How do you make your partner take candid photos/videos of YOU with your children?

[mamathatwantscandidmemories]

I swear to god, I am disappearing from captured memories. If it wasn’t for my selfies and staged videos I would have nothing candid to look back at. I have so many candid videos of my husband and our daughter and they are the most wholesome short videos. He says that I need to ask him, and I do, sometimes, but the moment is gone when I actually ask him and then pretend to be “in the moment”. Also sometimes I just feel I’m nagging him to do it. I just wish he would just think of taking the phone out and capturing a few candid moments there and there each week and sending those to me later. I made this collage and mini video of their candid moments together and got so sad when I realised I have nothing like that. What do you do? How do you make them into a habit to actually start doing it without asking? Help a new mama xx

Oh I know and our photoshoot was terrible as well. £80 for a load of crap photos!

What is wrong with you?

It's totally normal to want photos and videos to look back on which include yourself and not always to be posed/ unnatural.

When my Ds was young I did take lots of photos of him, right from.birth. Because I loved him and he was, and is, the most important thing in my life.
But I'm not in even a small percentage of those photos. Because I don't have an ego. The photos aren't about me. They are about him.
If OP has photos of her child, which she obviously does because she said so,why does she need to be in them? Why do they have to to be about her? That is about ego and not about memories of her child.

It is about her connection with her child. I love seeing pictures and videos of myself with my son, it represents our connection and our journey together.

Perhaps different people want different photos and record things in a different way to you.

To call someone "warped" for this is vile. Don't you have anything more important to be so unpleasant about?

Oh my god what the actual f*. Seriously? Majority of people did and still have photo albums full of photos of themselves WITH their parents, and god forbid something happened to either of the parents, the child will be forever grateful that he/she had photos and videos of themselves TOGETHER, not just looking at themselves as a child… Your comments are so unproductive and you are just pushing your personal opinion on EVERYONE ELSE who want to have memories together. I’m not asking my husband to take photos just of me lol. What is actually wrong with you???

My DH died when my son was 18. He was devastated at the time and still misses his dad all.these years later. Did he sit looking at photos of his Dad? No. We have plenty of photos of his Dad, my H., though of course no videos because mobile phones were just becoming a thing when his Dad died. We never look at them because it doesn't enter our heads to do so. They aren't important.

Does my son need photos or videos yo remember his Dad. NO. It crops up so regularly in our every day conversation: Do you remember your Dad used to say?. Do you remember you the joke your Dad used to make? . Do you remember when we went to such a place? Memories of the life we lived and the happy times we had. Real experience doesn't need photos and videos because it is inside ourselves.

I am actually sorry to hear that he passed away. But I would never think to tell people how they should or should not live their lives… everyone is different, and what might suit you, might not suit me. So that’s fine if you don’t enjoy looking back at memories in the same way I do. But I do. So that’s why I created this thread. And I was asking for an advice. Not an opinion whether it’s the right or wrong thing to do. So this is very inappropriate of you calling me xyz for wanting videos and photos together with my child

Well yes everyone is differnt . If that is your view point then why do you not accept that whereas you want to take your candid videos your H doesn't want to? You are wanting to force him to be the same as you.

Errrm when did I say he doesn’t want to? He just never thinks of doing it himself. Why are you so bitter? Why are you commenting here so much anyway, if you have no actual advice towards my query? I simply want to
have some candid memories with my child. And I am definitely not the only one if you read the other comments. Can you just stop posting on this thread? You are just spreading so much negativity

Why do you need photos to remind you of your child?

Why does anyone need a photo for anything?

Answer: We don't, but they are nice to have to look back on.

OP, I really think this poster is just trolling at this point so would just ignore tbh.

Yeah I won’t entertain it anymore. Some people online have no life and are so bitter that they just love spreading their own negativity around. Pretty ridiculous when mums should support fellow mums..

I get you OP I have the same issue. I’m not in many photos of videos

You don't 'make' your partner, because that's weird. And how are your selfies and stage videos 'candid', because that's not what it means.

Well yes you are right . I took frequent photos of my child from birth until 3 or 4 because he was so lovely to me and the changes in his development were so wonderful. I dont look at the photos now because they are etched on my memory without looking. So I don't need them although I thought i did at the time

But OP has these videos of her H and her child. Tbh she just sounds miffed that her H doesn't see the necessity of taking videos with her in them. It doesn't sound as though this about her memories with her child so much as the dent to her ego that her H doesn't take videos with her in them. Otherwise why is it so important to her that she is in the videos if it's her child that is the focus?

Sure that was a bad choice of words, nothing more. And no, I meant I want candid captured memories, because mostly what I have are selfies and stages videos - which are not candid

Just get a life and stop commenting here if you are so bitter

I'm sorry but tbh this whole candid video/ candid memories thing is totally new and weird concept to me. When did candid become a thing?
Perhaps it's also something outwith your H's experience? Perhaps he is more grounded in actually living real life rather than life through the lense?
If you need a camera to experience your life with your child that is just so sad,.

I'm not bitter OP.
It's you whose nose is out of joint because your H isn't taking photos of you.

lol the saddest thing out of all of this is YOU :D

Sure let’s call this all the other mums here who commented that they want captured memories with their own children. You are absolutely crazy putting others down like that

Please explain.
All I've said basically is you have videos of your DD and your H so what is the issue? You cant make him want to take videos of you. What is so sad about that?

I don't but he will usually offer to take photos off his own bat now and then. We don't really do videos at all.

Look at how you are commenting. What words you are using to call others. How you are pushing your opinion on what people should do or should not do. That’s the issue. And yes the saddest thing about all of this is - YOU. So just stop commenting here at all. I want to hear from others