Stand off about a crop top

[StarDolphins]

My 8 year old DD has a school disco tomorrow. She would like to wear shiny Nike leggings & a sport type crop top as this would make her feel nice, it’s her style & her 2 friends are wearing crop tops (to me this looks like a bra & I only bought it for her to wear in the house). She says d she will look like a baby if I dress her & everyone will laugh.

It just doesn’t sit right with me, think it’s in appropriate & don’t like tight skirts, bikini is or crop tops at all on kids. It’s just my preference.

I told her she can wear it under a zipped up Hazmat🤣 this wasn’t received well so I said denim jacket.

I really want her to feel nice but I want her to wear it really.

WWYD?

Scratch that, just saw the pic and that isn't a top! Wasn't there a woman who got kicked off a plane recently for refusing to cover up while wearing basically that. Same top but for adults? Could you look at the fashion trend of hacked up boxy t-shirts and suggest she wears that underneath and then help her make her own more appropriate crop top?

I was all YABU until I saw the photo, but it actually is underwear.
Can you get next day delivery of a different crop top that isn't underwear?

I have no idea why you quoted me, but in any event, I don’t agree with what you’re saying.

We were at a circus the other day and there were 2 nine year old ish girls in tight leggings and crop tops. It’s easy for me to say I wouldn’t want my young daughter showing her tummy like that but I know it’ll be hard when she gets old enough to want to choose her own clothing.

When I posted earlier to say that I was surprised the school were allowing this because every school I work in had banned these tops, I knew exactly what kind of top OP was talking about.

It's just not on for 8 year old girls to be wearing these.

To the PP who said "oh why don't we police what boys wear..."

I hate this argument. Boys aren't going around in bra tops. Girls' clothing is more likely to show too much skin. You don't need to police boys' shorts and tops whereas girls will often want to wear tops like the OP has posted, or little hot pants.

Tbh I wouldn't call that a crop top though that's more like a sports bra

We looked on the internet & sge doesnt like the ones I’m prepared to get her! Too boring & babyish!

BUT…We’ve sorted it!! She’s wearing a lovely pale pink & white polka dot dress & some pale lilac leather converse. Shes chosen a lovely bag & I’ve agreed to some ELF lip
oil as a compromise! it was a hard debate but she understood & I explained my reasons why & said she could choose any dress/shoes/bag.

Thanks all!

You lost this battle when you bought it for her. It is a bit like buying her a chocolate bar and then criticising her for eating it as it is unhealthy.

Thank you! THe leggings were high waisted but still, it just looked ridiculous like she was wearing a bra & as much as I try to let her make her own decisions, I just couldn’t this time.

She’ll quite often choose something really summery with something you’d wear for skiing but I just let it go!

I wouldn’t buy a child something that ‘they can only wear at home’.
It was never going to be just for home (or you opened yourself to many battles).

She is 8yo. I’d let her go with the crop top.
But if you think they really are an issue, don’t buy some more!

Btw well done finding a compromise with her!

How is it different to wearing swim wear at the beach or pool? I think if you bought it her and all her friends are wearing them I would be let her wear it. I know she has agreed on another outfit but you do risk being the parent of a preteen who changes in the bushes every time she goes out alone to meet her friends.

^^We looked on the internet & sge doesnt like the ones I’m prepared to get her! Too boring & babyish!

BUT…We’ve sorted it!! She’s wearing a lovely pale pink & white polka dot dress & some pale lilac leather converse. Shes chosen a lovely bag & I’ve agreed to some ELF lip
oil as a compromise! it was a hard debate but she understood & I explained my reasons why & said she could choose any dress/shoes/bag.^^

Fabulous- if she's this bothered at 8yo about what she wears, you're in for an interesting next 10 years. I wish you luck on coming to many more compromises.

Because she's not going to the pool.

Would you wear a bikini to work? Or a bra to the shops?

And also... she's 8!

That’s definitely just a bra! Stand your ground OP - crop tops are acceptable but you can’t just let her walk around in underwear. She’ll see the pictures in a few years time and regret it..!

Edit: Oops, sorry, just seen update. Glad that you’ve both found a solution. Hope that she enjoys her disco!

She has loads of stuff she can only wear at home - a big bright pink feather boa, a massive netted skirt with a hoop, nurse outfit, tap shoes, loads of dress up, some old outrageous irregular choice shoes & this was just another thing she had for home. I was, and still am, glad I got it her for this reason. She’s had a lot of joy from it.

In the end, the only one she wanted to wear was one that we’d been given that was literally like a bra so it just had to be no.

She was great at understanding & compromising and I was too. I’ve said we’ll go shopping for one that is more appropriate but that she likes & is able to wear outside.

All sorted now, thanks all.

thank you, I said exactly this to her & I know she’d have felt conscious instead of nice.

So you would allow your daughter of 8 to wear a bikini top to a school discos 😳

Not sure why pp keep saying don't buy clothes she can only wear at home isn't that what PJs are we don't wear them outside and she's old enough to know some things are for inside only like underwear...

@ConfusedConfuse my 12yo dd is autistic, has no friends and prefers to dress conservatively. I think there is value in fitting in if you are lucky enough to have a crowd all dressing the same. How do you explain the fact the other mums are letting their dds dress this way?

Honestly, mostly she does get to choose her outfits. I might (secretly) think they’re absolutely awful🤣but she’s finding her place so if she wants to wear neon green polka dot flares & odd socks, I let her but the crop top she wanted was literally like a bra!

This sounds fab!

I am not a fan of crop tops (although I confess I have one for the gym in summer), but I would rather she is into them at 8 rather than 15 (when boys are involved and she actually has something to put in one!) Hopefully this trend will have died a death by the time she is a teenager.
FWIW I am loving the new long skirt/dress look that is now in. My younger nieces see me wearing them and they want one too haha rather than short miniskirts

I have a few stock answers..

1. that’s fine, but you’re not
2. that’s up to xxx’s mum, but you can’t
3. Everyone’s different & They might not be allowed other things that you’re allowed

My 7 year old is also obsessed with crop tops. She has a proper sports one which she is only allowed to wear for sports and some slightly cropped T-shirts that she can wear as normal wear. Having said that, the one in the picture is a bralet. I wouldn’t let my child wear that out of the house. Glad you have managed to come to a compromise though

I agree & I really hope it will be a different trend too! Fingers crossed! I love long dresses too!

If my DD dressed me, I’d end up with a bra, hot pants & some long boots🤣