Stand off about a crop top

[StarDolphins]

My 8 year old DD has a school disco tomorrow. She would like to wear shiny Nike leggings & a sport type crop top as this would make her feel nice, it’s her style & her 2 friends are wearing crop tops (to me this looks like a bra & I only bought it for her to wear in the house). She says d she will look like a baby if I dress her & everyone will laugh.

It just doesn’t sit right with me, think it’s in appropriate & don’t like tight skirts, bikini is or crop tops at all on kids. It’s just my preference.

I told her she can wear it under a zipped up Hazmat🤣 this wasn’t received well so I said denim jacket.

I really want her to feel nice but I want her to wear it really.

WWYD?

I wore similar (as did my friends) when I was 9/10 and the Spice Girls were all the rage

If I had a daughter I would let her wear what she wanted because I was never allowed until I left home.
But I had boys the stage of well boxers on show and jeans down to their ankles sort of look.
Went though the stage of tight tank tops and joggers.
and the big puffer jacket faze.

We are now at a stage were they dress normal.
All kids like to keep up with others I couldn't do it so I dame well made sure my two didn't miss it.
Mind you I have some cracking photos lol.
One time one of mine would not were anything unless it had moshi monster on it that was a fun 6 months lol.

a disco full of others & the journey there is completely different to being at home where only I am there!

You've bought her the top, so you can't really expect her not to want to wear it BUT I would compromise by taking her shopping and buying a top you both agree on. She's 8. If you give in now, you'll be buying heels false lashes by the time she's 12. Some people are fine with that. Only you know if you are.

I just don’t t have time, it’s tomorrow😩 we’re upstairs ‘compromising’ & she’s still adamant she wants to wear it, I’ve said it looks like a bra & she said it looks lovely!

I’ve asked her to put a denim shacket over & she said ok but if it gets hot, she’ll have to take it off!

My girls are 7 and 8 and have free control over their wardrobes and how they put their outfits together, they pick all their outfits and then I make them delete their least favourite if I cant afford it all. I can see from an 8 yo point of view its unfair to buy her a top that you wont let her wear. My daughters both love crop tops and live in these kind of outfits.

I’m not fine with it at all. At the same time, I don’t want to make her feel like I’m making her be different from her peers, which at this age is important. I go on about being unique enough. She has some slightly cropped (no skin!) boxy gorgeous tees already but she’s not interested in these these one bit!😩

No from me but I wouldn't have bought it in the first place, don't buy anything you wouldn't want them wearing out the house, I learned that a long time ago (even with sons!)

I took the attitude that I wasn’t going to tell her what was not modest enough unless it actually showed parts of the body that are not supposed to be on display. I said no to a top that was too big and fell down showing developing breast and said that the age 5 shorts she had squeezed into were smaller than pants and therefor not appropriate in public.

When I wasn’t telling her what she was allowed to feel
comfortable in she quickly found her own desire to not feel over exposed.
She was given an incredibly figure hugging dress that covers everything it should but is definitely too sexy for a preteen.
I suggested she wear it with something over the top to give a bit more coverage but ultimately she felt too exposed in it and chose to put it away for later.

In your shoes I would find or make a cropped t shirt to go over the sports bra style crop top and let her make her own decision at the school if she feels comfortable taking it off.

If you’re on tombola you are presumably travelling there and back as well as supervising the whole time… what exactly do you think is going to happen… they’re going to see shoulders and belly…

I'd let her wear it.

Btw I have a 16yo DD and we have a really good, close relationship. That's more important to me than what she chooses to wear.

This I would be ok with as it’s longer & it looks like a child’s crop top! The one she’s chosen is much shorter like a bra (this is a pass me down from her friend so it’s also a bit big for her which is slightly better I guess) . But still, looks like a bra to me!

Wow surprised the school would allow that! Thankfully don't think my kids school would to me that's a top you wear UNDER clothes..

Isn't that literally underwear? I assumed you just meant a cropped T-shirt!

Of course she'll say it's lovely, but it's not appropriate for a little girl to wear a bra as normal clothing. A slightly cropped top is fine, but a bra top isn't. The jacket will instantly come off. If she refuses to wear a different top then tell her she can't go to the disco. She's 8, not 16.

And to me! The school literally let everyone do what they want at these discos. Make-up, shoes with heels, crop tops etc.

Hilarious!
Encouraging girls to wear clothing designed to reveal as much of their body as possible anywhere but a beach or swimming pool is grim.

I don't like them but I was also wearing them at about 11. I'd probably let it go.

Slightly cropped Tee I would be ok with but I agree it looks like underwear!

Let her wear it, its a school.disco.

Call her bluff and tell she can only wear it if she only wears knickers with it, I'm joking obviously, but I've never seen anyone out in anything like that, that's not a gym style cropped top, it's an under T-shirt cropped top for newly developing breasts. Don't get drawn into an argument about it, you wouldn't let her wear knickers, don't let her wear that!

That’s actual underwear. She’s a child, you’re her parent - it’s a hard no.

Have you actually seen the picture? I'm surprised people would allow their kids to wear underwear in public disco or no discos

Weird how girls are the ones needing to watch what they wear is ‘appropriate’ and potentially ‘too sexy’ or ‘for older females only’.

The problem is with society. Not the girls and their crop tops.

My almost 8yo is also obsessed with crop tops but I hate them on kids! Unfortunately I've always said they get a say over their body, whether that's about giving people hugs or choosing their clothes or hair styles so I can't really say no but the compromise is she has to have high waisted trousers or skirt on with them and she's happy with that. I think forbidding them will just make her stick her heels in tighter. Good luck!

Weird how girls are the ones needing to watch what they wear is ‘appropriate’ and potentially ‘too sexy’ or ‘for older females only’.

The issue is it's underwear; have you seen the item? I wouldn't let my sons go out in boxers or pants instead of shorts, not because of "exposed legs" but because they're underwear!