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Original poster

god sometimes I just think my kids are really really thick

156 replies

Twiglett · 31/12/2007 09:51

my 3.5 year old just can't count

she just can't

1,2, pee ummmm pour 8 pie ten

and she wants to do these stupid letts study books because she loves them

but she's driving me mad

how difficult is it

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
bran · 31/12/2007 10:11

Have you tried counting chocolate buttons? DS is a sharp as a tack if you offer him 5 buttons but only give 3 or 4.

ValnBen · 31/12/2007 10:11

She might even be being CLEVER

Original poster
Twiglett · 31/12/2007 10:13

if you do it again "I will poke you with a stick"

OP posts:
Tortington · 31/12/2007 10:15

pmsl i love you twig.

real parenting hoorah!

i think what you need to remember is that teachers get training for this and have to have a wualification and what seems like apieve of pis to you isnt to her and most importantly

teaching is a skill

Original poster
Twiglett · 31/12/2007 10:18

hehehehehheh .. finally worked out how to do it

no, not counting

"DD" says I "can you go and tell me what's on the television please?"

off she trots

total silence, apart from whatever is on the tv of course for at least 3 mins

OP posts:
PrufrockingAroundTheXmasTree · 31/12/2007 10:19

Oh it is infuriating isn't it. One of dd's school books the other day was about Roy. That's R O Y. No "N". So why the fuck did she insist on calling him Ron every bloody time. 11 times this name was printed, 11 times she said RON, 11 times I said "Let's try again, sound out the letters" It took all my calm serenity and knowledge that my mother calling me stupid was how I ended up in very expensive therapy to not yell "Show me the N, Show me the N"

Cappuccino · 31/12/2007 10:20

pmsl laughing at 'ron'

dd1 spelt out (eventually) apatosaurus the other day in her reading book

then ever after when she reached it she said 'pterodactyl'

any dinosaur name in a storm

I didn't know where to start

lilmissmummy · 31/12/2007 10:21

pmsl at this thread!

I soooooooo know how you feel! I remember trying to teach ds1 to read he was 5 at the time and he would read a word and then 2 lines down the same word would come up and he would be completely unable to read it!!! and it was all the time not just a one off thing!! I could've killed him it was so frustrating!

I've never had the urge to bang my head against a wall so much! I think there was quite a few occassions where I just disolved into tears in utter rage!

I ended up refusing to teach him anything or to do his reading with him!

PrufrockingAroundTheXmasTree · 31/12/2007 10:22

I do have a solution to your problem though twig - dd got a "school set" for Xmas - she'd been talking about it since the summer so has now taken over as teacher for ds - she very patiently helps him to add up and subtract using his fingers, and the other day he very proudly came through with a certificate she had given him with 9/10 for "gob fyrworks" (still got a bit of d and b confusio here)

lennygirl · 31/12/2007 10:24

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BandofMothers · 31/12/2007 10:24

ROFL, SHOW ME THE "N"

BandofMothers · 31/12/2007 10:26

SNORT, this is so funny, DD1 does that with song words, and you can't tell her thatshe's singing the wrong ones, it doesn't matter how many time syou correct her she still sings the wrong ones, sometimes totally made up words too.

Is so funny tho. Can't think of any exapmles now

MellowMa · 31/12/2007 10:30

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lennygirl · 31/12/2007 10:32

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Julezboo · 31/12/2007 10:43

ohh mellow my DS calls in an intendo too i think its cute!

BandofMothers · 31/12/2007 10:45

DD1 comes out with some corkers, but now I am sat here trying to remember some, I can't
Damn my goldfish/post 2 babies memory

MellowMa · 31/12/2007 11:07

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fpesha · 31/12/2007 11:37

When bfing a baby ds1, dd (who was jsut 3 at the time) was doing a tweenies jigsaw. It was a simple jigsaw wih only a few pieces. I was bfing as I said and she was on the floor in front of me so I had to try and help her jusy by giving instructions. It was SOOOOOOOOO infuriating

'No that's Bella's foot dear, where do you think her foot goes? No not on her head dear. I think maybe her leg. Her LEG. That blue thing at the bottom. THERE. No the other way up. No not face down. I meant with the laces at the top. No the top of the shoe, not the top of her head'

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

lilmissmummy · 31/12/2007 11:58

My 3 yr old dd's favourite songs are:- I pwedick a why ot and miss you a merry mismas oh and my personal favourite incy wincy spidy.

Cappuccino · 31/12/2007 12:00

lololol at jigsaw

'look at the piece! look at the piece! stop just jamming it in and LOOK AT THE PIECE'

motherinferior · 31/12/2007 12:05

I am paralysed with cold horror at the prospect of DD2 learning to read next term (she starts school next Monday). I am SO NOT GOOD at being sympathetic and encouraging.

I bloody love their teachers. I want to shower them with chocolates for the simple ability not to degenerate into the screaming harridan that Reading Practice reduces me to.

Fubsyinapeartree · 31/12/2007 12:14

ROFL at this - just like my house! DDs teacher is some kind of sadist - makes me read with the kids in her year who's parents are teachers and saints, so I end up thinking DD(6) ought to be able to read like they do.

She said to me once - (DD not teacher) "I dont need to read, you can do it for me!"

She always spells with as wiv - I was teased as a child for speaking posh, now im bringing up a child who talks like Jamie Oliver FFS.

Tamum · 31/12/2007 12:23

I had to leave the room when dd was trying to do calculations involving time for fear I would end up screaming. I was already getting very loud .... I had just explained so many times.

She asked me the other day "where have I heard the name George Bosh?" which reduced me to tears of laughter for some reason.

moljam · 31/12/2007 12:24

im so glad its normal to have no patience!!!!im rubbish,i start calm but end up saying you know it remember we did this 5 seconds ago.i hate explaining over and over again.im going to rubbish when they do exams.

FluffyMummy123 · 31/12/2007 12:25

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