Okay so everyone with a nearly 3 year old plus who is nowhere near potty trained please let me know I am not alone.

[bobbybob]

Ds will be 3 at the end of Feb 06 and deep down I know that it is fine that he has no concept of what is required. But when everyone I know in RL has done it, I just want to know that in the much more sensible and probably more honest world of mumsnet that I am not alone.

A lot of it is that I just can't be arsed and am waiting for ds to decide to do it himself. We go out a lot to places like the zoo with 2 toilets about 2km apart, and I bike or walk to places rather than take the car.

I am rather tempted to send him to preschool for the whole week and let them sort it out.

Message withdrawn

xmasmcmudding,

Yes I think you should regard the pullups as pants, and encourage him to use the loo/potty whenever possible. When he is successful, be ludicrously over the top with praise and rewards. When he wets/messes ignore him until he consents to take off the pullups and be washed, then do that with as little fuss / conversation as possible.

Maybe one day when you have no plans to go out, you could tell him you have run out of pullups. He either wears proper pants or goes without bottom clothes for the day. See how that goes.

I do sympathise. I'm a small, disabled lady with a boy who is physically (and mentally) well developed. I remember those tussles when he was 3.

ds wont wear pull ups. Plus I dont see the point in them, they are just nappies I think. They dont know they are wet in them do they?
DS done another wee on loo and 2 on the floor!!!

DS's were in cloth, but when they outgrew the size they were in at about 2.5 I put them in the cheapest savers nappies available- the sensation of being wet is, I think, a big contributory factor to them being ready. or you could buy some packs of terries and a few basic wrpas: I wouldn't spend too much though, it kicks in overnight when it happens.

another wee on the loo!!

sO it's true - it really is "Now they can't, suddenly they can" sort of transformation.

At the back of my mind, I'm hoping that a couple of weeks of not feeling wet for the first time in his life in the pull ups will make him like the sensation. He's never complained about being dirty or wet in cloth and yesterday said he liked doing wees in his pants?!

Maybe when the pull ups run out (and they will have to before I go broke) then he'll feel wet and not like it having been dry for a fortnight.

Ps - we did use Imse Vimse Bumpy training pants for a while and they were ok if I watched him like a hawk and led him to the toilet, but he would do full wets in them and they just couldn't take it.

I'll have a look at Ellashouse - I considered them for dd and hemp sounds good rather than having to invest in a whole cloth bum covering wardrobe too! It's got to be cheaper than more pull ups.

Has anyone tried a Minki YO-YO cloth pull up?

My dd trained around 2.5, but her friend the same age (3 and 3 months now) is nowhere near. But they're having some problems with it.

Our ( very bright and articulate) DD refused to potty train until she was ready. She decided to do this 3 weeks before her third birthday. Ditto being dry at night. She only decided she woudl give up her nappy at night when she was 5 years 6 months old.So she could read fluently but was still wearing nappies!!!!!

She is a very determined child

bobbybob, my DD was 3y1m when I potty trained her, having tried at 2y, 2y3m and 2y6m. I am a definite advicate of leaving it 'late' as they often have a better understanding and muscle development (to recognise the sensation of needing to go) when they are that little bit older, it makes it so much easier. DD was fully trained and accident free within 10 days, whereas before we were stressed and frustrated by failed attempts when she just wasn't ready.

Don't worry, Bob will train when he is ready

my others all did it themseves so i am sure DS will too!!

Hello!!! havent had chnce to read all this yet but my ds is also 3 at the end of feb and my sisters ds who is 6 weeks older than my ds is dry and has been for about 3 months now my ds is showing absolutley NO sign whatsoever of using the toilet at all - he has used it once or twice and so he knows what he is supposed to do, but he just wont do it and he refuses when i bring it up! just had to change his very smelly bottom 3 times so far today, its bad enough but when you change a new baby's nappy (dd who is 13 weeks) it makes the older childs nappy seem soooo much worse! yuk!!

Haven't read all the messages, but thank you to everyone who has admitted that their three year-old is still in a cot. DS2 is 3 next week and still in his cot. Sorted potty training only last month very quickly with the use of chocolate button bribery. He was too big for the potty but is quite happy with a seat on the toilet.
He ASKS to go to bed (or rather the cot) at seven o'clock and sleeps through till seven the next morning. As DH says, when I am worrying about whether he should go into a big boy bed - why?
OK, but the other thing is that the cot is still in our room. Are we the only ones?

