How often do you tell your child "I love you" "you're beautiful" "you're perfect" "I'm proud of you" or something along those lines? How often does your partner?

[RoboJesus]

I'd say more than 20 times a day easily. It just comes naturally to me. But you always hear these stories of people who say their parents never said they loved them. Obviously on here that's probably never the case but it did get me wondering.

I say it every day to DS, as does DH. Every night at bedtime snuggles I tell him how proud I am of him for being kind and listening to us!
Also say it to DSD too.
Never said he's perfect though-thats a bit much for a wee boy to live up to! just say he's a lovely wee boy!

I don't say they're perfect....seems like an odd thing to say. But I love you is said multiple times.

As for being proud...I don't say that much at all, I was once told by someone very wise, that it's more powerful to tell a child "You should be proud of yourself" or "You should be pleased with yourself" so they learn to recognise their own achievements.

My parents have never told me they love me, but I know they do. It has resulted in a very practical yet unsentimental relationship between us. We enjoy each other's company but do not discuss issues deeper than, say, local news or politics. It suits us all. I live 300 miles from them now so only see them once or twice a year. I don't see why children need to hear that they're beautiful/perfect/amazing every two seconds. IMO It's much healthier for them to realise they're just like everyone else - imperfect - but they should find what they're good and and nurture it, and find what they're weaknesses are and address them.

We both tell our boys at least twice a day that we love them and probably lots more of 'you're so funny/clever/beautiful's... balanced out with just many 'dont be silly/dont hurt your brother/am I talking to myself?'s
We always make a concious effort to tell them how proud we are when they've been out & behaved well or achieved something...

It's not hard is it? It's so sad that some children don't have that it's so fundemental to feeling secure and loved.

Multiple times a day. Their Dad is as good as absent so never really from him.

Mine are both at secondary school. I say "I love you" all the time. I never tell them they're perfect. I occasionally tell them that I think they are handsome or beautiful. I do tell them that I am proud of the lovely person they are growing up to be (because I am and they are). I do also tell them they should be proud of specific achievements.

I don't remember my parents ever saying they loved me. If they ever did, it was so few and far between that I didn't notice. It was only ever something that was written in a birthday card .

12 & 13. A lot. Always try to say something positive and that I'm proud of them. As teens there is quite a lot of negatives going on.

Never tell DD's they're perfect. Tell them multiple times a day that I love them, they're beautiful/funny/clever etc. Tell them in proud of them if they achieve something.
I think pride in themselves will come later, as a consequence of DH and I being proud of them. They're 4 and 1 so don't think they are self aware enough yet to be proud of themselves!
I have had self esteem issues most of my life, so I've been determined my DD's will hear positives about themselves from birth to hopefully build up that self esteem before any negatives from the outside world try to knock it down. However, DD1 is a strong willed child who gets told off a lot so I need to counteract that with love bombing too!

I love you several times a day.
Beautiful/gorgeous a couple of times.
I'm proud of you when he deserves it, can be every day but not necessarily.
You're perfect, never, he isn't and he knows it. I'd find it an odd thing to say.

Mine are young. I tell them I love them a lot. I don’t tell them they are perfect (they’re not!) but I do tell them how proud I am of them and talk about their positive attributes (clever, kind, funny etc). I try to lay off telling them they are beautiful/ handsome because, particularly w DD, I don’t want her to think I value physical beauty above all else and I don’t want her to think looks are what matters most for girls. I do tell her when she looks lovely but I don’t make a big deal of it. She’s naturally scruffy anyway :)

I have never been told "I love you" by my parents but I know and feel I am loved. It doesn't bother me that they've never said it, but as a result it's a phrase that doesn't come easily or feel natural to me. I have to consciously remind myself to tell my DD that each day. It's a habit now to say it when she leaves for nursery, goes to bed etc, but I try to say it at other times too.

I never tell them they're perfect either. But we tell eachother 'I love you' all the time. I tell them I'm proud of them when there's something they've done that I'm proud of - hard work or kind behaviour.

Well we've just had our precious first baby so a lot of our time is spent looking at her and telling her how much we love her and how beautiful she is!

I tell DD I love her every day, usually five or six times. I tell her I'm proud of her whenever she does something that I want her to feel satisfied and proud for doing (usually a couple of times a week). I never tell her she's perfect (she isn't). I try and limit how often I tell her she's beautiful (but I do tell her) and make sure I also tell her she is funny and brave and kind. I reward her for trying hard. She is almost 5. She is awesome.

Oh and DH is the same although he's also quite likely to say, "oh, you're SO CUTE!"

I say it constantly, it comes naturally to me too. Maybe that's because my mother never told me, maybe I would have anyway. Who knows?

I often tell them I love them but never that they're beautiful/perfect. I try to only tell them I'm proud of them for something so they can link it to a specific behaviour rather than just a general platitude. I don't think my parents ever told me they loved me in actual words but I know they did. They said they were proud of me, but only when we had done something special, not on a daily basis.

I tell them I love them at bedtime every night. I don't say it much off the cuff otherwise. I tell them I'm proud of them if they've done something in public, iyswim, up on stage at school or something. I tell them positive things about themselves whenever it comes up, which is often , 'that was kind', 'you've worked really hard on that', 'that's a good idea/good question', 'that looks nice'. I don't tell them they're perfect or they're beautiful.

I give them a lot of physical affection. Cuddles whenever they want them, and incidental headstrokes and kisses whenever we're physically close.

I wasn't told I was loved and I got no positive attention or physical affection.

Never 'you're perfect', and try to always praise effort over achievement. Lots of 'love you' and telling them they are beautiful, especially when they have made no effort or are covered in muck/food have bed/hair generally at their most natural selves.

I tell them I love them everyday. I tell them I am proud and tell them why. I do not believe in giving empty compliments, they become meaningless. I love them no matter what and will tell them, likewise I am proud of them for the simplest things, but I would not just say “you make me proud”. I don’t tell them they are beautiful, because I do not want them to ever measure their worth by how they look. They are so much better than that and so am I.

I missed the question about partners. DH does much the same as me, although he gets and gives few cuddles. Sometimes he jokingly sulks a bit about the dc coming to me first for cuddles, (doesn't say anything to them, only to me), but I don't think he realises that I have a more physical relationship with them generally.

fewer, not few. DH is still quite cuddly with them

We both tell him we love him and are proud of him all the time. My parents have never said it to me and I struggle to say it to dp because of that.

Apart from you're perfect, I tell them I love them they're clever, beautiful, amazing all the time.

My mum told us daily that she loved us, my dsiblings and I parent very similar to her.

Dh also tells dc he loves them every day and is very affectionate. He didn't grow up hearing I love you very often.

Never perfect.
The others not daily. I say it when I really mean it. Maybe once or twice a week for I love you to Ds2, less to Ds1 because he's older and mums are 'embarasing' (just generally )

Proud of you - only once a month or so, when they do something really good that I'm impressed with: say very good result in maths or trying hard in football training or something.