You might be autistic/ADHD if....

[ofwarren]

I just saw this game over on Wrong Planet and thought it might be fun on here. You just write "you might be autistic/ADHD if.." and then write some funny anecdote about your traits.
I'll start

You might be autistic if as a child you spent a whole day cleaning every copper coin out of the big whisky bottle at home with Brasso, just to make them shine.

You might be autistic if you thought reading the phone book was fun, and the Yellow Pages was even more exciting!

You might have autism if you sit in the car and cry after going shopping and discovering they’ve rearranged everything

Did you manage to buy anything? I find I just give up after the first couple of items.

Hugs if you're crying xx

Ah thanks. It was actually a good while ago so I’m fine now. I’ve read it’s supposed to boost sales and promote impulse shopping but it’s the opposite with me- I come home without most of my groceries and it takes me weeks to get used to it.
And I feel betrayed 😂which might be a slight over reaction.

Our tesco did this the other day. Devastated.

Currently working from home, the team from work had decided we all meet up one evening…a bit of a get together and a catch up. For some reason or whatever it was cancelled…oh what a shame!

Sorry forgot to put…You might be autistic if …

Yes, betrayed 🤣

So funny but so true

I hate it when they do that. There should be a law against it. I have an orbs used method to shopping and always go up or down the aisles in a certain way. I might need to double back but it's always down the bread aisle and up the toiletries aisle. It's a long time since I went to tesco but I always did things in the same order. The local Asda hasn't changed in years thank goodness. Maybe because it's a small store. I like things to be predictable with shopping. I like a Waitrose delivery as it's usually the same chatty guy who delivers. If it's not him it's the other friendly guy. Rarely it's a woman or younger bloke. They are all lovely though and I enjoy our chats on the doorstep. That's my socialising for the day. Just enough to appear normal but not exhausted.

... if you spend an entire meeting concentrating so much on the people you're meeting with, so that you can exclude all external white noise, activities and people that 1. The effort of it gives you a migraine 2. The people concerned start to look like statues because you're willing them to stay still 3. You're dissociating wildly by the end of an hour so you have to force yourself to make notes as otherwise you won't believe that you have even had the meeting

You might be autistic if you see a certain sauce (peri peri hot mayonaise) that you absolutely love as no other sauce is the same, back in stock and you have to grab six bottles of it (I did leave some bottles there).

with the random intermittent supply issues, it is worth keeping the must haves in stock at home.

You might be autistic if you often arrive up to an hour early for appointments, because you've allowed for every conceivable hitch that might arise in your journey.

Yes! I could never let myself be late for anything

You might be autistic if anytime life gets overwhelming (several times a week at least), you go and watch the same TV series/film for the 20,000 time (1995 Pride and Prejudice, I am looking at you. I literally wore the original video out).

If I had the time I would definitely do this, as it is I try to have a yearly ‘Pride & Prejudice’ session where I’ll watch the whole series, I love it, so familiar and calming.

You might be autistic if you enjoy watching the washing machine, especially if it contains trainers or teddies.

Yes! Nothing says 'all's right in the world' like the washing machine making its reassuring noises of filling up; and then the rhythmic turning of the drum. Whatever turmoil is going on around me, the washing machine is a beacon of normality.

You might be autistic and have adhd if, when overstimulated and simultaneously exhausted you decide to cut your hair RIGHT NOW because it's touching your shoulders and irritating you

Oooh I love watching the washing machine! It's so relaxing! I tend to zone out until my husband asks me what I'm doing 🤣

Oh yep. And my nails, they're fine one second, the next they're far too long and I could tear them off my hands they're irritating me so much!

Oh hell yes. It needs cutting and it needs cutting now! That's why I started cutting my own hair because I couldn't wait until the next day to go and get it cut (that and the trauma of going to the hairdressers!). If I rub the back and it feels wrong then it has to come off.

I love snuggling in front of the tumble dryer when I feel very sad.

...if you reread the same books over and over and over again.

You might look very classy (but have auditory processing issues) if you find it easier to watch foreign films with subtitles than Hollywood blockbusters, and listened to classical music rather than pop whilst you did your homework so you could hear yourself think.

I have so many of these!
Also:

…if you need to hear the weather forecast for an outdoor event tomorrow but zone out almost immediately and never find out what the weather will be.
I’ve never got to the end of a weather forecast.

… if you scratch one leg, arm, whatever, the other side has to be scratched too. Equally.

…. if you have a bowl for your keys but inexplicably suddenly start leaving them somewhere else, so can never find them.

… if you have as much enjoyment from listing and cataloguing your stuff (in my case, dolls house dolls and DVDs) as from using them.

@FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander This made me laugh. I did this last week. It was not the first time.