Welcome to the Seventh Heaven Tea Room (BYOB. Biscuits, crisps and cake provided)

[Catitainahatita]

Hello and welcome to the seventh incarnation of the tearoom.

If you have found us by chance and/or curiousity you must know that the tearoom is a virtual safe haven for all those seeking a friendly word, a good cuppa and plenty to snack on. By virtue of its magic nature, no food can cause any physical damage, so chocolate, alcohol, transfat and all such can be consumed guilt- (and magically calorie-) free.

We have a wide range of soft-furnishing to relax on; a lovely garden with a swing and a ha ha; a variety of animals; a spa and (for some unknown reason) an apidistra.

Everyone is welcome, if you have one child, ten or none at all. We are a tolerant and fisticuffs-free zone. Instead we employ our energies swooning at Mellors the Gardner cum handiman thinking a silly things to get up to.

Please come in and say hello. You never know, you may end up joining us ...

Hello Blu

I too inadvertantly caused upset, which I am sorry about. However, I'm trying to stay away from certain threads and aim not to step on any toes.

Its very difficult sometimes as this is an open board - to take an example out of thin air, on one thread people can be gaining support for controlled crying whilst others co-sleep so don't deal with this. For whatever reason. One (or indeed other) might be contrary to someone's beliefs about what is best for a child. I'm not going to go on further with this as no doubt it will cause someone upset somewhere.

I was really glad when the OP was deleted as I found it a very shocking attitude. If it had been written about a physical disability that has a similar range of impacts it would, undoubtedly, been shot down in flames very early on (at least I hope that it would have been). I quite understand that this area is something that is acceptable to discuss - and I wouldn't have had any qalms about leaving the thread to continue without any further comment from me if the original OP had been deleted (as she had requested), but the remainder of the thread allowed to stay.

Anyway, I am staying firmly away from that sort of thread. But I'm continuing here in the tearoom, where I will be talking about the normal run of the mill things, fantasising about cocktails and canapes and suggesting possible dog breeds for Tea when I think of some more options.

If you can cope with the NMBs (naked mohawk babies), the Bishops and the Bison and other assorted life within the tearoom, it would be nice to have some new regulars.

Catita (love your name evolution ) - sorry - cross-posted as I had a long RL interruption in the middle of writing my post!

I agree with you.

I understand how people get drawn in etc....and with your understanding of where the line would have been better drawn. AND (I didn't see your deleted post..but it doesn't matter...the main thing is that YOU deleted it!) it is a mighty thing that since having an outburst (oh, we've all done it...) you apologised, quite often, in fact!

I can see that Mistlethush was wanting to be supportive to Amber....but am just trying to point out (to MT) that support needs to go beyond the door of a tea room.

MT - sorry, x-posted with YOU then!

I hear ya!

And yes, I completely agree that Amber is no cause of this ongoing (perhaps fizzling?) convo!

Thank you for the kind posts Blu. I very much appreciate it.

But please come and sit on the sofa at least, you must have a numb bum by now.

Or perhaps you'd prefer the distressed chaise-lounge? Or a rocking chair ? All can be arranged.

Catita - Amber's been to the Drs this afternoon due to all the fuss kicking off in various places yesterday/today and has left so won't be coming into the tearoom expecting the normal atmosphere and being surprised.

I hope that we can get things back to normal again here soon though.

I know its not quite 6, but anyone for a quick apperitiff (sp???) before bathtime? I think it might be required today - one extremely tired ds has come home from school. Dh said something to him as a joke (and ds would normally have been able to see it as one) and ds burst into tears....

Mine's a large single malt (its a pity it has to be virtual) please MT.

What about yourself?

"and left" ??

As in MN? Oh dear, I hope not.

I think I'll have a nice chilled small white wine thanks Catita.

Yes, as in MN.

JM - is that Mellors in 'the other' place giving you all a good seeing too again? Please send him back if you do see him there - I think there will be some need of shoulder and/or foot rubs here tonight - perhaps you can get a 'Sven' or similar to minister to your needs there? I believe that he is now 'between' jobs as he is no longer required to dep for Samantha on ISIHAC

Yes, and the way I feel atm, I'm tempted to leave too (yes I know I've only just got here).

Having successfully done no work this morning, but having got v. stressed anyway, I think I also could do with some kind of attention from Mellors too (although I'm not keen on massages, I have ishoos with them, it's along story).

Perhaps we could also get him to get to work on a new haven for us? This thread is on its last legs in so many senses of the word.

