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Parenting

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Original poster

For those with 3 children - why did you decide to have a third?

100 replies

earlycomputers · 31/01/2007 10:02

I have 2 children at the moment and am wondering whether to have a third. For those of you who have had 3 children (twins or accidental pregnancies not included!), why did you decide to have a third and do you have any regrets from having a third? Thanks

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tearinghairout · 02/02/2007 09:44

A different view! Having twins really threw us in at the deepend. I found the first year horrible. A friend who'd had a DD after twins said she was a real joy, but I couldn't take the risk of having another set of twins. Mixed feelings, fear & regret...

Then I went to a family party, where I met my new niece for the first time. I held her & thought 'Ah, isn't she sweet. Now what?' as her mum shot off to where the choc dessert was being served in the other room. Luckily the babe did a poop so I had an excuse to go & find Mum & get some choc before it all went. Then a lady turned up with a baby dachshund. It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. I knew I was cured!

fryalot · 02/02/2007 09:46

We had three because dd1 is ten years older than the other two. Didn't want her to be an only child, so had dd2, then thought that with the age difference, in a way, they are both only children, so had ds straight away so dd2 at least would have somebody.

tinkerbellie · 02/02/2007 09:47

my dd is 16 motnhs now and my ds is five yo and i keep thinking i wouldlike another (noyt just yet but in a year or two) donlt ike to think that this is the last time i will have a toddler

after ds we had decided just to have two but after dds birth was so easy and because you kind of know what you are doind with your second you can enjoy it more - so now i thnk i have more or less talked dh round (i think it's mor about money etc as we have got rid of all the baby stuff etc)

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inoz · 02/02/2007 10:08

I have 4 kids, ages 6, 4, almost 2 and 4 mths. I always wanted just 2 kids but after dd1 & 2 arrived I just knew I wasn't done, because I didn't even think about giving away my maternity clothes. I put them in a bag and put them in the top of the wardrobe and thought "I'll probably need these again", so I just knew. DH always wanted 4 but there was no pressure from him to go on becasue dd2's birth was long and he found it quite traumatic, so it was my decision entirely. Part of my thoughts were that it would be nice for dh if we had a son, but neither of us minded either way really. Fortunately, ds came along as no. 3 and then we had another dd. They are all close in age and so far get on so well most of the time, I almost fell that I could go again, but the logistics of four is bad enough, without going on to 6 (DH has a thing about odd numbers). In short however, I think you know if you feel complete or not, as most people on this thread have said... all the best making your decision.

mozhe · 02/02/2007 10:49

No regrets ! I am now expecting no 6....although slight ' cheat ' as 4 & 5 are twins !! I always knew I wanted a large family because I came from one, and have very happy memories of being part of a huge clan.My mum did the same job I do and managed it well so I thought I could do it too. I started late,( my one regret really, but I didn't have the confidence to start whilst i was climbing the greasy pole ), and that was a gamble but very luckily I have had no problems so far.I don't know if I will have any more,( at 44 even I am likely to run out of steam eventually..), as 6 does seem an enormous number !

NotAnOtter · 02/02/2007 11:09

Mohze i take my hat off to you - I have five and would not worry about another but its the closeness of yours!!!

bekplus3 · 02/02/2007 11:57

I was happy with two and then suddenly I found myself pregnant when my 2nd was just over 1. I was devastaed, but not enough for a termination, which i could never do anyway. I wanted time with my 2nd child as I'd had with the 1st. As the pregancy progressed though I found that I was extremly happy and looking forward to the 3rd. He was a dream baby and has actually made our family complete. It is hard work and I find the battles for attention hard to deal with sometimes, but as long as you stay happy and focused it works out well. I think I'd always wanted 3 children, but I would have liked the chance to make the decision myself, instead of nature deciding for me.

cat64 · 02/02/2007 12:17

This reply has been deleted

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mozhe · 02/02/2007 12:35

No choice re; closeness in age, Not an Otter, due to my advanced maternal age ! That's my one regret actually I wish I'd had them more spaced out, maybe with 3-4 year gaps....but even now I just don't think it would have worked with the career I had chosen.

