Diagnose me - I feel like I've been drowning for the last week ??!!!?!!

[morningpaper]

I feel very very tired and like my lungs are broken

At night it is worse

I've been to GP but no sign of infection although my peak flow was 350 - and I fainted after I gave a peak flow blow

He sent me home and told me to stop whining basically, it's probably viral

Is it viral or am I dying?

The bee got better too.

Did it thredworm? How did it disentangle itself? Oh I am so pleased, I do love an all round happy ending to a thread.

Well, he just Wasn't There. Like Christ not being in the tomb. So I assumed he had recovered miraculously. But actually perhaps he was scoffed. One or the other.

Oh let's go with the Christ-like resurrection.

As the bee's and MP's fate seem to be intangibly and metaphorically linked then I think it's an altogether better and more positive plan that she is not under the impression that she is about to be devoured by phlegm.

I am crying with laughter after reading this... ta muchly to NSF for forwarding this thread.

Slubber and Thred - absolute genius

My lungs are still collapsing

Do you think Jesus felt a bit rough after the ressurection?

MP - pull yourself together.

My DS1 did have a collapsed lung (well a small pneumothorax). It happened spontaniously. The doc said it could in young males of his build (slim ribcage).

Are you actually a young male with a slim ribcage?

No. Thought not.

I hope I am not being to harsh. I am just trying to channel Slubber

Get a hand-held-battery-operated-fan thingy and hold it about four inches from your open mouth, turn it around (so it's sucking rather than blowing air from you) and turn it on. It'll help you breath. Honestly, it will.

That all sounded rather phallic, but I promise it works. The Mac nurses told my Dad to do it when he had lung cancer (not suggesting that you have got it) and it really helped him breath.

Oh, and pull yourself together woman (sorry, felt the need to carry on the theme of the thread ).

Yes, or very tall (wrt spontaneous pneumothorax).

mp is not tall, I have met her.

You are letting the side down. Where is your Everest Spirit Woman?

I think he might have felt a bit stabbed-in-the-lung-by-a-spear-ish. But he didn't make a fuss.

oh yes - no fuss from Him

(DS1 however did grab his chest for months afterwards, every time he was asked to unload the dishwasher)

Oh Dear Lord, I cannot endure months of mp having a cough, unless it is TB which of course would be a valid (if not very imaginative) reason.

And no, you don't have TB before you get any funny ideas.

But consumption does fit rather well with the Austin inspired delicate little flower act, no?

LOL - it does ladies.

I've come to this thread late, but am enjoying inspired by the evilness sympathy of your posts.

Plague would be better though. Who did a good bit of plague? Was it Dickens?

Have you checked your armpits for a weeping pustule mp?

Consumptive women just generally get right up my tits. La Boheme is the ultimate in annoying bints. All through the final act you just want to yell 'OFGS Mimi, quit your warbling and go and rub some Vicks on your chest'.

How about Moulin Rouge?

Also annoying. Nicole (or whatever her name was) only had herself to blame, all that fart-arsing about on trapezes with nowt but a leotard on.

I actually DID just check my armpits for a weeping pustule

nothing there I don't think

Any recent semi-nude gymnastics?

LOLing at this thread. I will know not to come to any of you lot for sympathy for anything!

Poor MP. There there.

Now get on with the Round-Up.

MP

Please could you change out of your empire line dress / sparkly leotard*, put on some jeans and sensible shoes, and get on with the roundup?

• delete as appropriate

Here she is.

rofl at that link.