god sometimes I just think my kids are really really thick

[Twiglett]

my 3.5 year old just can't count

she just can't

1,2, pee ummmm pour 8 pie ten

and she wants to do these stupid letts study books because she loves them

but she's driving me mad

how difficult is it

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

PMSL at this thread... I can't wait til DD (2.11) gets to this stage (not)!

Although, DH was having the jigsaw thing with her thisaffy after being round at our friend's house - his DD (3.1) is some kind of jigsaw wizard - takes a split-second look at the box then her hands are a blur of action and 30 seconds later the jigsaw is done.

Obviously DH took this as some kind of slur on his masculinity (testosterone levels of course being indicated by your infant daughter's ability to put a jigsaw together) and his competitive hackles were duly raised - so all I could hear this afternoon was 'no, a corner has 2 straight lines, doesn't it? Look. There. THERE! Yes, that's right, but that doesn't really fit, does it? Would the fairy have her head on her foot? No. NO! Try the other hole. THE OTHER HOLE!' - I kept well out of it...

great - I thought it was just my dd who read like that! (she makes up words loosely based on the first letter of the printed word) Mum had her at the shop a few days ago and dd picked up sweets worth 25p, mum argued that dd didnt have enough in her purse, but dd goes "of course I do nana - a 2p and a 5p..2 and a 5 is 25..." argh, mainly cause just 2 hours before I spent 20 mins in local shop explaining that concept over 55p milk. she also doesnt get why change in a shop is less than what i gave the person at the till in first place. how hard is that to grasp???

This thread is fab, brings back memories of the children I have worked with over the years.

My DGD (darling God-daughter)2.3 is starting to become aware of numbers and counts everything '2,4 2,4 2,4...' Quite cute now but we're hoping she adds a few more numbers to her vocabulary before too long.

A little boy,2.8 I teach at sunday school made me crack up recently whilst we were drawing pictures.

*Me, picking up a blue pen "What colour is this one?

*Child "Green"

*Me "No, it's blue, What colour is this one" Holds up pink pen

*Child "Green"

*Me "No. it's pink"

I picked up every non-green cloured pen on the bloody table and for each one he answered "Green"
So i picked up the green on and said, in a lovely calm voice

"This one's green, look a green one. What colour is it?

*Child "Yellow"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Why do I work with kids????????

WHY?

WHY???????

You think you've got problems with your dcs?

I spent years teaching "silver surfers" how to use internet banking. I was extremely patient and would let them go through it step by step.

Then my parents got t'internet.

I was a seething ball of rage after spending about 10 mins with them.

I visualise hitting my dad over the head with the keyboard. (He has about 10 anti virus/anti spy/adware programs on the go) I scream inwardly when my mum prints the most boring e-mail. (Have you never heard of "SAVE" mother?) They're not old (only in their early 50s)

Rant over, that's better.

He he!!!

There are sooooo many stupidisms my dc have committed that maybe they should be.....

DD (age 5) calls the microwave a 'waver'. So much so that I now call it that. She sings the wrong words to lyrics (she loves singing) and then I find myself doing the same.

DS never used to be able to say moustache and for several years called it a bistoche.

There are so many more I can't remember.

LOL - the glove thing infuriates me (me shouting WHERE IS YOUR LITTLE FINGER THEN???) so dd now as mittens!

Teaching reading or maths is the work of the devil.

Me - How many lightbulbs do we need? I need 3 for upstairs and 3 for downstairs, how many does that add up to?

DD - ten

Me - no, what's 3 add 3?

DD - nine

Me - no(holds up hands), I've got 3 here and 3 here, how many is that?

DD - 6

Me - so how many do we need?

DD - 8?

only read the OP.

i know dd1 is thick.

and dd2 isn't.

still not as difficult as managing my own fucking depression after all this shite so i consider myself pretty damn lucky.

tbh, i wish i were born thick. being otherwise had never been anything but a PITA. it hasn't done me a lick of good.

ignorance is bliss, IMO.

Pink and sparkly - there is a book called Wobble Bear says Yellow whose author has clearly been in your situation!

Dd2 is pretty bright but has always had ishoos with observation. Hence the many conversations along the line of 'Oh, look at that tractor/horse/firework/castle/book/whatever that have concluded with her peering at the end of my finger.

