What is the most unintentionally funny thing your DP has said or done?

[Psammead]

When I was in labour with Dd2 and having fairly strongish contractions, I asked Dh to play some silly games to take my mind of it all for a bit. Just something really easy and childish where I wouldn't have to think too hard. I suggested 20 questions. I went first and he guessed it quite quickly (heliopter, I think), and then it was his turn. I must have asked 50 questions. Totally clueless. Very frustrated. No closer to guessing it than I was after question 1. So I asked him to just tell me the answer. You know what he had picked? As something simple and easy as a quick distraction while his wife was preparing to push out a 9 pounder?

The Nobel Prize for Physics.

The Nobel fricking prize for sodding physics.

I laughed so hard when he revealed the answer that a midwife came running in as the comtraction chart went all screwy.

I don't have a funny story to add, but just wanted to say this is the funniest thread I have ever read! I'm all alone and laughing like a loon

My ds was reading the tv pages and said in a French accent "les deni. What's that?" I looked and it was Les Dennis! Still makes me laugh.

For fear of outing myself...

My DH says super-flu-ous rather than su-per-flu-ous. I cried with laughter the first time thinking if a super hero called fluous!

He still says it to this day insisting he is right. hope to God I'm not wrong or you'll all get a good laugh at my expense!

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots , HAHA! your reply was very funny! bless you babs!

I read this through tears from laughing.

I got to the end and I'm still laughing at cook my sock

Funniest thread in ages.

DH has developed a rather peculiar bedroom habit. When he is really exhausted and goes into a deep sleep he does, what can only be described as a 'Woof' when he exhales. At first I was crying with laughter, now as soon as that first 'woof' starts I feel like taking him to the vets to be put down.

This has nothing to do with my dp but when I was at university at Lancaster.

Me: I'm gonna ring my mum back in a minute

Friend: it's a bit late, what's the time difference?

Me: what between here and Northern Ireland?

Friend: yes I thought you were an hour ahead.

I just walked away laughing haha

When visiting Holy Island, dh asked 'How did the tide stay out long enough for them to build this?'

Looking in the car rear view mirror one sunny day he noticed the sunshine making his ear look red... 'Look, you can see the daylight right through my ears'

Dh is a very very clever bloke so was chuffed when he hade the cock ups I usually do!

I did tell dh on phone earlier this week 'But the sky is so grey, I can't believe it's not snown'

Snown ffs!

BertieBotts

Thank you, disappointed now, thought it was something to get excited about.LOL

Sorry meant to say this is a great thread, should be in classics. Can't think of any examples for laughing so much.

Not DH, but a friends DBro. His mum was going away for the weekend in December, just after her birthday, on a 'Tinsel 'n' Turkey' coach trip.

On her birthday, he presents her with an envelope full of Turkish Lira. 'Thanks, but what's this for?' she says.

Him 'For your weekend away'.

Her 'But I'm going to Blackpool'.

Him 'You said you were going to Tinsel, in Turkey'.

Took me ages to get "with a Duck Duck here" too

MiniEggsinJanuary - is it not "Go Charlotte, it's your birthday"?

Not my DH but my mom. When my XDH was in ICU I sent my mom a text letting her know what was happening and she sent a response saying, "How awful, LOL". She was convinced LOL meant lots of love

One pancake day, dp was sent to the shop to buy a jif lemon. He came back with a jif lemon cleaning spray...

Tiger, it's "go shorty..."

Love this thread

I always sing, "duck duck" unintentionally

DH could reel off hundreds of mine, such as thinking that the channel tunnel goes through the water or that under-pitch heating is to keep pampered footballers warm, but I have one:

Me: DH why are you walking along in the road with PFB in the travel system?

DH: I AM LOOKING FOR A DROPPED KERB AND THERE ARE NONE FOR METRES AND METRES!

Me: Why?

DH: BECAUSE I NEED TO PUSH IT UP SAFELY ONTO THE PATH!

Me: How about gently tipping the bloody gargantuan thing that you thought best up a few centimetres? I mean, DS is in a harness in a carrycot on a sturdy base one hundred million times bigger than he is. I don't think he is going to notice.

DH: Really?

Me: Yes. That's what you do with pushchairs.

My DH is very well educated and pretty sensible.
He picked up an item of DDs clothing and, genuinely, asked what it was.
It was the same one of five stretchy bra things that she's been wearing for weeks.
He thought it was a pair of knickers because it didn't have hooks and eyes at the back.

Audrina - my DH does that too. He mooches miles up and down roads and pavements to find the 'essential' dropped kerb...

I had just been shopping with ex and he was putting it away. The bathroom was downstairs through the kitchen. He walked out of the bathroom saying i can't get this thing open. I turned to look at him and his mouth and nose were dark blue, he had a blue loo in his hand and was trying to get the wrapper that dissolves off with his teeth!

He was stained for days. It still makes me laugh now thinking of it.

namechanger11111. Also MrsDV's OH unwittingly aiding and abetting the jail break

Laughing like a drain here a DawnoftheDee's husband's animal ignorance.

DH is German. We were having a very slight disgreement once, right at the start of our relationship possibly about the best route to take somewhere or other. It was all quite gentle and fun, sort of ribbing each other a little, when all of a sudden he semi-shouted 'You are such a DICKHEAD' at me.

I was shocked and more than a little upset at this out-of-the-blue outburst and let him know. He was mortified. Dickkopf means a stubborn person in German. He was just calling me stubborn in a jovial, mock-angry way.

My DH is anal about following washing instructions, turning things inside out so they don't scratch the machine etc. This causes some tension in our house as I think life is too short, so separate whites and go for it (normally when he isn't about).

Anyway, I'd checked his work trousers pockets, done up the button and washed them. He went to pull them on and there was a huge rip down the seam - crotch to knee.

DH 'Didn't you check these'
Me 'Only the pockets, why whats up?' (thinking oh god what is it now)
DH 'Look. Didn't you see the staples?'

He then proceeds to tell me that his trousers had ripped at work (manual job) so he had used a stapler and stapled them back together.

He still wont admit its funny, I think its hilarious. And the precious washing machine survived unscathed.

Ooh I just remebered in the telling of the dickhead story, right after he called me a dickhead and I protested, he said 'wait. I didn't mean dickhead. I meant thick-head. You're a thickhead' i protested again and he said 'but you a bit of a thickhead, you really are'. It took us ages to get to the bottom of it. Bloody miracle we're still together