Madora · 02/02/2007 14:37

It was just too easy with 2 kids - needed a bit more stress, a little more back ache and a few more sleepless nights. Oh and endless cuddles with an adoring child who sees you at the centre of her world....

yoyo · 02/02/2007 14:40

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the children were at school/nursery and love was in the air...

No regrets!

redclyffe · 02/02/2007 15:19

We've got two at the moment,dd and ds, and I would love a third just to annoy all those people who told me I must be stopping now that I have a 'perfect family'. My in-laws also tell me if I wanted more I couldn't have three, I would have to have four because of 'middle child syndrome'? like it's scientifically proven. Is it? (I'm youngest of 3, which is the real reason I want three prob)

NotAnOtter · 02/02/2007 17:00

Whats your career Mohze ( nosy aren;t I?)

ivelostmyboobsboohoo · 02/02/2007 17:19

she was a surprise- and a very nice one at that!

mozhe · 02/02/2007 18:35

I'm a doctor.

PeachyClair · 02/02/2007 18:46

I dont know, it just seemed right I guess. regret? Regret DS3???? no way!! He's perfection!

Mog · 02/02/2007 19:39

Congratulations Mozhe. Wish I had the confidence to go for number 4 (I'm nearly 44). Do you find this one more tiring and do they treat you differently?

sunrays · 02/02/2007 21:07

I have two, 3 and 20mo and am currently obsessed with thoughts about potential number 3. I always wanted 3, DH would have happily stopped at 2, but I talked him round. I had a miscarriage just before xmas after a worry about possible ectopic, all quite traumatic. Now I can't help feeling it was my body telling me I'm too old, feel shouldn't grieve for lost baby as I have 2 beautiful kids and should stop now. I keep thinking of all negatives of 3-sleepless nights (no 2 only just sleeping through), needing bigger car etc and I'm terrified that if I had 3rd with disabilities it could really be a huge pressure on us all. BUT...I can't stop wanting another. Confused!

hotmama · 02/02/2007 22:21

Another one - who just feels I haven't done at 2 - I'm the eldest of 3!

My dd's are only 16 months apart - dd2 is 1 next week.

Must admit - I would just like to have a normal birth - and would love the opportunity to have a go!

Quite happy to have another girl - not wanting a 3rd - just to have a boy.

Just feel I haven't done yet - and I'm 40 soon!

cat64 · 03/02/2007 22:08

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nogoes · 03/02/2007 22:20

Wow number 6 Mozhe congratulations!. How old were you when you started? If you don't mind me asking.

mozhe · 04/02/2007 22:19

i was 37 when I had DS1...I probably will be treated differently this time because my first 5 were born in UK, and we are currently living in France, so will have to see....so far ok though.

bandstand · 04/02/2007 22:34

we had a boy and a girl, so perfect. both agreed it was too easy, didnt want easy. {grin} had another girl, ............no more, migt be another girl

fairi · 07/02/2007 21:46

Mozhe,
I am so interested and inspired by your post - so now Very nosy, but your post raises many questions for me (which would be very helpful to know)

How much help do you have with managing them?
What happens to them when you work?
How much time are you able to devote to work in a day?
and lastly, how do you manage driving them places - do you usually split them up?

I run a practice from home and am planning our 3rd at this point and am having many of the logistical concerns rearing their heads and making me wonder if we've made the right decision. I am most surprised and encouraged that you can still consider a career with 6 children - it gives my career ambitions new hope!!

Gobbledigook · 07/02/2007 21:47

I was one of three and I always wanted three myself. I wasn't bothered whether they were boys or girls - I just wanted three.

Am very happy with my 3 gorgeous boys.

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