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Parenting

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Original poster

For those with 3 children - why did you decide to have a third?

100 replies

earlycomputers · 31/01/2007 10:02

I have 2 children at the moment and am wondering whether to have a third. For those of you who have had 3 children (twins or accidental pregnancies not included!), why did you decide to have a third and do you have any regrets from having a third? Thanks

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fennel · 31/01/2007 11:34

I had a persistent niggle that two wasn't quite enough. DP and I are both from 3 child families so maybe 2 children didn't seem disruptive enough.

Really I think 2 might have been more sensible for us. dd3 is absolutely lovely but we are quite bogged down in domestic crap, and sometimes I do think we bit off more than we could easily manage.

geekgrrl · 31/01/2007 11:35

I have 3 - a lot of it was due to exactly the same reasons as TC - word for word! LOL

and we just wanted another one, the other two were so lovely and we thought it'd be nice to add to that. Dh was also secretly hoping for a boy I think.

TeeCee · 31/01/2007 11:39

Geekgrrl -

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

willow2 · 31/01/2007 11:41

Congrats, TeeCee - and there was I just thinking that it was about time you came out on a girls' night with Sophable, CD and I. Water all round.

TeeCee · 31/01/2007 11:43

Hello love. We should do another lunch sometime aye.

Nemo2007 · 31/01/2007 11:47

TC congrates to you!!!!!

I have 3 although third is nearly 4wks. For us we had a third because we didnt feel our family was complete. WE still dont think it is so may have a fourth at some point[although at the min my three are all under 3 1/2yrs so will wait.] I was one of three and the eldest and liked having my sisters around. I also know my ds loves having siblings and dd1 seems to adore dd2 so that is not an issue. I just love big families and not having much extended family makes it a little more important to me to create my own with my children. Dh was an only child and while he liked it he also feels he missed out on something, now his parents are old and slightly frail it makes him realise more how it would have been better if he had someone to share his worries etc with[obviously he does with me but not in same way]

MorocconOil · 31/01/2007 14:33

It just didn't feel complete with 2. I kept thinking there was somebody else out there waiting to join us. Also both dh and I are from families of 3 and as an adult it is great to have more sibs to discuss ageing parents and their foibles with.

Mostly it is really lovely but since no 3 have become a SAHM and couldn't imagine coping otherwise. There just seems more to do, washing, cleaning, shopping, conflict resolution, homework, facilitating social networks, worrying about them all....

It is definately a full-time job whereas with 2 it was still possible to hold down a job. Saying that I know people with 3 who work as well and seem to manage fine.

I think once you have it in your mind to have 3 the thought doesn't go away until you are pregnant! It's definately worth it.

hippmummy · 31/01/2007 15:00

mimizan - I feel exactly the same as you. Like there is another person out there waiting in the wings to join our family. My 2 DS's are 3.6 and 1.6 so we will wait for a bit. Also DH is still at the 'no more babies!' stage.
But I definitely feel I have another baby yet to come, even if I can't explain why.

tortoiseSHELL · 31/01/2007 15:14

Just couldn't imagine stopping at two! I always wanted 3 or 4 children - think I would still like to have a fourth - I can't imagine never being pregnant again, and never having that new little life to cherish and love! Two just seems such a small number!

MorocconOil · 31/01/2007 16:36

Hippmummy, We have 2ds two years apart. DH was a bit reluctant at first but i think he got a bit broody when ds2 was almost 3. Anyway after a very, very drunken night dd was conceived. He was very happy (and still is) when she arrived!!
We both knew it was time to stop at 3 and dh has had the snip. I have no regrets or broodiness. You just seem to know instinctively when you want more or want to stop.

Pinkchampagne · 31/01/2007 16:38

Oh wow! Congratulations, TeeCee!

bobsmum · 31/01/2007 16:44

I would love a third but dh says no atm.

What size of house do you all have? do you make the children share bedrooms? All my friends growing up who had to share bedrooms hated it. That's my biggest worry over finance/broken nights/coping etc!

TeeCee · 31/01/2007 16:50

I have a teeny tiny house, but will look at moving.

At first baby will be in with us, then there'll be some sharing going on if we don't move straight away.

My friend has 3 kids and a 2 bed masionette, it woks fine for them until they can get a bigger place.

