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AIBU to ask you to talk me out of cancelling this date tonight?

291 replies

Posypointshoes · 17/04/2023 18:28

I’ve name changed for this because the background is incredibly outing.

I have a date tonight with someone I’ve liked for YEARS but I am absolutely bricking it.

We knew each other as children, we used to dance together. We did ballroom and competed so spent a LOT of time together and were very close, stayed close during our teens, then we went to separate universities and stayed in touch.

we had a falling out when I stopped dancing and he wanted to continue and didn’t speak for several years, then got talking again - by which point we were both married to other people. We stayed very loosely in touch but not close like we used to be.

neither marriage worked out - nothing to do with each other.

We’ve been talking again, and he asked me out on a date/for a drink tonight and I’ve been really looking forward to it as I really like him.

the thing is I haven’t seen him for ages. I was always in amazing shape from dancing when I was younger, but while not in bad nick I’m not like I used to be. I feel old! And like I have nothing interesting to say. I’ve lost all my confidence and I’m worried I’ve built him up in my head over the years to be something he’s not.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me, I really like him. But I also just want to stay at home!!

OP posts:
RobinaHood · 18/04/2023 09:28

This is such a lovely thread. I hope your next date goes just as amazingly OP. Flowers

Wc100423 · 18/04/2023 09:30

Never too old to tango you are both professionals it will all come back to you. I’m getting Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing flashbacks reading this thread.

Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 09:39

@diddl he does in a different capacity but neither one of us continued with ballroom properly or competed again after our partnership broke up. So, like I said, we would be horribly out of practise and I have no plans to start again!

OP posts:
crimsonpeak · 18/04/2023 09:46

Oh my OP - please go! Ever so often I think about how if I didn’t get on a bus to my first date to my now DH then my life would have been so different. This is a sliding doors moment! Go on the date!

CuriousMama · 18/04/2023 09:49

@Posypointshoes you're never too old to dance. Find a ceroc class. I'm in my 50s and I can do it.

Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 18/04/2023 09:53

crimsonpeak · 18/04/2023 09:46

Oh my OP - please go! Ever so often I think about how if I didn’t get on a bus to my first date to my now DH then my life would have been so different. This is a sliding doors moment! Go on the date!

RTFT

Pr1mr0se · 18/04/2023 10:09

Hope you had a good evening.

MaryBeery · 18/04/2023 10:10

CuriousMama · 18/04/2023 09:49

@Posypointshoes you're never too old to dance. Find a ceroc class. I'm in my 50s and I can do it.

My parents started ballroom dancing just before they turned 70, and really enjoy it (occasional trodden on toes not withstanding) to they point where they go off on dancing weekends once or twice a year. OP if it's something you enjoyed doing together and it was something you bonded over, you could still do it socially rather than competitively.

ClawedButler · 18/04/2023 10:20

Just chiming in to say how much your updates have made me smile - yay for living vicariously through your dating life! Grin

CoteDOpale · 18/04/2023 11:31

So glad to see you went, OP! The hopeless romantic in me wonders whether it was ‘fate’ bringing you back together.

SugarPlumpFairy3 · 18/04/2023 11:39

Aww this is LOVELY to read! So glad you went and I’ll definitely be waiting for an update!

SheRasBra · 18/04/2023 11:39

I'm so glad it went well. Honestly, this thread is such a tonic! There is hope for humanity after all. You've made my day x

Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 12:44

We are late thirties to the poster that asked. I do miss the dancing but it broke me back then, I have so many aches and pains now! maybe for fun it would be different.

We’ve made plans to go to the pub again tonight now 😳as well as Thursday. I’m going to try and stay off mumsnet for a bit now as I’m already completely distracted by WhatsApp and being stupidly giddy and I’m not getting much work done at all! which is fine, as I’m my own boss but also terrible because I’ll regret it come payday!

OP posts:
halfpasteleven · 18/04/2023 13:15

What a lovely update OP! So happy for you x enjoy both nights out x

Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 14:28

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
YaWeeSkitter · 18/04/2023 15:19

I love these sorts of posts where it's a normal happy outcome.

I like to imagine the MN massive crowding behind the OP in the manner of the cellar dwellers in Ghosts as she ventured out.

Wavinggoodbyetoo · 18/04/2023 16:07

Keep calm OP… but carry on!!

Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 16:54

Thanks @Wavinggoodbyetoo I’m on the second date tonight and don’t feel even slightly nervous! What a difference a day makes :)

OP posts:
ClumsyCat · 18/04/2023 16:58

Have a lovely one :)

Chickensoup88 · 18/04/2023 17:17

@Posypointshoes Sorry if this question is a bit too personal and please feel free not to reply if you don’t want to, but, out of curiosity, does any of you both have kids from previous relationships?

I hope it all goes well tonight!

Posypointshoes · 18/04/2023 18:52

@Chickensoup88 not at all, no. I had some difficult experiences in that vein which is what led me to mumsnet in the first place. It’s why I name change a lot as I have some quite identifying experiences combined with my interests!
he doesn’t have any children, no.

OP posts:
Vitriolinsanity · 18/04/2023 20:51

Bravo OP! Onwards!

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 18/04/2023 20:54

YaWeeSkitter · 18/04/2023 15:19

I love these sorts of posts where it's a normal happy outcome.

I like to imagine the MN massive crowding behind the OP in the manner of the cellar dwellers in Ghosts as she ventured out.

🤣👌

baffledcoconut · 18/04/2023 20:57

im just here for the updates……

Serenitespring · 18/04/2023 20:59

baffledcoconut · 18/04/2023 20:57

im just here for the updates……

Me too.
💗
😉