You might be autistic/ADHD if....

[ofwarren]

I just saw this game over on Wrong Planet and thought it might be fun on here. You just write "you might be autistic/ADHD if.." and then write some funny anecdote about your traits.
I'll start

You might be autistic if as a child you spent a whole day cleaning every copper coin out of the big whisky bottle at home with Brasso, just to make them shine.

You might be autistic if you thought reading the phone book was fun, and the Yellow Pages was even more exciting!

You might be autistic if you sleep in the same clothes that you wore all day and then still wear them the next day.

You might be autistic if your most dreaded words at school were "find a partner" then either being put into a "3" or being partners with the teacher 😫

Oh god yes, I remember that well!

You might be autistic if you dread winter because it means you have to wear shoes and socks.

You might be autistic if you know literally every line from your favourite film and you cannot help saying them while watching it.

You maybe ADHD if the only time you're quiet is on work nights out because the fruit machine lights are entering you more than the conversation!

You may have adhd if you lose your train of thought during sex

😬 Do you start thinking of something else entirely?

Yes.

You might be autistic if you have a panic attack about pressing four buttons on a screen.

You look forward to the school holidays as you do not have to go out for days at a time.

You might be autistic if the only thing about going abroad that isn't terrifying is taking photographs of the different types of electricity pylons they have over there, for your pylon photos scrapbook.

You may have ADHD if you cannot help but burn food because you get bored whilst it's cooking and ignore the oven alarm...

That's my husband 🤣
He must have burnt over 20 pizzas by now.

😆 I love this

Literally me today.
Actually counted how many days left 😁

You might have ADHD if you find yourself scaling your own back yard wall to let yourself in through the unlocked back door because you managed to leave your key in the front door and go out without it. Being saved by other aspects of your forgetfulness (not locking the back door) is not an excellent home security plan.

You might be autistic if you have to walk home a certain way, even though you have been shown that it's not the quickest route

You might be autistic if you have to make another annoying noise to drown out the annoying noise that is causing you sensory overload.

My son howls over ambulances for example.

It's a long-running family joke that I can't make toast under the grill without burning it. We have a toaster but as I can't have gluten, the toaster is for the gluten bread and my toast was always done under the grill to avoid cross contamination. Then our grill broke about a year ago which solved the problem of me burning it... I just don't have toast now!

The irony is that I can follow really complicated recipes, I can make a 3 course fancy Christmas dinner, I can bake really elaborate cakes etc

But I burn toast.

You may have ADHD if oh look a squirrel!!! A plane!! A train! A strangely shaped cloud! What was I saying again? Oh yes.

You might have autism if you like to sort skittles into different colours and eat them in a certain order.

You might have autism if you discover how soothing it is to make spinning toys out of your ds's k'nex and wish you'd had Lego as a child.

I remember hearing a tv chef (probably Gordon Ramsey) saying that the only way to toast almonds was to employ someone to stand there watching them the whole time.

I’d still manage to burn them.

Top tip: buy a second, GF, toaster.

My DS has coeliac disease. Him having his own toaster makes like much easier. Because I will burn toast and so will he!

...or that you retain the phrase (for many years) for 'Transport Museum' in more languages than you actually speak?

You might have ADHD if it takes weeks to remember to make a GP appointment

You may be Autistic if it then takes hours to force yourself to use the phone to make the appointment

Never knew this was an ASD thing! Why bother to change clothes at night?Makes no sense to me...