She's 11 now and still can't see what's right in front of her nose.
'Have you seen my hairbrush?'
'Yes, it's next to you on the chair.'
'Where?'
'There, where you're sitting.'
'Where, I can't see it?'
'RIGHT THERE, YOU'RE SITTING ON IT. DON'T YOU HAVE ANY NERVES IN YOUR ARSE, FGS????'

My DD wil not be convinced that eleventeen isn't a number

My DD will not be convinced that eleventeen isn't a number

I Love this thread!

For some reason, teaching other people's children is never as frustrating as teaching your own.

Oh, I'm not sure I agree that other people's children are less frustrating - you have obviously not met some of my (now ex) pupils trying to learn the notes on the music stave.

Me:"This one here is A and this one is right next to it so it must be............"

The earth turns once

Pupil:"D?"

Me;"What comes after A in the alphabet?"

Earth turns twice

Pupil:"B"

Me"It's the same in music, so this one is an A and the one right after it must be........"

Pupil:"F?"

Me:"okay it's time to do some improvising now"

My ds's favourite song was "I predict a radish"

Thanks ladies I was dreading going back to work today & this has cheered me up no end.

I will now be late but turn up with a smile on my face & be nauseatingly cheerful!

I am was so concerned about my DD's lack of attention span, abilities to do...erm, most things... (and general talent for irritating the hell out of me) I've just had her tested (at great expense) for Dyspraxia.

Dear God they said she's 'normal'! In fact it's worse, she is well above average (around 2 years) for all the intelligence stuff.

That means it must be me

Excellent! DD2 (who is 6) islearning her tables and carefully wrote out her 3x. She showed me proudly, and yes, she had got them all right, but every 3 was back to front. Oh and the 7 as well. Before I could say anything she said "I know they're all back to front but I think they look better like that."

After DH listened to me "reading" with DD finally yelling "It's Like, like like, like, LIKE" he pointed out that that may not be the best way to get her to learn...

he may be right... she knows the word Like now though

DS1 (7.5): "DS2 just broke my model by purpose!"

me: "On purpose not by purpose. He broke it on purpose"

DS1: "See DS2, Mum said you did break it by purpose"

ARGHHHHHHHH

My DS can count he just cant grasp colours though it's like this

'DS what colour is this strawberry'

'Green'

'Not quite it's red, what colour is this orange?'

'Green'

FFS!

lololololol at the jigsaw stories

so true

dd2 says Glubs instead of Gloves

I correct her all the time, drives me MAD

also, it is always Snow White and the Seven dwarbs.

Me: "can you say V?"
dd2: "V"
Me: "Now say Dwarves..."
dd2 "Warbs"

oh fgs

I have hesitated to get involved with this thread in case everyone gets cross with me!
Your dd is NOT thick Twiglett, she is only 3.5 and has no concept of number so it is no good knowing the names.She shouldn't be on a work book, you should count stairs with her when you go up or down, count carrots into a bag for you in the supermarket, put 4 plates on the table, singe number rhymes, look at picture books etc, etc, etc. You need to go over and over things in fun ways.
The same with jigsaws, it is trial and error.
Someone is not thick if they don't get it the first time they are told!
Gloves are terribly difficult to manage!
With money you can play shops at home with a few tins and packets from the cupboard.
If you keep playdough in one place it shouldn't get trodden all over the house.
Children don't need expensive toys and the TV but they do need adult time.
I have written this once and then not posted because I am the first person not to agree but there must be someone else who agrees with me?

Oh tis only a bit of a moan - I think we are all venting our frustrations about our kids here rather than actually at the poor children in question!

Nobody who has posted on here would ever actually call their child 'thick' I'm sure.

I can understand where you're coming from Abbey but I do think you're missing the point, whether deliberately or not I don't know.

this thread is about "parenting" not about the intelligence of children. It's funny because it's refreshingly honest and frankly I'm relieved that I'm not the only person who has these thoughts flash through my mind when dealing with the frustrations of spending time with a 3 year old.

there's a time and a place for talk of inappropriate language and children and - IMO - this is not the time. You have to chill out a bit I think

Sorry to be boring, but no-one is born understanding these concepts. And 'eleventeen' or 'goed' or similar are actually quite clever - the child is using logical deduction to reach a conclusion. And working out that it ought to be regular, even though they have never heard anyone say 'eleventeen'. That's really very bright indeed. Not their fault that the English language is so tricky.