god sometimes I just think my kids are really really thick

[Twiglett]

my 3.5 year old just can't count

she just can't

1,2, pee ummmm pour 8 pie ten

and she wants to do these stupid letts study books because she loves them

but she's driving me mad

how difficult is it

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(I do admit to hating bloody jigsaw puzzles, though, can't bear the 'no, turn it round, no, the other way' conversation.)

I completely agree with Cashncarry

I very much doubt that any of us truly believe that this is a sign our children are thick or would even for one second think about calling them thick

It is about frustration.

Twig said very early on that SHE did not want to do the workbook. Unless I am mistaken it was a free Letts thing that seemed such a bright idea at the time, and it is only when you get it that you realise just how much parental involvement every tiny bit requires.

Edam, jigsaw puzzles are mind-numbing. My DW loves them and they drive me insane. I just refuse to do them.

Agree that it can often be frustrating, especially when your children won't do stuff that you know they can do.

The times I have asked DD to work out, say 31 minus 20 (helping her with homework) and she starts splaying her fingers out to count... I want to scream "NO! NO! Do NOT get your FINGERS out! You can DO this in your HEAD!!"

Oooh yes - DD knows the word Cat - but she will sit and say "C - a - t.... Apple!"

She does it because she likes my face looking like . It must be a very pretty colour.

pmsl at this.....
i know it's a stage on but i was reduced to near nervous breakdown by trying to get ds1 (10) to understand acute / oblique angles....
am ashamed to say in end i said "ok. acute means sharp, like acute pain. see the acute angle made by these two index fingers? feel how sharp the angle is when i poke you? THAT'S ACUTE.... OK?"
it did work though. and he thought it was funny. really.

Pmsl at this thread too.

I have just spent 20 minutes with DS1 (7yo) trying to write his Christmas thank you letters. Doesn't matter how many times I tell him he still does the tall letters the same size as all the other letters and capital letters are even smaller! Arghh!

And why can't he copy what I have written for him? You would think I could have written it out and he could simply have copied it word for word but oh no. I had to sit with him for every bl**dy letter!

And now DS2 wants me to build some Lego car which is way too old for him. He got if for Christmas from some kind friend who has no children and doesn't realise the tedium of doing Lego all afternoon and being told to put the laptop down so I can get one with it - "have you finished it yet Mummy?" What a treasure!

Oh well, one of them is back to school tomorrow.

Perhaps I am taking it too seriously, I have got past the pre school stage so look back on it fondly! I know it can be frustrating-I think it was just the thought of a poor little 3yr old wanting to learn and not getting it!

Abbey - I can quite safely say from knowing twig on here for a long time that she definately doesn't believe that her dd is thick, nor does she ever (OK often) let her see that she is frustrated with her "stupidity". So please don't worry that we are all actually saying to our kids what we are saying on here

Sorry-only just found the board-taking it too literally-apologies!

My early 7yo can not

tell her left from her right
get herself dressed or undressed
cannot zip up a coat, put on a hate, put on mittens, or even put on velcro strap shoes.

She is dim to the point where I feel like banging my head (or hers) against a wall.

She has a very poor concept of maths and her handwriting is awful. I keep expecting her teacher to call me in for a chat.

When I was reminding ds2 (12) about the true meaning of Christmas, we had the conversation about the first Christmas and I was prompting him about what happened 2000 years ago. So he said 'But how do we know that Jesus was born in 2007?' Derrrr.....

Sorry! Me being thick now! He said 'But how do we know that Jesus was born in the year 07?'

Oi fortyplus that's not thick, just temporarily incapacitated.. In 1999 Dh and I were in Egypt at the son et lumiere show at the pyramids. They were advertising the upcoming millenium celebrations and I said "isn't it amazing to think that next year people are going to be celebrating the turn of the millenium at the same place as people celebrated it 4000 years ago" "yeah" he said " amazing" and about 5 seconds later we both realised....

One day it will all fall into place as long as I don't teach ever!

Have fond memories of DD learning how to read. She will sound out D O G, and then say Goat.

The best one was asking her which number was bigger, 0 or 1. She kept saying 0! We went over all the facts. 0 being nothing, etc and then she said 0 was fat and round, while 1 was skinny. I went to bed after that

It's lovely blaming the thick thing on the other side, the other parent - it comes so bloody naturally. However, should the lapse in clarity hail from your own genes the frustration is magnified x100 as there is nothing more infuriating than your own shortcomings, simplified and amplified. Gorgeous.

PrufrockingAroundTheXmasTree That sounds just like the sort of thing I'd say!

AbbeyA .. you're right (and rather brave too .. kudos ) .. I was just mouthing off at my level of frustration rather than really thinking my kids are thick ... I found it more amusing to vent on here .. don't worry

and I farkin' hate those Letts books

My favourite with my ds was:
'one body' and 'all the bodies'.

Before he went to school I had to tell him that it was really somebody and everybody!

Oh god, just remebered the joys of trying to teach the concepts of floating and sinking, volume and quantity to 3-5 year olds.

I actually really enjoyed doing this but would sometimes want to bang my head on the table with utter frustration!!!!

Also, trying to explain money values to young children who want to buy sweets with the tiny bit of change you have in your purse that you've just given them, and you haven't given them the EXACT same coins

" He's got more than me"

"No, you've both got 20p, he's just got more coppers than you"

"yeah but he's got more"

Deep breath, count to ten........

Dont worry AbbeyA you will soon learn who is who, so to speak, on here. Some names crop up more often and you get a sense of their level of humour.

OH BTW Welcome to the crazy world that is MN.

pmsl at this thread, agree with AbbeyA but her posts weren't nearly as funny

Where have I heard that the best thing for kids is not to have any formal education until they're 6 or 7? Sounds good to me... Means I don't have to worry about this with my little one for at least 4 years!

My brother was called into school about his DD (approx 8yo ish). She had coloured in a waterfall picture beautifully, it had flowers, birds & a rainbow. Then she had to write about how the picture made her feel - "Lonely, dark, alone with only eggs to eat". Brother asked her if that was really how she felt, to which she laughed and said "no, I just love the look on the teacher face when I write that stuff".

This is the same child that when we were going out one day I asked did I look OK, she said yes, she'd seen people looking a lot worse.

ROFL Classic absolute classic. This thread is wonderful

My dd came along to my ww meeting yesterday (as not back at school yet).

At the end of the meeting she kept saying very loudly - WHEN ARE WE GOING TO THE PUB/MUMMY WE REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE PUB - in a mad alcoholic-needing-a-fix type of way.