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Original poster

Okay so everyone with a nearly 3 year old plus who is nowhere near potty trained please let me know I am not alone.

101 replies

bobbybob · 09/12/2005 08:18

Ds will be 3 at the end of Feb 06 and deep down I know that it is fine that he has no concept of what is required. But when everyone I know in RL has done it, I just want to know that in the much more sensible and probably more honest world of mumsnet that I am not alone.

A lot of it is that I just can't be arsed and am waiting for ds to decide to do it himself. We go out a lot to places like the zoo with 2 toilets about 2km apart, and I bike or walk to places rather than take the car.

I am rather tempted to send him to preschool for the whole week and let them sort it out.

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saadia · 09/12/2005 08:23

It might not be as much hassle as you think. I just put ds in pants and said you have to pee/poo in the potty. For a couple of days he was weeing all over the house but then started telling me when he wanted to go. We had a few accidents but he got the hang of it pretty quickly.

Your ds might learn quickly too. If I'd left it up to ds I'm not sure if he would have ever declared himself ready.

Rudolfthebluenosedteddy · 09/12/2005 08:27

My DS2 will be 3 in March & is very much still in nappies.
I have tried him out with both potty & toilet seat, but he freaks out, so I am leaving it for a while.
My DS1 was 6 weeks of 3 when I toilet trained him & it very easy as he was so ready.
I wouldn't worry about it. I have not come across many children starting school still in nappies!!

ElfBert · 09/12/2005 08:28

My friend DS was not interested AT ALL in potty training - quite the opposite in fact. Was absolutely, point blank not going to sit on a potty or a toilet.

Just after his 3rd birthday he announced "I want to wear big boy pants". She was a bit taken aback, as she assumed she would set aside a week at some point to tackle this - but as he had decided himself, she bit the bullet and went for it. 3 days of several changes of clothing and a couple of successes - much praise for success, no complaints when wet (this included out and about - and she took a potty around with her everywhere) and he was DONE! I was SO impressed, I wondered why I had bothered trying to train my DD at 2 1/2. She seemed to show all the signs - but it still took 3 months for her to really "get it"...

Just relax and wait. You might be surprised!

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dramaqueen72 · 09/12/2005 08:36

dd2 will be three in may, she is so not interested in potty training, that i gave up. now before her bath every night i encourage her ot sit on the potty -shes never ever had a wee on it tho- but thats it. I'm waiting for the sunshine and lighter clothes before I attempt this again....... they all 'get it' in the end, dont stress yourself over it too much!

Original poster
bobbybob · 09/12/2005 08:38

You see, this is what I needed to read right now. I haven't exactly done everything else the same way as all the people I know who have kids the same age.

I bf ds until he was 2.5
He was in his cot 6 months longer than all the others.
Cloth nappies not dispies
Sling and hip seat not buggy
Trips out everyday rather than lots of time at home

OP posts:
jamiesam · 09/12/2005 08:43

Ds1 was pretty much 3 when it all clicked into place. Before that we'd had months of nursery putting him on the potty every half hour (back in the real world, that didn't happen at home at all!) and several accidents a day at nursery (at least all I had to do was provide the clean clothes - they washed most of the accidents.)

Then when he got it sussed at nursery, I got all the accidents at home.

When he was 2 months off his 3rd birthday, I'd had ENOUGH of his wet pants and trousers and gave up and put him back in pull up pants for 2-3 weeks. Then had strength to try again, and it clicked for him within the month. To such success that he was dry at night as well!

So, unfortunately, you might find that preschool can't sort it out completely - but also that 3 is a great age to toilet train.

Ps - ds2 is 2.4 and won't even sit on the potty - another late to train I think.

harpsiheraldangelssing · 09/12/2005 08:50

dd1 is three in May and frankly niether of us can be a**sed to train her. She will pee if I ask her (at bathtime) but don't get stressed about it I say, plenty of time yet. I am of the view that if you leave it till the right time it takes much less time and energy than trying to forcce it too soon.
unlike you, most of her contemporaries are NOT trained yet, by any means.

Enideepmidwinter · 09/12/2005 09:10

I trained dd2 in about four days in Sept - she was 3 in Oct.

She picked it up really quickly with a bit of bribery.

We've had a couple of lapses but on the whole she has been brilliant.

ISawFrannyandZooeyKissingSanta · 09/12/2005 09:19

Ds is 3 in April and only one of his peer group is trained - and she decided to do it by herself, much against her mum's wishes! Ds is nowhere near ready - he has never done a wee in the potty or even sat on it except with all his clothes on. I am of the belief that training them before they are ready is madness - a complete waste of time for all concerned. A bit like 'training' them to walk before their legs are developed. They will stand up and walk one day, when they decided, not you, and they will also tell you when they are ready to stop using nappies.

carla · 09/12/2005 09:24

Message deleted

carla · 09/12/2005 09:25

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stitchintime · 09/12/2005 09:31

neither of my ds's were potty trained till after there third birthdays.
dd will be three in feb as well. little madame doesnt want to sit on the potty or the toilet. insists on her own nappy. and can even change it herself, if wee and pullups!
she doesnt want to, and i cant be bothered to right now.

bobbybobbobbingalong · 09/12/2005 18:25

I do question (well not outloud just in my mind) how trained these kids actually are. "Well he wears a nappy at night, and usually does his one poo a day into it before I can change it - and he wears a pull up while he has his 3 hour nap in the afternoon, and he sleeps from 7pm - 8am every night, and he has the odd accident".

