How do you make your partner take candid photos/videos of YOU with your children?

[mamathatwantscandidmemories]

I swear to god, I am disappearing from captured memories. If it wasn’t for my selfies and staged videos I would have nothing candid to look back at. I have so many candid videos of my husband and our daughter and they are the most wholesome short videos. He says that I need to ask him, and I do, sometimes, but the moment is gone when I actually ask him and then pretend to be “in the moment”. Also sometimes I just feel I’m nagging him to do it. I just wish he would just think of taking the phone out and capturing a few candid moments there and there each week and sending those to me later. I made this collage and mini video of their candid moments together and got so sad when I realised I have nothing like that. What do you do? How do you make them into a habit to actually start doing it without asking? Help a new mama xx

How does he remember anything? He can do that. A reminder on his phone every hour one Sunday! Surely it's not beyond the realms of his abilities.

The short answer is that I don’t. If you have to ask they are no longer candid snaps!
I have loads of dh with the dc when they were little and all the way growing up, not really any of me with them. I now ask him to take one of me and the dc when we are out for a nice dinner once or twice a year, that’ll do. A staged photo but at least we are all wearing nice clothes I suppose 😂

Cfds

Sorry but why do you need candid
videos?

Has nobody got a memory or imagination anymore ? Why does everything have to be photographed or videoed?

Perhaos you should concentrate on just enjoying your life instead of expecting someone to film you all the time. And why you are videoing your H and your DD all the time? It sounds pretty warped to me.

I know, it sounds so simple. But he just doesn’t think of doing it without me asking. I did think about calendar reminders, but his work is very irregular so he works some weeks here some week away, some days off and some days don’t come back till midnight. So that’s just not feasible. But thank you for a potential way to do something about it xx

Oh yes, I just want to avoid not having memories together to look back upon when I am 60 years old. I love rewatching her younger months and years. But it mainly just videos of her or of her and the dad haha. And yes completely agree if I need to ask for a photo first then it defeats the purpose of a candid memory. So just wanted to ask online to see if some other mums like me do something that has helped them xx

There is a great comedy song about this by Riki Lindhorne.

I feel like your comment is super judgmental. I asked for a genuine advice rather than your opinion that I shouldn’t even want to have captured memories of my daughter and I together… if you don’t have any advice then don’t even comment negatively with so much judgement.. we actually have Alzheimer’s running in our family and I am documenting each month by creating mini videos of photos and videos in that month.. so if it happens to me.. I could them rewatch our life together… but even if it doesn’t happen, I can still see myself sitting down when I am 60 and rewatching these videos of us together…

No advice as same situation here. There’s not a single video of me and my dd from her first few years and a handful of photos (mainly selfies). There a few more with ds but thats because I got dd to take them!

Love it! Made my day haha

I'm sorry but wanting to live your life with someone filming you all the time is just warped.

Have you watched the Truman Show? Because thats what springs to mind when you are so desperate to live your life for the camera rather than live your life for the experience.

I have virtually no photos of me and my second dd together. It makes me so sad. I have video footage at birthdays etc when I’m basically ignoring the kids and running around talking to adults and getting cake so that’s no help either. Just keep nagging him. I archive all of our digital photos and they are lovely memories to look back on.

Errrmmm who said filming me all the time?? You are
putting words in my mouth. I specifically said a candid moment there and there. Not filming me non stop. That would be absolutely be nuts anyway. It’s not a reality show. And I do not film my husband non stop either. Only when there is a cute moment that I want to save. And again your comment was so unnecessary and unproductive and judgmental when I specifically asked for an advice

Yes, that’s me too. And I do nag haha, but it just doesn’t feel as authentic anymore :/ hoping someone has found something that helped them and that could share

Well as a pp said if you have to ask him to film you then it's not a candid moment is it?
Sounds as though thses videos aren't as important to him as to you.

I know what you mean about the incidental photos.
I'd say your DH is not a mind reader so have a chat him and let him know how you feel. Or even just say, if something's happening, 'Hey DH, take a few snaps of us on the swings' or whatever.

Yes, and I agreed that I do not want to ask/nag for a photo/video of a candid moment as that makes it not as authentic anymore. And that’s why I am here asking for an advice from other mums who perhaps did something that changed it. My husband just doesn’t take photos or videos in general but loves rewatching videos that I compile and make and he is very grateful for them

Yeah I’ve had a few chats like that. He would snap a moment or two and then never again. I just can’t get him into a habit of doing it without me needing to ask for it or having “the chat” about it. Just really want to instil a habit or snapping a fee candid moments of us there and
there

My mum tried to enforce this on me/ others.The more she does this, the more I do not want to do whip out my phone. Ever! We call her a paparazzi and shoo her away like a blue ass fly! Granted, if it wasn’t for her, we’d have no pictures and I love looking through pictures but just cannot bear that eagerness. It’s a rag to a bull for me

@mamathatwantscandidmemories , I don't think it's ever going to be a habit for him so you'll just have to prompt him when it's a good time for you.

I completely get this. I even once paid for someone to do a professional photoshoot just so I had some pictures of me with the children. Selfies are awful (of me)

You can’t “make” your partner do anything (first rule of marriage right there…)

However I every so often I would ask my husband to take a picture of us.

I see. Hopefully my daughter won’t feel the same. I normally just try to capture undisturbed moment, so they aren’t really aware of it. But i completely get it that it can be annoying when you are asked to stop and smile for a photo etc. but I really do want to have some candid memories of me being a mum to my DH

Yes, I would actually consider yearly family photoshoot maybe. But I just really want some candid “in the moment” short videos from our everyday lives

No, of course not. And that’s why I ask for it less, so I am not seen as “nagging”. But I feel like there should be some
comprise too, if I feel unhappy not having any candid memories captures of my DD and I