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Original poster

AIBU to ask you to talk me out of cancelling this date tonight?

291 replies

Posypointshoes · 17/04/2023 18:28

I’ve name changed for this because the background is incredibly outing.

I have a date tonight with someone I’ve liked for YEARS but I am absolutely bricking it.

We knew each other as children, we used to dance together. We did ballroom and competed so spent a LOT of time together and were very close, stayed close during our teens, then we went to separate universities and stayed in touch.

we had a falling out when I stopped dancing and he wanted to continue and didn’t speak for several years, then got talking again - by which point we were both married to other people. We stayed very loosely in touch but not close like we used to be.

neither marriage worked out - nothing to do with each other.

We’ve been talking again, and he asked me out on a date/for a drink tonight and I’ve been really looking forward to it as I really like him.

the thing is I haven’t seen him for ages. I was always in amazing shape from dancing when I was younger, but while not in bad nick I’m not like I used to be. I feel old! And like I have nothing interesting to say. I’ve lost all my confidence and I’m worried I’ve built him up in my head over the years to be something he’s not.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me, I really like him. But I also just want to stay at home!!

OP posts:
Chickensoup88 · 18/04/2023 21:00

Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 18:52

@Chickensoup88 not at all, no. I had some difficult experiences in that vein which is what led me to mumsnet in the first place. It’s why I name change a lot as I have some quite identifying experiences combined with my interests!
he doesn’t have any children, no.

I am glad you are kids-free as this is much more straightforward! I hope he is the right one for you and will make all your dreams come true.

Why it didn't work between you two many years back? Was the crush only from your side back then?

Tilllly · 18/04/2023 21:04

And was there a kiss...?! Spill!

😆

TheChosenTwo · 18/04/2023 22:20

Oh this is SO exciting!!! Hope it’s all going well tonight too, so lovely to hear it all
clicked back into place last night 😊

Macmeme · 18/04/2023 22:23

O my gosh m fantastic. Are you going to update us about Thursday as well 😛

Banrockmystation · 18/04/2023 22:38

Hoping for an update too!

Original poster
Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 23:08

@Chickensoup88 I always thought it was on my side only so didn't say anything, I didn't want to ruin things. We fell out anyway when I gave it up - I'd had injuries and it took up a lot of time, I met my husband to be and knew I wouldn't be able to give it a proper go if I was still spending so much time with friend, not that I could tell him that. We weren't competing as much then. Friend was upset at the cavalier way I told him I was quitting and didn't believe the reason I made up for him either. So it all went wrong!

We kind of danced around the subject (excuse the pun) last night but tonight he said he always had a crush but didn't want to jeopardise our dancing either and sort of assumed something would eventually happen. But then me quitting, moving away and moving on made him think it was just on his part so never said.

That was a long way of saying: because we were both idiots, assumed, didn't talk about it and then went and married other people 😆

We just have so much to talk about and so much in common still. I know I sound ridiculous but Thursday seems like ages away now - I am so so glad I didn't bottle it yesterday, whatever happens.

@Tilllly There might have been 😉and now I'm going to shut up or I'll just embarrass myself.

OP posts:
Tilllly · 19/04/2023 00:07

Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 23:08

@Chickensoup88 I always thought it was on my side only so didn't say anything, I didn't want to ruin things. We fell out anyway when I gave it up - I'd had injuries and it took up a lot of time, I met my husband to be and knew I wouldn't be able to give it a proper go if I was still spending so much time with friend, not that I could tell him that. We weren't competing as much then. Friend was upset at the cavalier way I told him I was quitting and didn't believe the reason I made up for him either. So it all went wrong!

We kind of danced around the subject (excuse the pun) last night but tonight he said he always had a crush but didn't want to jeopardise our dancing either and sort of assumed something would eventually happen. But then me quitting, moving away and moving on made him think it was just on his part so never said.

That was a long way of saying: because we were both idiots, assumed, didn't talk about it and then went and married other people 😆

We just have so much to talk about and so much in common still. I know I sound ridiculous but Thursday seems like ages away now - I am so so glad I didn't bottle it yesterday, whatever happens.

@Tilllly There might have been 😉and now I'm going to shut up or I'll just embarrass myself.

Squeeee 😘 😁

poorpaws · 19/04/2023 08:04

There was a kiss, how perfect, squeeeee from me too. I am so very happy for you OP, I hope it turns into a lifetime of great happiness for you both, I am so excited for you.

ScottBakula · 19/04/2023 13:22

Following with avid interest!

You say that neither one of you were brave enough to voice your feels back then , don't let that self doubt bite you on the bum again . However if he wants to . . . . . . .😄

Good luck with your pub date tonight , if the pub has a juke box ( or use your phone)put on your favourite record , you know , the one you dance to in the kitchen when nobody is watching and ask him what dance steps he would do to it . Then finger dance to it 😂

Original poster
Posypointshoes · 19/04/2023 17:42

@ScottBakula finger dance?! Mind is boggling haha

thank you for all the lovely wishes everyone 😊

OP posts:
ScottBakula · 19/04/2023 22:46

Sorry for boggling you @Posypointshoes 😁
It's where you make your fingers into 'legs' and tap your finger tips 'feet' in tme with the music and try to dance the fox trot / Waltz / cha cha or what ever together .

Original poster
Posypointshoes · 20/04/2023 14:20

Ha no worries @ScottBakula :) that makes more sense!

OP posts:
ScottBakula · 20/04/2023 16:37

I hope you have a great night tonight

Banrockmystation · 20/04/2023 22:06

Also wondering about tonight’s date!!

phlaps · 21/04/2023 08:38

Shhhh! Don't be breaking the snoozy bliss as she's waking cuddled up to her one true love on the first day of the rest of her life!

(after a night of thunderous and athletic passion!, years of pent up frustr...)

Time for a lie down.

Hope it's still going well OP!

Thethingswedoforlove · 21/04/2023 13:36

Op must know we will all be eagerly anticipating her update!

Original poster
Posypointshoes · 23/04/2023 14:47

Completely forgot about this thread I’m sorry! He may have come back after dinner Thursday and still be here today… 🙈😳

OP posts:
ClumsyCat · 23/04/2023 15:01

Congratulations OP. Enjoy.

Backtoblack1 · 23/04/2023 15:02

Omg! What an incredible update. Happy for you :)

TreadLightly3 · 23/04/2023 15:46

Woo hoo!!

poorpaws · 23/04/2023 16:07

And it's a massive woohoo from me too. Enjoy and be very happy.

Trudij123 · 23/04/2023 16:08

Yay!!!!

MeOldBamboo · 23/04/2023 16:25

Love this! So happy for you and long may it continue!

Americano75 · 23/04/2023 16:31

Oh my! Bloody good for you, have fun!

CuriousMama · 23/04/2023 17:15

Does he have his own home? He's not living with his parents/friends?Not wanting to be alarmist but that's quite a while.