Oh no, MaryBS.
Please don't go from here or from MN. This whole disaster has no relation to you or Amber at all.

I'm sorry you feel rough. Would you like a whisky or appropriate curate-like tipple?

ooh, this chaise longue is comfy..I remember when it was quite new. It was a bit stiff and scratchy then, and smelled of scotchguard.

Yes please, Justa.

But not by me. I haven't the words anymore.

I'll pack up all the essentials into Mellor's trailor and meet you all over there once its open for business.

Blu, we've been wearing it in - a dirty job, but someone had to do it. In fact, with the Scotchguard having long since worn off, it's been literally a dirty job - what is that red mark over there? Sangria? I don't remember that one.

While my virtual self has been kipping, my real self has taken DD for a haircut. She is unimpressed, and would rather look like a scraggly urchin, apparently.

Yes please, a new thread!

I found a bottle of port earlier, which I didn't realise I'd got - I could open that? Its a very good port! Left over from Christmas!

I'm going out shortly, I've a tutorial to go to... no rest for the wicked

we need someone like CMOTD, daisy, DCMB or MadBad to do it, I don't think I'm the right person to do it either.

Am so that amber has gone again - she really should have steered clear of the other thread

Well, we'll need to fill this thread up if we're going to move on. Rules is rules, after all. Would anyone like a peanut, the packet is almost empty, doesn't seem worth packing it?

A personal view. Speaking only for myself, as the tea room is a collection of diverse individuals and does not have a corporate view on anything (as far as I can tell) apart from the importance of tea, cake and champagne for maternal health.

When this tea room opened, it was as a refuge from the arguments about whether there should be a one child topic. Some of those arguments were (in my relative MN innocence then) surprisingly personal and nasty. On both sides, I should stress. It wasn't only mums of more than one sneering at mums of onlies, although that did happen. I really did hope, therefore, that however frank the discussion got around here, it would always be cordial and respectful of the other person. I expected the tea room to stay open for maybe a week or two and yet, to my surprise and delight, we're still here. Once it was clear that we'd be around for a while, I hoped we would attract more customers - whether they were regulars or just occasional visitors - and we would not be, in MN terms, a quiche. As far as I'm concerned, anyone is welcome here, the only exception being people who come with the sole intention of sneering, ranting or otherwise being mean.

I've done my best to stay out of the discussion about how MN can accommodate adults with special and specific needs, whilst still permitting the uninhibited discussion which probably led all of us to join in the first place. Different people want and need different things from MN at different times. I think that's pretty universally agreed.

Because I've been avoiding the threads, I haven't seen exactly how many times Catita has apologised for her remarks (which I never saw) but it's probably into double figures by now. Mistlethrush has just apologised too. But I do find it rather disconcerting that people are now dropping into this thread to tell us (as if we were unaware of it) that this is a public forum, that any MNer can see or participate in any thread but that people who do not have a child with special needs cannot participate in SN threads. Certainly, I feel that as my limited experience of SN is not with my own child I would have very little to offer - just as I would not have much to say about parenting twins or chicken keeping - but I am a little disturbed at the implication that some topics are out of bounds. Surely we can all choose where we post, as long as we do so thoughtfully, respectfully and considerately? It further disturbs me that some of the people who are dropping in here to tell some tea room regulars that they have been rude are doing so in the most crude and offensive tones.

It would be very sad if new customers coming in for the first time were greeted by such acrimonious scenes. Anyone wanting verbal fisticuffs could perhaps go over to the 'secular schools' thread from which I've just baled out. In the meantime, there's still a bit of poppy cake left as well as some chocolate brownies.

So can we please move on? This has not been the tea room's finest hour so can we please now declare it officially over? Justa's suggestion of a new thread seems good to me.

There you go, that's why I'm on the shortlist, not for my tact and diplomacy, but for my complete and utter cluelessness. In that case we'd better dispense with the usual packing, leave the place unlocked (tsk) and wave a magic wand and be off with us to pastures new ...

Sorry. Second instalment for anyone still awake after the first one.

Justa - To the extent that I can (which, admittedly, is non-existent) I would want to discourage any more discussion of the controversy. How many times does a person have to apologise before people stop coming back to tell them for the umpteenth time that their remarks caused offence? They know that. That's why they apologised. We risk getting stuck in a loop here.

I'm trying to formulate a metaphor about forgiveness, learning and fresh starts. You will have a better idea of what I'm trying to say than I do!