For those with 3 children - why did you decide to have a third?

[earlycomputers]

I have 2 children at the moment and am wondering whether to have a third. For those of you who have had 3 children (twins or accidental pregnancies not included!), why did you decide to have a third and do you have any regrets from having a third? Thanks

It is selfish and indulgent to have a 3rd if yuor older 2 are at school you know

Although this pregnancy wasn't exactly planned we always knew we would have 3 or 4 children.

After two children I just didn't feel that my family was complete. Now I am pregnant with number three I feel extremely complete and know that it is very unlikely we'll have anymore.

So in answer to your question - no real reason, just because we wanted to.

I had a third after a break of 11 years. I had her becuase we wanted another child, my dd's wanted a baby brother or sister and it has made the sun shine on all our lives !! The older girls love her to pieces and are so proud to be big elder sisters and myself and DP wonder what on earth we use dto do when we didn't have her.

We are even thinking of a no.4 now!!

Always wanted to have 3 - don't know why though! But I know lots of adults who have only one sibling and they are not close - because I have a big gap between my first two I was a bit concerned they would not be close either and felt a third would sort of "round off" the family - would be closer in age to the second one and was hoping for another dd so dd1 would have a sister - ended up with another ds though but he and dd get on really well in spite of a nearly 7 year age gap - and look alike too!

Absolutely no regrets apart from the fact I will be close to pension age by the time they are all finished full-time education!

I'm not really qualified to answer this but will anyway!

I'm pregnant with no 3. I always quite wanted a third, DP didn't, but it happened and now he's cool with it.

The reason I wanted 3 mainly becasue my eldest has special needs. I don't know what the future will hold for her but I should probably work on the assumption that she'll be quite dependant on her family. Anything over and above that will be a wonderful bonus.

With 1 younger sibling I felt that this may prove to be a lot of pressure on my DD2. If / when D and I are to ill or elderly to care for DD1, or when we are no longer around, my DD2 will probably feel she is responsible. A awful lot of pressure for one person I feel.

DD2 may well decide to emigrate, and I would want her to follow her dreams but I have to be truthful and say I'd find that so hard with my eldest having SN's.

My eldest won't have children and again I'd hate to be clucksing around DD2 praying she wants them.

In other words I want the pressure taken off DD2 and basically, long term, it would be nice for DD2 if she had some non-SN support as she grows up, someone to share with checking in on their eldest sister.

Short term -

• there may be times when DD2 is a bit more grown up than her younger sister and it would be nice if she had a sibling close in years to play with as well.
• I think that the 3 will work really well together. I can see DD2 and DC3 really looking after and loving DD1 and DD1 really benifitting from having " sibloings to learn from and play with.
• I look at my 2 girls now and feel so, so blessed I can't wait to make another amazing child and feel very, very lucky that I have that opportunity.

oh how long was my post, so sorry

TC congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW, the reason I had a third was that I was hoping to have a little girl after 2 boys. Got another boy!! But he is gorgeous!

congratulations teecee. I find myself thinking of having a third more and more often. but I'm a bit scared... so will follow this thread with great attention

i was about 3 myself i recall

Why did we have a third? Because we wanted more chidren. And that's as complex as it gets. I don't think you can really rationalise the desire for children. TC's explaination makes sense, but, if she hadn't truly wanted another then I doubt any rationalising would have made her have another purely for her dd2's sake.

TBH, I'd have more if I could, and I suspect that, now we've got 3, dh would be just as happy to have 4, even though for years he only wanted 2.

Thank you

I think I'm scared of having a boy, won't know what to do with a boy! Oh God, actually as I said that I got a massive excited flip in my tummy, and I really don't care, i'm just so excited. Who's in there???? Can't wait

stop it teecee, im getting v broody

Absolutley PrettyCandles (hello btw )
I'd always had 3 in my head. I just think it's a fab no. I think 3 work really well together. Always someone else to play with.... I just think the dynamics of 3 siblings work well.

Not to say I'm not terrified of some of the aspects and not to say that I'm looking forward to having to get a 7seater car etc but really, really excited that I'm going to be a mum of 3.

Sorry NP
It is bloody excting though!
My chest has gone all fluttery

I would like a third.. Think dh would too but I am bit scared atm...no idea why, its a very big decision!!

Even the woman on cbbs it pregnant cannot seem to escape it atm.

Aww congrats Teecee!!! When are you due?

Thanks Northener, early days still, due 23 September. Sorry, feel as if I've monopolised the thread a bit, sorry.

Always thought 3 was a nice number, but thought I would stick to 2 (because of age etc). Then I thought "what the heck ,why not 3...No regrets.

3 seemed the right number, both DH and i are one of 3 siblings.

TC congrats - I thought you may have been pg when you mentioned making butties for 3 a couple of days ago. But thought nah! she means dp lol!

I have 3 and both dh and I are the middle ones of 3. I just knew I wasn't finished after 2 IYSWIM. It wasn't a concious decision for me.

LOL at me making my DP's sandwiches !!!

When I had DD2 I said to my mum 'this can't be the last time, I have to do this again'. I just knew I wasn't ready to stop and call it a day after 2. So pleased I'm pregnant So great saying that!

We had a third after a gap of 6 years - had a ds after two dds (they are all now 9, 8 and 18m). I'm not sure what prompted it really, except that I tend to listen to my inner feelings I suppose. Dh always said (after the dds) that he would love to have more, but that it was to be my decision and he would never pressure me either way. For a long time I was happy just having the two, but then found myself thinking more and more about having a third. I didn't say anything to dh for several months because I didn't want to get his hopes up (or put more pressure on myself!) - but when I realised I was thinking about it at least once or twice a day, I just knew this was a feeling that wasn't going to go away!

I was lucky, got pg within two cycles, had a fantastic pg and birth, ds is a dream and the dds adore him. When he was 10 days old we decided to have a fourth (I am now 15 wks pg)

Ironically, before we were married, we talked about having two, then a gap, then another two ... looks like that is what we are doing!

Although I am not TTC I am missing out every 2nd pill so would be delighted if it worked methinks