How often do you tell your child "I love you" "you're beautiful" "you're perfect" "I'm proud of you" or something along those lines? How often does your partner?

[RoboJesus]

I'd say more than 20 times a day easily. It just comes naturally to me. But you always hear these stories of people who say their parents never said they loved them. Obviously on here that's probably never the case but it did get me wondering.

Every day, lots of times.

I tell them I love them and praise them all the time, I would never tell them they’re perfect though as no human being is and I don’t think it would do them any favours

I love you all the time In fact just texted adult dd that I loved her.

Never you're perfect. Only you're beautiful when it's relevant (dressed up for a night out, for example) I try to be specific-loads of relevant praise. They twig very quickly if it's not.

I really struggle with this and DD is only 11 months. Saying "I love you" feels awkward and weird. I can't say it to DH either. I've never hugged any of my family or told them I loved them, or heard it back either. I didn't realise it was unusual until I met DH and saw how he interacted with his family. I don't want DD to grow up and be unable to express her feelings.

Every chance I get especially when I have had a crappy day and snapped at the DC. Sometimes when the DC are upset with each other or me for that matter I make it a point at bedtime for us all to take it in turns to tell each other 3 things we love them for. DD 1 to DD 2, 1) I love you because your funny and make me laugh, 2) I love you for helping me learn to ride my bike, 3) I love you for letting me play with your favourite doll etc I know it’s cheesy but everyone is giggling and sleeps on a happier note letting go of any bad feelings they harbour.

@drearydeardre My parents never told me they loved me that I recall but until the day they died I have never been in any doubt that they adored me. They showed me in every action, every day. Words alone are cheap, saying them is not wrong but unless they are backed up with actions they are worthless.

Pebble- this may sound ridiculous, but try singing it. Make up a silly song with "I love you" in it.

I say I love them lots but actively try not to say that they are beautiful or perfect - girls already get the message so often that these things are important, and the evidence says it's much better to praise their efforts.

Instead I'd rather notice their kindness, their strength, their perseverance....

All those who say they don't tell their DD's they're beautiful, why not?
I get that you don't want your daughters to feel their worth is wrapped up in their looks, but telling them they're beautiful doesn't negate their worth in other ways. I was never told I was pretty/beautiful etc. So when, at school, I was told I was ugly - that is what stuck. It hugely damaged my self esteem. It didn't matter that I was intelligent.
This is why I make sure my DD's know they are pretty as well as clever and funny and kind etc. And I make sure they know they aren't just beautiful because they have a pretty dress on.

@Pebblespony I agree with BertrandRussell - sing a song about it. I made one up to the tune of Alhouette when DC were small, and just sang my head off at all the things I loved about them. That was to get past PND when I was failing to bond. It really worked.

You can also just say 'I love your toes, I love your ears, I love your mouth' etc as you bathe or change them, until you get so used to saying it you stop feeling embarrassed. The only one who hears will be your baby!

@BertrandRussel Good idea, I hadn't thought of that.

It seems stupid to be embarrassed about saying 'I love you' to your own baby. I'm definitely going to work on this.

I hardly ever say any of those things. My parents never did either but I never doubted their love or pride.
I say ‘I love you’ to my kids sometimes. When they achieve something, I’ll say ‘wow! That’s amazing/fantastic’ and tell them I’m proud of them and ask them how they feel. Dh is similar though he bigs up theirs achievements much more than I do.
I’m sure they know I love them. I always hug them and kiss them. My13 yr old still likes it so I’ll make the most of it while I can!

I tell them I love you loads! Growing up my parents, whilst lovely, were never ones to show much emotional so I love you wasn’t something I can remember them saying, or they were proud of us. I would of liked to hear that from them so I want my DC to never be in any doubt! They are very different GPs though and constantly tell the DC how much they love them and are proud of them

I'm not sure if I say it daily etc I haven't ever really thought about it! They certainly know we back them 100% and are proud of them, when they have good behaviour or do something we will say so. I quite often call them gorgeous (especially my little girl as she's a bit younger I think the boys would get a bitembarrassedif I kept going on)

"I love you" At least once a day. It's always the last thing I say at night.
And I often I'm proud of or him, but usually for something specific, particularly if it's something I know he struggles with that I have yelled at him for not doing
And quite often he gets chased around the house so I can smother him with kisses and snuggies
Tweens love this.

It's no wonder kids need validation via Snapchat (or whatever) if they grow up with a constant gushing of praise and declarations of love.

I tell DD(13) I love her often, not on an hourly/daily basis, but she knows I love her because I've always got her back

Sometimes I say she's beautiful but I also remark on her strong athletic body, her resilience, ambition and determination because I think it's important that girls are praised for these things.

All the time. I never heard it as a child. If I did well, I heard, 'I should hope so', if I asked if they were proud of me, I heard, 'Don't be silly', ....I do recall a lady in France telling my Mum how pretty she thought I was, and Mum replied, 'Who? Starutopia? Well I guess she scrubs up quite well'

You get the drift.

I've questioned as an adult and been told, well of course you are, it doesn't need to be said.

I disagree. It does need to be said, so my kids probably get told more than they should!

Domino Just read your post. It's strange because my parents are completely different with my kids. Very openly affectionate and do tell them love you etc.

I wonder if it's a generation thing? My parents are in their 70's now..

Probably a few times a week, not every day and it's usually at bedtime.

My parents were very huggy and kissy. I'm not even sure what Snapchat is and I'm fairly sure I don't need constant validation!
It's only British people who think you can spoil a child with too much love and affection. Hangover from the Victorians.

Stupid generalisation from IfNot

It's no wonder kids need validation via Snapchat (or whatever) if they grow up with a constant gushing of praise and declarations of love.

And this is..not a stupid generalisation? ?