So thats around 6-7 hours per day they are coping with undies - and still having accidents. Ds could probably manage that, as he goes around 4 hours between wees.

TheFish · 09/12/2005 18:27

the fishes shcool of potty training will open after xmas

harpsiheraldangelssing · 09/12/2005 18:31

bobbybob - lol yes there also of the school of:
yes he sleeps through the night

except he has a little drink about 2am.

listen competitive mummy we don't care

bobbybobbobbingalong · 09/12/2005 20:43

Very true, these are the same women who did

"he sleeps through the night - apart from when he wakes up"
"he's eating 3 meals a day - as long as they are all chocolate pudding"
"he's walking - with a parent on either side holding him upright"

So the "he's potty trained for 3 hours at a time until he has a accident" should be taken with the same pinch of salt.

myturn · 09/12/2005 20:47

I left all mine until they were between 3 and 3 and a half. So much easier to leave them until they are well and truly ready because by then virtually no 'training' is required. Dont be pressurised - do you know any 18 year olds still in nappies?

JenumPoinsetta · 09/12/2005 20:55

Yeah I wouldnt worry - He will get there in the end!

A few weeks ago, I could have been posting the same thing - my ds turned 3 in Oct and I thought he would never be out of nappies. He was bought some Spiderman 'big boy' pants for his birthday, but still not interested - even dont you want to be like your big brother? No!

Anyway, I think one saturday he got up and I wanst well so kind of forgot to take his nappy off (bad mother I know!) so in the end it got sooo big it fell down! Then dissuaded him from putting another one on even though he kept on. I then suggested a sticker chart thing if he did a wee in the potty - he liked this idea very much and sat on the potty and did a wee and a poo! He didnt want to get off in the end!

I was sat there for ages with him reading book after book. Sometimes he would even do a little dribble just for a sticker - lol!

Anyway, the spiderman pants were a good choice then and we progressed to a toilet seat and now he even stays dry during the night!

So, basically hold in there! Sorry I went on

going4potty · 09/12/2005 21:48

LOL JP. yOUR LITTLEONE REMINDS ME OF mine. he use to pee a tiny little drop for the sticker! IME the longer you leave it the easier it is. Ds was nearly 35 months, but it only took a week for the wees and a month for the poos.

xmasmcmudding · 10/12/2005 14:05

Ds was 3 in September and we started in real pants in March of this year.

He was showing all the signs you're supposed to look for.

10 MONTHS LATER all wees and poos are still in pants if he's left to his own devices. IfI take him to the loo every couple of hours or so then there'll maybe be only one accident a day.

Even with a real stinker of a dump in his pants he'll lie through his teeth and say " Oh no mummy there isn't a poo in my pants, it's just gas."
or even better "It's ok mummy you can put the pants in the washing machine!"

He's now 3.4 and I've finally relented and put him in pull ups.

He was in cloth nappies from birth until March and I was promised faithfully by cloth nappy users that he would be trained earlier than most. At this age, he's the only one of his peers still wearing pull-ups during the day.

Basically he doesn't give a fig about having wet or dirty pants.

How do I make him understand that he needs to use a toilet??????

FIMBObellsFimbleAllTheWay · 10/12/2005 14:21

My dd (now 7) refused point blank to potty train. Shortly after her 3rd birthday, I got so fed up of pooey nappies I told her she was to go on the potty and after a couple of accidents she took to it, like a duck to water, she also became dry at night very very quickly. My ds turned 2 yesterday and I have a very competitive friend with a ds 6 weeks younger than my ds but this child walked at 9 months and I can just imagine what is coming next...........but she can bu33er off!

HRHQueenOfQuelNoel · 10/12/2005 14:23

DS1 was 3 weeks shy of his 3rd birthday when I initiated potty (well toilet actulaly he hated the potty). I suppose in reality he wasn't really ready - and I'd have been better off waiting until he was 3 (like some of my friends did). However, DS2 was due 3 months after DS1 turned 3 and I didn't want to be stressing about potty training while having a new baby in the house.

I won't lie - it took about 3 weeks - and the first week was hell - I was washing about 7 pairs of pants a day - he knew what he was supposed to be doing - but didn't care if he was soaking wet - and it would only be when I found the wet patch - or saw the damp patch on his clothes that I'd realise. 2nd week was better, and by week 3 we'd cracked it

HRHQueenOfQuelNoel · 10/12/2005 14:25

bobbybob - I've got to ask - what age did your DS come out of the cot - I'm curious

bamboo · 10/12/2005 14:28

I fell for the cloth nappies line too xmasmcmudding! DD was over 3 before she was out of nappies.

I think you're doing the right thing by waiting. DD sussed it really quickly in the end with few accidents. It's hard not to compare with other mums. My niece is 6 months younger than DD and was in pants long before her but it turns out she's only now, a year or so later, happy to pooh in the toilet.

bobbybobbobbingalong · 10/12/2005 18:07

Came out of cot about 2 months ago - we went on holiday and he slept in a bed (which he had done before, but this time we got tough).

On the plus side, never needed a bed rail, and he's only fallen out once (when being sick).

Ds doesn't feel pain, doesn't mind being wet and dirty, doesn't feel hungry. I think this is our main issue.