱

Thank you! I do totally get (& agree) with all you’ve said. She just wants to fit in & wear what her friends are wearing.

We’re going to go up & choose something together & both compromise!

Wait until she decides to become a goth! Do girls do that nowadays? I'll be disappointed if not as I'm looking forward to sharing it with DDs.
You can get crop tops that are slightly longer than teeny tiny dance ones. We compromise on that as my 9 year old has a bit of a tummy, like lots of little girls do, and frankly looks ridiculous in a crop top.

I know its silly having to 'work' with a pre teen like this but my mother dressed me really old fashioned and I used to be laughed at. When I was 11, she sent me to the year 7 disco in a calf length demin skirt and a pink t shirt. I looked like an out of place fundamentalist Christian. I don't think OP would go that far, but these things can lead to resentment.

My 8 year old has a sporty crop top she likes to wear with leggings and trainers. I'd keep her in the appliqué Boden dresses until she's 18 if I could but it's not the hill I'm prepared to die on.

They haven’t said anything at all but this is the most unorganised school! I wuu it sh they would ban lots of things.

They said at the start of the year we could only send healthy snacks. Great, I thought! Sent her with an apple & by day 8 she was the only one with fruit & now it’s a free for all!

Is there time to go out and buy her a new, slightly longer crop top? Get her to choose one, and try not to wince if it's covered in sequins - but then you can guide her to something that's maybe not quite so Legs & Co (showing my age there...)

Sports type crop top as in a sports bra? I didn't need a bra until the middle of Year 6. Tell her it's for exercising in only. A slightly cropped t-shirt might be a good compromise. I think it's weird when little girls walk around in bras and tight shorts or leggings.

Wait a second - you've said she can wear it for indoor dancing?

Isn't the school disco dancing? Indoors?

I think you need to give her clearer messages!

@masomenos

Good point 😬😬

I can understand where you're coming from OP, but I wore a belly top, short little ra-ra skirt and stripey over-the-knee socks to a school disco in 1986 when I was 8. So I'd probably let her.

I agree with you. Fine for gymnastics but I don't let my 8 year old wear crop tops out and about....