My dad slept at his nans house when he was a kid as there wasn't a spare bed for him. They had a 1 bed flat and there were 4 kids. Parents in bedrrom. 2 girls in lounge and uncle ronnie was in the kitchen!
Then one of em musy have moved out as my dad's quite a lot younger, and he got the bed under the kitchen table.!

bobsmum · 31/01/2007 16:51

And huge congrats Teecee It seems like no time at all since you had dd2!

handlemecarefully · 31/01/2007 16:51

"I had a persistent niggle that two wasn't quite enough. DP and I are both from 3 child families so maybe 2 children didn't seem disruptive enough.

Really I think 2 might have been more sensible for us. dd3 is absolutely lovely but we are quite bogged down in domestic crap, and sometimes I do think we bit off more than we could easily manage. "

I think this is an important post to repeat - just for a bit of balance.

I often toy with the idea of a 3rd and feel quite whistful about it - but know it would be too much for me. 3 ways to spread yourself with helping re. homework / social activities and clubs, and giving attention. It's too much work for me - I am essentially selfish and want some life back.

This is in now way critical of the decision to have 3 or more children. That scenario fits just fine for a lot of families...but I suspect you have to be quite a laid back, relaxed personality for it to come easily to you.

Freckle · 31/01/2007 16:57

I had 3 because I wanted a large family. However, having had DS1 at 37, going for a large family was a bit of a long-shot, so we just stopped when we (a) thought I was old enough (41 when I had DS3) and (b) thought the number we had was OK. Had I been younger when I started, we would probably have had more.

Bl**dy Cherie Blair caused me all sorts of problems when she fell pregnant at 45/46 as DH kept saying, "See, we could have more", but I had to point out that we didn't have the resources for cleaners, nannies, etc. So we stuck at 3. All boys and all totally scrumbatious.

ItsMeMellowma · 31/01/2007 17:00

I am also one of 3 and we had 2 bedroom between myself and my 2 brothers but always chose to share the one bedroom for some reason...

The only time I think dc feel it with the sharing of the room is when they become teenagers ime.

hub2dee · 31/01/2007 19:51

another quick hijack so say congrats TC /

didn't want to e-mail at work LOL

onlyjoking9329 · 31/01/2007 20:02

we had twins girls following an ectopic, it took us a long time to get them too, we wanted more children and so left it to fate, after a MC we had a son, we would have liked another one but felt that we needed to give so much to the three we already had so we stopped at three.

3andnomore · 31/01/2007 20:10

Well, es was a horrid little child and I didn't cope well, so long agegap between 1 and 2 (6 1/2y), then ms was a lil darling and I found htings quite easy,and when he decided to stop bf, I really missed that and started to long more and more another child, another pg and another chance of achieving my Homebirth and anohter chance of bf, too...I actually considered surrogating because of the at least the 1 if not 2. reason...anyway, we then decided to go for a third, and it's not that I regrett having him (I love him honest), but sometimes I just think things would be easier of we had stuck with 2....#2 and 3 were 21 month apart!

TeeCee · 31/01/2007 20:27

Oh my God, Hub, there you are, starting a thread for you in a mo in chat, come and find me, xxxxxx

fennel · 31/01/2007 20:33

3andnomore, that's interesting, did you have a home birth with no 3?

My SIL had a traumatic caesarian with twins and had a third partly/mainly to achieve a natural birth. Maybe it's quite a common reason to have another.

WestCountryLass · 31/01/2007 21:45

When we decided to start a family I never thought I want 1/2/3 kids, I just thought we would have one and see how we got on. Got on fine and decided to have DD. As soon as I got pregnant with her, if asked, I just knew I wanted another and that I could not say "we were done".

So we decided to have a , third and, again, I cannot say we will not have a fourth, though if we do go for a fourth that will be it!

We are currently planning an extension to give us extra bedrooms. If I have a boy there will be six years between them and I can't imagine my eldest will be impessed with sharing with a baby

chocolatekimmy · 31/01/2007 21:54

Had our third July last year mainly due to enjoying the first two so much. Never thought i would be that maternal and though i'm not mother earth I do love the pleasure i get out of being a parent.

Seemed a shame not to have any more, not sure if we will have a fourth at the moment, would be surprised.

My third is the easiest so far, an absolute dream - she is such a sweetie. I am very proud and feel priviledged to have 2 beautiful healthy children and would definately recommend it.

No regrets at all - it is quite easy - much easier than we expected.

Glassofwine · 31/01/2007 21:55

Decide - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Who would decide to have three children in three years???

Wouldn't change it though

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