Welcome to the Seventh Heaven Tea Room (BYOB. Biscuits, crisps and cake provided)

[Catitainahatita]

Hello and welcome to the seventh incarnation of the tearoom.

If you have found us by chance and/or curiousity you must know that the tearoom is a virtual safe haven for all those seeking a friendly word, a good cuppa and plenty to snack on. By virtue of its magic nature, no food can cause any physical damage, so chocolate, alcohol, transfat and all such can be consumed guilt- (and magically calorie-) free.

We have a wide range of soft-furnishing to relax on; a lovely garden with a swing and a ha ha; a variety of animals; a spa and (for some unknown reason) an apidistra.

Everyone is welcome, if you have one child, ten or none at all. We are a tolerant and fisticuffs-free zone. Instead we employ our energies swooning at Mellors the Gardner cum handiman thinking a silly things to get up to.

Please come in and say hello. You never know, you may end up joining us ...

jacksmama- its a fasinator. Offical uniform of the tea room.
He was toying with one at the shop on saturday, so with very little encouragement he tried it on and loved looking at himself in a mirror .

Mellors is famous. And not for his carpentry skills, it seems.

Sorry MadBad, I couldn't find it, and DH has done the recycling before I rescued it. Mellors was mentioned in a phrase something like 'a good seeing to from Mellors the gardener'

Oh dear. It is 10pm, and I haven't finished either of my presentations. This is not good

Has anyone opened the Bolly yet?

Good to see that UniBoy is in touch with his feminine side. A very handsome fellow.

Sorry. Can't compose a lucid sentence. I am, like ...... rendered .... sort of .... speechless ...... Mellors .... Liz Hurley ....... err ...... fireside rugs .... it's, like, too shocking ...... kind of ...... like .... err ...... shock .....

Thanks, err, for looking, Cmot. I was so, like, intrigued that I had a Google and, um, found the link above (or below, depending on your layout). I am, err, still speechless with, like, shock.

Sending positive vibes for the presentations.

Poor old Mellors, being chased by liz hurley, that is a cross to bear isn't it

madbad Women's hour said grow carrots in a bucket cos then they will be straight and the weevily fly things that eat them will hit the side of the bucket, get a headache and give up. Or something like that!

Don't get a King Charles Spaniel, tea they are snivelling, shake, hide under skirts and apparently have vile headaches due to inbreeding and heads too small for their brains. They might explode

thumb Aus is strangely brilliant for care in the sun, they used to have the highest rate of skin cancer and now don't. Their Slip, Slap, Slop campaign did for suncream/ cancer what the Ice on Magners campaign did for odd cider

Koi - glad they are good companions MaryBS. I once had a very sweet colleague who had a strange obssession with his koi. My worst thing was a long train journey. I used to want knitting needles by the end and had to go to the loo to stop myself screaming "I don't care about the ruddy things" by about Peterborough

Amber or those in direct comms, come lurk in the tea room, I like it here, don't like much else, love you lot though

Racing good on wriggle so glad she had fun

CMOT big sympathies by tired boy and undone presentations. I am in same situation. Had play date fun but the lovely little girl is very subdued I always want to cuddle her a lot came home feeling a bit bleak and kissed DaisyBoy too much instead...

Did someone say bolly? I do hope so
Kisses to JM, Donk, Mistle, DCMB and all others
no doubt I'll be back in a minute when my work is too boring to contemplate

Hell, I've just done one of those "take a breath daisy" posts (as JM would say)

now gotta go and do some hail marys for MaryBS, Justa and The Bishops

oh, and UniS I love your boy and his fascinator!DaisyBoy spent the afternoon clutching a bright scarlet patent handbag. we went shopping he bought an apple from the stall, popped it in his bag and a little while later took it out for a good snack

It was a Pink Lady apple too

LOL at MadBad suddenly getting all SHOUTY half way through her name in her desperation to get her hands on mellors the observor!

I'm growing carrots in a bright pink rubber bucket. Does that count?

I must get an early night, I've been in the park and then in charge of two children, then briefly three, then had to go to a meeting, and am exhausted. Had a chat with the father of the little boy DD is going to marry and discovered DD is obviously an excellent judge of character as it sounds like this child is exactly like her. Which does NOT make him a good choice of husband, but she is only five, and is not to know that.

Bed - if I don't go to bed now I might as well be watching Flight of the Conchordes instead of recording it, and I didn't wrestle with the DVD recorder in order for my effort to be wasted.

I, err, like, don't know what happened to my capitaliSATION but, um, I think I may have fixed it now.

It has been, err, suggested in a national, like, newspaper that Mellors has been consorting with a sleb. Not, like, in official tea room time, I hope.

Mutter
Mutter
Some schools
Mutter
Mutter
Lack of support
Mutter
Mutter
Won't be going back there!
Mutter
Mutter

(!) not (1) - I haven't started to footnote/annotate my growls!

Aromatherapy ear massage, Donk? Or a galvanised bucket of tea? Or both?

Did someone say BOlly?

Have played Mozart, Beethoven and Brahms quintets tonight - nice

UniS - great fascinator!

The ear massage sounds good - with nice soothing lavender or similar...

I have been ranting ever since I got home

Poor DS/DH/Mother

Yoy Mistle! you are on a musical roll aren't you?

Glad you think I'm a laydee MadBad, but my legs are tres hairy, I wouldn't thread if you paid me (hell I barely floss) and I missed the whole Save our Breasts/ Bra controvesry because my norks are so shrivelled it's an unnecessary luxury

With that potent and wholesome image to dwell on dear ladies, I shall slurp more bolly

Donk, here's a little hoof oil rub, what's with the school?

MadBad, loving your new found eloquence

DCMB pink rubber bucket is totally fine
it also has the advantage of being there. all my theories on carrot growing remain just that, haven't actually done anything about it yet!

From Amber...

"Have just delivered 64 charity envelopes through doors. That was an experience, especially when I got to the door that had a notice pinned to the side that said "Please take off your shoes". Well, I did! Then I thought, er, maybe they mean guests who go into the house, not people putting things through the letterbox ...and so I put them back on again. Oh the joys of a very literal brain!"

She's been talking with Justine - we'll wait and see what happens....

Daisy - Yo! I also missed the norks debate, although I should have been more interested - I'm not really surprised if larger sizes cost more - need more engineering and fabric - seems fair to me!

I'd better not be too rude about the school - someone might recognise it, and that would be unprofessional - a capital crime for a teacher.

My knowledge of Large Norks and Debate is pretty much limited to MadBad's instructional newspaper link - it was somewhere around the bit where Liz Hurley was being knocked off chatted to by Mellors!

Well, I had a look at that observer link and am distinctly unimpressed with Barbara Ellen's writing style. I'm sure she thinks it's good, but I've seen better. A lot better.

Am tired now - all sorts of things contributing but at least miniThumb seems to have got the idea of going to sleep in his cot and staying that way all night again - hurrah!

bolly? lovely, ta muchly.

(as in a straw for Thumb, not daisy's own straw)

oh, Donk, don't say more. we don't want capital offences here, no gibbets and such like in the tea room!

Donk - do you teach secondary or junior - I know you do supply...

TW - I agree with writing style - clearly not brilliant as I gave up skimming before I found the link to Mellors.