The One-Child Tea Room, version 21... the Hawaiian Islands. Cocktails, anyone?

[Jacksmama]

Welcome everyone to the 21st (!!!) One-Child Tea Room. Not to be misleading, we do have inhabitants who have or are planning more than one! Everyone is welcome.

The usual rules apply: no fisticuffs, or you will be escorted out by Mellors the Hunky Gardener. Depending on your preference, he looks variously like Daniel Craig, George Clooney, David Boreanaz, Gerard Depardieu... I have a feeling we all see something different but whatever we see makes us drool! And considering that this Tea Room is in the Hawaiian Islands, whoever we see is definitely shirtless! :o

Cocktails, non-alcoholic beverages, yummy food that is entirely without fattening effects, and lewd rolls abound in the Tea Room. There is also a full cappucino bar.

This is essentially A Tea Room of Requirement, and we're currently on the lovely sandy beaches of Maui, with beach huts, lounge chairs, cabanas, mango and papaya trees, and of course, lots of coffee directly from Kona.

Pop on in and stay a while. We may all seem a bit mad eccentric but we're very friendly!

ooo alcohol and nibbles? Yes please! Thanks to the magic of the tea room this will be entirely free of drunkenness-causing properties at 11am of course....

I have been up since 5am so it feels like 2pm here!

What can I get you?

Any chance of a virtual Bacardi to go with the tropical setting?? With one of those pop-up paper umbrellas in it??

I've been up since 5 as well. Feels like bedtime. But I have a headache that won't shift so I think I'd better avoid booze right now.

And now it's snowing...

Scout - you can also try getting whey protein powders from health food shops and making milk shakes with those. They are designed to increase muscle, to be fair, but are good for extra cals when you can't eat or are in a rush.

My Mellors-of-requirement looks like this - on a hot day, he doesn't have the t-shirt on...

JM - hope you have a good trip and hope you can manage to get online to make us all jealous let us know how it's going :)

Amber - YOU WILL BE FINE. Love the curtain logic, btw - sounds like me phoning everyone from Melbourne airport on a transit flight because I Had A Bad Feeling about the trip but figured if I got to speak to everyone then I'd be ok

Good morning all, just got up... Going to pack shortly and then around 1 pm we're heading out to the airport. We'll have Internet access and I'm bringing the iPhone, DH is bringing his iPad, so I'll be able to report from Hawaii :)
Welcome Norfolk! I see you've figured out the entrance requirements for the Tea Room :o
Scout, as soon as I get back I'll put together a care package for you. What flavours do you/ don't you like? A lot of protein bars come in peanut, caramel, cookies and cream, chocolate etc.
Amber - it will all be fine. What day is your op? Will be holding your hand.

JM -- Any other treats you're fancying/craving in addition to Galaxy?

Hello Norfolk!

can I just say

ARHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am soooo tired, and really grouchy today. Just had enough of tantrums, whinging and the like. Feels like it is going on forever.

I will have a bucket of wine please.

I'll have some of your bucket, please, PP.

JB is obviously a little freaked out overexcited about going to Hawaii because he has been a completely crazy toddler all morning. If his speaking volume could drop below a shout some time today, that would be nice as my head is shortly going to explode. And, how lovely is this, I will be sitting with him by myself as we couldn't get three seats together. And DH has a flying phobia so has already been at the Scotch so if he's half-cut by the time we get on the plane, he obviously won't be sitting with JB.
On top of that, I'm a little stressed in anticipation of how my stepdad is going to be when they arrive. He usually arrives after a flight pretending to be completely knackered, tongue hanging out, gasping theatrically for air, dramatically explaining how incredibly strenuous five hours of sitting on his arse the flight was.
I'm sorry but I'm feeling a bit low, stressed, and overwhelmed and if he does that, I'm going to have to bodily throw him off the balcony let him know that he should try flying with a three-year-old.
I wish we were going with my mum only. Or my mum and MIL, that would be fun. I feel awful for even saying it, because I've been trying so hard not to give my mum a hard time about enabling him, and jus trying to accept and love him as the utterly pathetic sod as he is but I think just this moment I've simply run out of goodwill.

Aaaargh. Sorry all - didn't mean to develop such hateful diarrhoea of the typing fingers just before leaving

Will check in from Maui. Love to all of you! xxJM

Sending positive thoughts (and gin) your way, JM. Hope the flight and holiday will be better than you fear - they almost certainly will be.

Hello, Norfolk. I've lost the plot a bit. Have we met before? Either way, you have obviously grasped the essentials of tea room life.

Let's have some Bolly.

:o

BabyScout and I will see you in Hawaii, JM!!! Bon Voyage!

Hello, Norfolk. I'm Scout. We haven't met.

Tee, how's the head?

amber, did you find curtains?

I've been chewing on almonds half the afternoon, much to MrScout's disgust. Nomnomnom.

JM, don't want to worry you, but do you have your passports?

Finally cleared after lunch, thanks for asking Scout. The best news was LCT going down much easier tonight. Now if he'll just sleep until 730 tomorrow like he did this morning!

Have fun JM!!

Howdy Norfolk. I don't think we've met. I'm Tee.

::passes wine, cheese, biscuits, pate and fruit platter::

May I say that I love the way Tee puts her stage instructions inside :: ::s? I read somewhere that this is, ahem, correct MN form but Tee is the only person I know who does it.

::swigs wine::

Oh, that felt strange.

::Waves glass around with an air of desperation::

Yes, very strange.

Think I've had too many nuts....

::Sploshes Bolly into Scout's glass::

Don't Ben and Jerry do a macadamia ice cream?

The advantage of ::s I've just discovered is that the spellchecker doesn't ignore stuff inside the ::s as it does with >s.

How do you spell check on MN?

It took me over a year to notice it, but there's a [check] button on one of my toolbars, so it belongs to the 'puter rather than MN. But, for reasons I don't understand, it skips anything inside >s. So I could be converted to ::s.

::ponders::

:: :: is actually Internet Standard for actions. is usually used for quoting rather than "".

::Tee gets off soap box again::

Oooh. Who decides Internet Standards?

I do.

No, in reality they were set when the internet was new and not all characters were available on message boards. "", for example, were not available on UserNet boards for some reason I can't remember so people started using . Then was adopted for HTML coding to indicate code. Which might be why it won't spell check between them Small.

And things became standard just because they worked and so everyone started using them.

::tee takes off her geek hat so she can get ready for bed::

Is anyone else bothered by Derren Brown?