Former hardcore raver having a mid life crisis pushing 40

[Invasionofthegutsnatchers]

Age 19 I met DH at uni, both off our faces on Es and to be honest we had a bloody lovely time raving it up at hard trance and drum n bass clubs, drinking in pubs, etc. Fast forward 20 years and we are married with 2 kids and live each other, however he's now tee total and quite insular. I will launch myself onto any available dance floor but as my taste is quite niche (tidy boys, breeze n styles etc) I'm usually not feeling it if we go out.

So I cane it at the gym with my headphones on and am now quite fit 🙃 I just yearn for a proper club or festival to suit MY tastes. I'm nearly 40 and work bloody hard during the week. DH is currently peed off as I've spent all evening with my headphones on but music is life!

Yeah you don’t need drugs. Just a great DJ & soundsystem!

Well I'm more a rock chick but I have a better life nearing 50 than when I was young. Ok I met dp more recently after I spit from a 20 year marriage, but before covid and since lockdown ended we go out nearly every Saturday and some Fridays too to see live music locally, lots of options in walking distance - never danced so much in my life. The difference is my kids are now adults so I don't have care responsibilities, we can sleep in until midday on weekends and whilst money is not unlimited we have a decent disposable income. Be patient you'll have your time again op

It sound like you need a partner in crime. I would get on to Instagram and follow all your favorite DJs, promoters etc and talk to people in the comments. And go to something on your own. I go to gigs on my own sometimes as I can't always persuade my loved ones along to the weirdo stuff I enjoy; and I always end up talking to people. Also then you don't have to leave when your partner gets bored which always happens if you are last man standing by nature!

Drugs would give it that authentic mission flavour though 😂

I would go out with my friends and 9/10 ended up at a different party with a group of strangers in a totally different area - so going with anyone in the first place was borderline irrelevant (admittedly helpful in the initial going in the first place), but just go for it op - are there any groups on sm where u could arrange to go with some in similar situations? Or just ask in here??

I met my husband clubbing 20 years ago so it was all through him, he found the pills etc

I just want yo get on that dance floor with people who are feeling it

I'd like to think I wouldn't do pills on my own due to safety but you never know 🤩

Someone take me to tidyland please 😭

Ah the cultural things we’ve lost over the decades. Rave culture was the fucking best. Sometimes I watch the video for the original Infinity by Guru Josh m.youtube.com/watch?v=z2CIiES_xxk and, as much as I love it, it always makes me so damn sad that current and future generations aren’t going to get to have those loved-up sweaty mashed up experiences. Infinity was a few years before my time, but the vibe of that video is just another level.

I was actually into the same sounds as you, OP - probably even went to some of the same hard house nights (chillouts in the fire escapes at Camden Palace anyone?!) and subsequent daytimes haha. Some of my best memories are in my late teens being completely looked after by strangers at raves, who genuinely had my best interests at heart because we were all so loved up. Comparing those nights and weekends, when people came together regardless of background, class, race, whatever, sharing positive feelings and looking out for each other, to now, when people are so divided and always want a fight … argh.

Would be good to bookmark this thread for details of any old people (us!) raves, if anyone’s got any to share please. Would love to go to something like that!

A MASSIVE side step, but I read about Ecstatic Dance the other day and am keen to go.
It's quite hippy and quite aerobic-y but sounds fun with the togetherness and abandon.

www.ecstaticdance.com/

Absolutely find some events and go!!

I'm over 40! (Just) and there are loads of opportunity to rave with similar ages!!

How do I rock up on my own and not get raped/ robbed/ fucked up?

I'm very much an open minded raver but bloody hell there's all sorts that go to these events 😬

Check out wonk UK.
Or other countries depending where you are.

You need to find the vibe

@Invasionofthegutsnatchers

Fuuuuck I want to go to Tidy but ill be on my own. Is that sad? Or dangerous? Or awesome?

After a few pills you won't give a fuck. Everyone will be your best mate after swapping life stories and taking absolute bollocks for hours.

From what I’ve heard/seen on yt there’s been a big revival of the proper old skool free parties springing up during the past couple of years, sound systems in woods/derelict factories type thing and people just partying with barely a phone screen in sight; was really so pleased to see there’s still a load of free spirit party heads out there and the yoof are not just all just posing on or trying to be perfect for social media 😂

I’m 39 as well, so a bit late for the proper acid house but started young c.1996 which is a long time ago now 😬😱

I’m so pleased social media didn’t exist in the 90s/early 00s though; I’d have either had no fun at the time or no prospect of employment since lol

Happy days ❤️

Op if you’re visiting a venue with people likely to be on mdma, what kind of welcome do you honestly expect? 🤣🤣🥲

OK but I live near Winchester and M happy to go by train but I can't book tidy weekender unless I buy a cabin for 2 at £300, bit silly on my own. I can't get a dodgy sleeping bag pass if I sont know anyone going. Been to loads of festivals so more than happy to make friends when I get there but practicalities, what ticket do I need?

This made me smile/ love it all. I will go with you!!!! Agree! "Forgetting how to wee" 😂😂😂

Yassss @anewlife22

My husband will think I'm a right dick though. He's now completely sober. I'm not I want to go and have a fucking good time on my own. Should I tell him what I'm booking or not?!

I’ve found a group of girls/ women from my local town for raves. We meet once a month in town for a drink and chat to check we’re not weirdos and then post stuff on the WhatsApp group of stuff we’re interested in, and see if anyone wants to go.

It all started with a post on the local FB

8 of us went to Printworks 2-3 weeks ago. 6,000 people appaz.

Bloody brilliant. Managed 38,000 steps that day. Could hardly move the next morning.

Some local, some London, some live music. Complete mix.

I’m mid 50s…ish. 😜

Amazing. I need this xx

Let’s atart a WhatsApp!

Wow! What did you post on your local FB to start that off ByeBye?

We used to have a brilliant long-running thread on here called Old Ravers but it got zapped a few years ago when some dickheads trolled and ruined it