Just out of interest - all those whose 3 year old are late with being dry - do they have any speech problems at all??? Mine does and the SALT reckons it could be linked to his delayed speech.

ds3 will be 3 at the beginning of Jan and like many others on here, is reluctant to be dry or clean. he is quite happy sitting in pooey nappies. On the occasions I have put him on the loo he will wee and once he did a poo, but HE just doesn't want to yet.

I have learnt to chill. I was getting quite stressy about it as my older 3 were clean and dry, day and night, by the age of 2 and a half. As so many people keep telling me, he will when he wants to and not before.

Sam doesn't have speech problems- in fact he was fluent by 18 mo, very advanced like that. Stirling has glue ear so hasn't got clear speech, but he went to playschool well before he was dry and he could talk fluently (if not clearly) by then.

Harry is 2.5 though and not likely to be dry before 3, and cn say hardly anything except Bag and Oh No. (He can say pama pa also which translates as Post Man Pat.

Ds was also v advanced with his speech - 3 words together at 15 mo etc. So now I get a blow by blow account of where he was and what he was doing each time he soiled himself and why he was too busy to go the toilet and how "perhaps I'll do a poo in the toilet when I'm a big boy at school" (that was this morning as he pooed in his pull ups in fornt of me )

MIL describes his toilet use (or rather lack of) as his Achilles Heel cos he's been so blimmin perfect at everything else - it all had to crumble somwhere along the line....

Bob is another amazing talker, so it doesn't look like it's always related.

Yesterday he was sat on the potty before bed (because we are sick of changing poo nappies in his sleep, and his bum is looking sore) and much to his surprise he started to wee. So he stood up and stopped. I asked him if he could make more wee come out and lo and behold he got the idea that HE could start and stop urine.

So we asked him if he could open his bottom and make a poo come out. This image did work and he did poo a small amount. He kept standing up and looking in for a progress report.

Anyway he was very happy with himself.

I have found the reuseable pull up pant (terry inside, with plastic and then normal outer) the best as the wee just pools inside and bob can really feel it. Normal undies he just soaks through and into the outer trousers and doesn't seem to mind.

My ds is gross! he will sit in a sh**ty nappy all day if i let him, he quite often boggles the sides of his nappy to see if he can see his poo in there! - eewww!! i have taken his nappy off and let him run around the house naked to see if this has any effect, he just stands there watching his wee run down his leg and he says "ooops" " oh dear" and runs off again! he sat and crapped on my kitchen floor the other day and then told grandma ALL about it on the phone!

No speech problem here either. He was a bit slower getting going but once he started he nevr looked back.
He wouldnt tell me if his nappy was dirty either.
We seem to be getting a bit closer. maybe next week when I plan to be in most days we will crack it!

Same as last time here - a couple of good days and then he gets some weird idea at the moment it's that he can't do "2 things" at once. So if I say "sit on your potty and then you can have a sticker" he says:

"that's two things arghhhhhhhhhhhh"

I'm giving up again, but it is so obvious because he wears cloth nappies, so he has this massive bulky bum while the others are all streamlined. Oh well.

Been looking at this thread just quickly, ds2 is 2 and a half, also has amazing speech, but also is far too busy most of the time to say he needs a wee or poo, will sometimes tell me he has done a poo in his nappy but othertimes sits in it for ages. He also has big bottom obvious because of cloth nappies, I do believe though that its not worth trying to potty train ,teach reading etc before a child is ready.

Bob is deffo going to be able to read before he is potty trained, He's much more interested in that.

my dd1 is almost 3 1/2 and nowhere near ready for toilet training... she has down syndrome so that is an added factor BUT i found we were rarely in any number of days for me to work on it. However now it is the summer holidays I am hoping when dh is home to be occupied with dd2 I can work on dd1.

Down syndrome aside - she is soo not interested in the toilet in any way shape or form. I find if I worry about something and try and push it - never works but if I leave her almost to her own devices - she suddenly gets it and we are off.

Went out today and ds wanted to check out every toilet - even sat on one of them. i feel that he is waiting until it is all straight in his mind before he goes for it.

No, I have a sister who will be 3 next month...she is still in nappies too

no my dd1's speech is advanced for her age