When I was in labour with Dd2 and having fairly strongish contractions, I asked Dh to play some silly games to take my mind of it all for a bit. Just something really easy and childish where I wouldn't have to think too hard. I suggested 20 questions. I went first and he guessed it quite quickly (heliopter, I think), and then it was his turn. I must have asked 50 questions. Totally clueless. Very frustrated. No closer to guessing it than I was after question 1. So I asked him to just tell me the answer. You know what he had picked? As something simple and easy as a quick distraction while his wife was preparing to push out a 9 pounder?
The Nobel Prize for Physics.
The Nobel fricking prize for sodding physics.
I laughed so hard when he revealed the answer that a midwife came running in as the comtraction chart went all screwy.
Other subjects
What is the most unintentionally funny thing your DP has said or done?
Psammead · 23/01/2013 21:34
I was in the day unit waiting for an operation, on NBM, we had been in the hospital for about five hours. DP popped out to text my parents and update them, and to move the car. He came back about half hour later. Asked him if he was alright as it had taken quite a while, he said it was fine, but looked a tad guilty. I was anxious as hell, so asked for a hug, he came and wrapped his arms around me, and I realised his jumper was covered in pastry crumbs.
The sneaky fucker had gone for an apple turnover without me 
I called him on the crumbs, and he got very flustered, eventually blurting out, "I was so bloody hungry, I ran down to the bakery, and then drank a bottle of water so you couldn't taste it and it wouldn't make you hungry. I'm really sorry, I just needed to eat."
It was hilarious, he felt so guilty. I had a pastry delivered to me on the ward the following morning 
I'm due another operation in six weeks time, I have started winding him up already...
When DH was my boyfriend, we went to the cinema to see American Pie. The first one - it was a long time ago! He bought a BUCKET-sized Coke as he didn't read the sign properly.
He got up in the middle of the film to go to the toilet (see aforementioned bucket of Coke), tripped on the top step and did a full arse over tit, forward roll fall down the central stairs before landing on his feet and leaving the room. There was a sort of stunned silence in the cinema for a few seconds.
When DH made it back from the toilet, the entire cinema gave him a round of applause. He took a small bow. Still makes me 
.
DH told me 3 times that we needed a new hour shed.
I was "What?"
Him: "A new hour shed FFS"
When I said I had completely no idea what one of those was (and I really didn't!) he pondered for a minute, then realisation dawned and he said
"Fuck me - it's a SHOWER HEAD!"
My husband,in a very bad mood, stomped off to go into the garden. He didn't see the cat, tripped over it, and landed arse first in the well used litter tray.
We were playing a quiz game on the Wii with some friends. It was a quick fire round, and DH's question was 'name something black'.
He was quiet for a few seconds and then said "squerrrrr". Then looked all embarrassed. He said that he meant to say squirrel, but actually meant skunk 
My DH thought I said. 'There's a walrus' when I was in labour. I actually said, That's my waters'
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My ex H was moving some furniture into his new flat when he tripped and fell over the kerb, landing flat on his face. Luckily he was carrying a mattress at the time. He just lay on the pavement laughing...
Omg I've really got the giggles at this thread, especially "cook my sock"
Baahaha!!
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