Why do parents give themselves so much hassle.....I'm talking ' bedtimes'..

[mozhe]

.....my neighbour has been up and down our stairs,( they are staying chez mozhe as new windows being put in...),for the best part of 4 hours !!! Trying to settle her 4 DCs,( aged 5 months- 9yrs ).She says it's like this every night.....
The mozhe DCs go to bed when they are tired...it varies a bit from night to night but generally about 10.30/11pm...the whole tribe is asleep within 5 mins !!They have all been allowed to develop their own preferences/habits as to where/when/how they fall asleep...surely this is commonsense ?

Lucky you.

Er it isn't common sense to me to have my kids having no bedtime routine tbh, besides which, evening time is my time, so my 2 dc are in bed for 8pm every night, i have no messing as i make sure they are tired....my dd (3yo) has no nap in daytime and my ds (10mth) doesn't have a nap after 2pm.

Don't agree at all with children staying up to all hours.

Don't agree with spending hours to settle children either.

When my DCs were little they were in bed by 7.30 and fell asleep straight away. 10.20/11pm is far too late for littlies.

Yes, Mozhe, you are exactly right in all you do and say.

That's what you wanted, right?

no. common sense to me is to get your kids a regular bedtime, not have things like tv;s in the room to keep them awake, not give them owt sugary before bed, and stick them in bed for 7pm giving yourself the evening instead of kids all evening long.

and if kids wake up they may as well go back tosleep becuase bedroom is boring and mum willplainly not interact with them and give them much craved attention - if you want a drink youshould of had one earlier - no kisses, no loves, no belly ache, no no no. sleep.

10.30/11pm??

What age are they?

My kids are 5.6 & 3.6 & are in bed almost every night by 7pm.

Kids need routine at bedtimes. It isn't common sense [or any kind of sense at all imo] to let kids fall asleep where & how they like

They DO have a routine,( hey it isn't a free for all in the mozhe household...),but it is one they have individually developed.
I personally like them going to bed later as I work fulltime, so it gives me time to spend with them in the evenings...We have a meal en famille, and do activities,( like swimming, cycling, shopping...), then too.
The youngest 2,( DTs aged one ), sleep 2-3.5 hours in pm...DS3 and DS2 sleep in pms too...and DS1,has a nap when he comes home from school at 5pm,( only 20-30mins but it seemsto be his natural pattern )...
They are all 6 and under.
Why so hostile 'welovehunker...'? Am genuinely interested
We live in France too...the siesta reigns..!

Then perhaps if your neighbours children have siestas in the afternoon they are not ready for sleep when their mum puts them down?

She is very keen on 'free' evenings,( tho' she like me works fulltime too ), and I think they do sleep in pm....It seems like torture to me,( for her and them..)...loads of shrieking/running up and down stairs/fetching drinks etc etc....\too much like hard work.

Message withdrawn

All children need a bedtime routine. If a child is needing to sleep for up to 3 hrs in the afternoon, then surely that would be because they are in bed too late the previous evening
I can't understand anyone wanting to keep their children up to that time at night ...sounds kind of odd to me?

I quite like ds staying up later too, as he naps in the afternoon and stays asleep till 7.30 am which feels like a civilised time to wake up. He can't manage later than 9pm though - he tends to put himself to bed round then and he's only 14 months.

Sounds like your friend needs to be more strict!

Mine go to bed betwen 7-8,usually 7.30. they are 3 and 1.5.I feel the youngest is ususally in bed too late,should be more 6.30-7 ish.Whatever works for you,I suppose.Mohze,I think you must work long hours,else an earlier bedtime,maybe.

I think bed bath story routine tends to work as a wind down, but probably sound very boring.

well it sounds like you have a routine that works for you, and your friend is trying to sort her children out to suit her. Common sense doesn't really come into it.

It is nice spending time with the DCs in the evening....I work fulltime so don't see much of them during the day.
I don't think it is a case of being 'stricter' but allowing children to follow a routine that is more natural to them.
My 6 year old still sleeps in my room,( 'officially' on a little trundle bed...but often actually on our massive emperor sized bed..), yet his 4 younger sibs have all progressed on from that...DTs sleep together,( one often 'visits' our bed as she still breastfeeds at night..),and DS2&3 sleep independantly in their own rooms...

It just seems like such hard work....and she admitted she dreads the ' bedtime routine '..

Yeah,I can see that.As a mum you want to see your dcs at end of day.I recently worked for five days and last shift was 15 hours.I sooo missed the children.

Love my job but love dcs more,though when at work love work more.....On balance dcs win.

That's just me but will reiterate that we are all individuals.

I hope you do not REALLY hate pt mums and sahms

I do not hate anyone.

You do like posting the occasional controversial thread,though,which is cool.

My DDs are 5 and 7, they are in bed at 7pm, DS is 9 and in bed at 7:30pm but reads till 8pm. DS can't stay up late, even on holiday he likes to be in bed by 9pm at the very latest. He has a school trip soon, and bedtime is 9:30pm, don;t know how he is going to cope with that..
I don;t agree with unsettled bedtimes, but do agree with set bedtimes

What is controversial about this thread??!

No,not this one!!

The one about part-time mums was controversial.

Though you never know it could kick off..

I know where you are coming from , Mozhe with regard to wanting to spend more time with the DC's in the evening. Unfortunately for us it doesn't work as they go to a creche and can't nap during the dayonce they are over 3. I think your friend is pandering to much to the whims of her dc's. If you are fool enough to run up and down stairs with drinks etc the children will know you are under the thumb and will behave accordingly! Bed means bed in our house, no ifs, no buts.