How often do you tell your child "I love you" "you're beautiful" "you're perfect" "I'm proud of you" or something along those lines? How often does your partner?

[RoboJesus]

I'd say more than 20 times a day easily. It just comes naturally to me. But you always hear these stories of people who say their parents never said they loved them. Obviously on here that's probably never the case but it did get me wondering.

All the time and so does DH.

I worry about telling them how beautiful they are because they’re girls and I don’t want them to think their worth is wrapped up in looks. However I can’t help myself so I tell them they’re very clever every time I tell them they’re beautiful

My partner and I tell them many times a day that we love them. Also that they are clever, funny, beautiful and other variants of the same.
I do tell them they are perfect because to me, they are.

Several times a day. It would be more but she's a busy woman what with the school run and life to organise.

Seriously shocked at all these people saying all these OTT expressions many times per day.
Why? Is this normal?
How do you fit it in? Telling them they are beautiful, fabulous, etc etc, many times per day.

I can't understand how that fits in with the normal stories mn'ers tell of : toddlers ratty in the heat atm, mums running around in the morning trying to get kids to school on time and herself to work, or teenagers who are 'Kevin and Perry' who are embarrassed even by an occasional compliment!

With a stroppy, challenging 17 year old - not very often - I always tell him I love him when he goes to bed, or usually when I go to bed which seems to before him these days, but to be brutally honest a lot more of the time is spent nagging encouraging him to get on with his studying/uni applications/tidying his room/general behaviour etc etc. Or sobbing in utter despair and the self entitled ness of his behaviour.
I am very close to my parents (both well over 85 now) but don't think we've ever said I love you to each other' but I absolutely know that I am loved and cherished.

I love you constantly.

You're perfect? No. But I say "you're the perfect kid for me" and she says "every mummy thinks that". And she's right.

And when she asks if I'm proud I say, "are you proud of yourself, because your opinion matters".

All the time. Also call them perfect. Have also been caught telling them they’re the centre of the universe and the best kids ever

Tell my dc all the time that I love them, that they’re beautiful, clever etc. They also get gentle ribbing and get told off too. There’s enough people in the world that make it their mission to bring others down that you don’t need your own mother contributing.

I love you - we say that a lot.

Beautiful - we don't tend to use that as we discourage remarks about appearance.

Perfect - never. We use the message that trying to be perfect will damage you/hurt you/make you poorly.

I say I love you a lot to her. I compliment her on achievements and on putting effort in. Or enduring something difficult- Y6 full of these situations.
I tell her she looks wonderful and fabulous a lot.
I never tell her she's perfect.

I didn't realise that this 'sickly sweet style of parenting' was so common. I don't like it. At All. It's cringeworthy.

Obolov you sound very cold and I think your view is pretty uncommon, now at least.
It’s not sickly sweet to tell your children how much you love them.

Telling your children you love them is cringe worthy? Ok....

We make sure to say I love you before they leave the house and at bedtime. I have dcs 18,15 and 9 and they regularly tell us too. I make a point of praising when appropriate.

My kids are autistic so I tell them they’re perfect as they are every day. Same with I love you and you’re gorgeous/beautiful/handsome. But not about clothes, just in general.

I tell them their good points regularly, both DP and I do.

Just as an aside, my dad said I love you for the first time when I was 14. He’s said it a handful of times since (I’m 36). I’ve nevr doubted that he loves me, he just showed it in different ways, by never letting me down and always being there.

Yep-say 'i love you' v.often..'you're perfect'-never/whats so good about perfect ?..cuddles-bed,sofa,when she comes&grabs me..praise-often(especially for her cool lego stories she types out that blow my mind)-and for doin the bins,feeding dog,making bed,laundry unprompted..just2let her know how much i value her help...im a single parent to 11yr old DD and im blessed everyday that i got her personality type.

You're beautiful or you're perfect I wouldn't use - I love you and I'm proud of you yes everyday

Really don’t understand why you wouldn’t call your own kids beautiful.

All the time. My parents have rarely said it to me if ever - I certainly can't remember the last time.

I tell my dgs (aged 5) I love him every time I see him. Sometimes he says it first. "Nanny I love yoooooouuu!"

Not as frequently as I used to as they are now 16 and 18, so no longer dropped off at school with 'love you' etc. When they were little my nappy changing sing went 'I love you so much I could burst' and then named all the family members who loved them too.

Exams have been upon us, and I have been very proactive in telling the kids every morning as they left for exams that I love them, and I am proud of the way they worked. I also tell them I am proud of the people they are, and particularly when they stand up for what they believe.

DD and I text much more than DS, and I usually sign off texts with love you, and she does too.

I don't remember my parents telling me they loved me much as a small child, but I know they did. I usually end a phone call with Dad by telling him I love him, and I definitely tell him when we leave after a visit.
Important to me is that the kids hear DH and I saying we love each other, and being affectionate towards each other - hug and kiss when leaving for work etc.

I tell my dd that I love her every day. I also tell her she is beautiful. I think she is beautiful inside and out. When we see a flower or a butterfly that is beautiful or pretty in its outward appearance we don't feel bad for appreciating that so I don't see any harm in appreciating outward appearances for people as long as you understand that everyone is beautiful to someone and no one should be treated differently because of their perceived outward appearance. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

I'd avoid saying that they are 'clever', 'perfect' etc. if they haven't done anything to really, truly display those characteristics; all it does is create this vision in their mind that they have to live up to, and is why, I think, so many children struggle with failure - they've been told they're 'clever' and so when they can't do something, it damages how they feel about themselves, as they believe themselves to be 'clever' and surely that means they should do the task easy, right?

Saying that you love them, on the other hand, go mad with telling them!!

Love you everyday. And I try to focus on something positive about them, eg if they’ve been kind I say how much I like that.

I think it becomes formulaic and meaningless if you’re saying it all the time. Bit like the bloke who insists on saying love you at the end of each phone call but you know he’s shagging someone else.
My kids know I love them and I say it sometimes but not routinely. When they were little I used to call them gorgeous but not perfect or beautiful.
I rather show my love with hugs and kindness. I do say I’m proud of them but for specific things, like overcoming a difficulty or facing and sorting a mistake they made.