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Original poster

What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

675 replies

whatsnewpussycat777 · 12/02/2021 19:12

Me Blush

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

OP posts:
jambeforeclottedcream · 13/02/2021 17:36

@Sideorderofchips

Yes it was impressively crispy. My senior technician now gets very twitchy if I'm demo-ING anything to do with fire.. Or magnesium... Or group one metals. She is a biologist though. I just happen to like fire... And metals. Even the kids now ask if the technician who likes fire will be coming in
My senior and I are the opposite. I'm bio she's chemistry so when I start dealing with microbiology she starts getting a bit edgy
Chewingle · 13/02/2021 17:38

@Jasperjosephjulian

Sent a text complaining about my boss to my boss. In a panic to make sure they didn't see it I told them I'd been sexting my partner and sent it to them by accident so could I have their phone for a minute to delete it when it arrived.

It worked but I'm still mortified about my excuse.

I have to make change now as the story is well known in my friendship group Blush

I can guarantee they would have read!
Sideorderofchips · 13/02/2021 17:40

Ah my senior is microbiology. Was so glad when she joined as apparently the batch of ecoli I made once was far too strong and when I nuked it it stunk out the block for the rest of the day 😂😂

God I love my job

jambeforeclottedcream · 13/02/2021 17:48

@Sideorderofchips

Ah my senior is microbiology. Was so glad when she joined as apparently the batch of ecoli I made once was far too strong and when I nuked it it stunk out the block for the rest of the day 😂😂

God I love my job

Easily done ! On the whole, it's a fab job.
Sideorderofchips · 13/02/2021 17:52

It is a fab job. You do get some odd looks when there is a radioactive sign above your desk or someone walks in and you have a screwdriver and hammer in some rather solid chemical trying to break it up...

jambeforeclottedcream · 13/02/2021 17:57

@Sideorderofchips

It is a fab job. You do get some odd looks when there is a radioactive sign above your desk or someone walks in and you have a screwdriver and hammer in some rather solid chemical trying to break it up...
Yes!!! Or crushing ice with a massive mallet thing.

Or pour hydrogen peroxide & manganese oxide down the dunk with lots if water. And like steam / oxygen looks very dramatic coming from the plug hole

Codswallop20 · 13/02/2021 17:58

DH proposed on a weekend away. Got smashed on champagne celebrating.

Woke in the night desperate for a wee, went to ensuite and woke up properly when I found myself naked in the hotel corridor.

Heard someone coming out of a nearby room, so I panicked and ran. This happened repeatedly until I had forgotten which room I had come out of.

Was eventually rescued by hotel staff who had been watching me on CCTV running up and down the corridor naked.

They gave me a spare bathrobe and let me back into the room where DH was fast asleep and unaware until I told him at breakfast the next day.

He still married me. And I nicked the spare bathrobe, I still have it Grin

Sideorderofchips · 13/02/2021 18:13

I love doing thst one in a conical for Yr 7 with 100vol h2o2 and manganese oxide. Hit the ceiling once. Think we are derailing the thread 😂 we should start one for all science techs

gildalilly · 13/02/2021 18:15

This is outing as I am surely the only fool who has done this. I was looking at a new car in a car showroom. Pressed the cigarette lighter in accidentally and pulled it out when I realised, then touched the cigarette lighter to see if it was hot. It was. I had the circular pattern of the cigarette lighter seared into my fingertip and left a very noticeable burnt bacon-y smell in the car which overwhelmed the new car smell.

ThreeLadsPointingAtAStar · 13/02/2021 18:17

6.30am in the morning - on my way to work I pull over on double yellow lines to post a letter.
For some reason I post my car keys into the post box and get back in the car clutching a brown envelope.
The policemen who pulled over to ask why I was parked on double yellow lines cried with laughter when I told them what I had done.

TheChip · 13/02/2021 18:18

@gildalilly

This is outing as I am surely the only fool who has done this. I was looking at a new car in a car showroom. Pressed the cigarette lighter in accidentally and pulled it out when I realised, then touched the cigarette lighter to see if it was hot. It was. I had the circular pattern of the cigarette lighter seared into my fingertip and left a very noticeable burnt bacon-y smell in the car which overwhelmed the new car smell.
So pleased I'm not the only one who tested the car lighter. I was seeing if it cooled down as fast as it heated up. It doesn't.
jambeforeclottedcream · 13/02/2021 18:27

@Sideorderofchips

I love doing thst one in a conical for Yr 7 with 100vol h2o2 and manganese oxide. Hit the ceiling once. Think we are derailing the thread 😂 we should start one for all science techs
Not done that practical

Yes 🤣 I was thinking that.

ReginaPhalangee · 13/02/2021 18:52

I bought 'The Exterminator', a fancy tennis bat thing which gives insects (pesky wasps) a nasty electric shock. Tried it a few times and it seemed to do the job well, but still felt the need to test it out on myself.

Similarly, I touched an electric fence to see if it was on. It was.

InsertCoolHalloweenNameHere · 13/02/2021 18:56

Halfway through cleaning a glass cooker hob when I decided to make some soup... I then proceed to pick the metal part up to put in the sink to 'soak' after I had just finished using it. My hand was stuck like a claw for about two weeks and all angry and blistered...
I also placed my hand on an electric hob to see if it had cooled down yet.... In case you're wondering its still hot enough to burn your hand 10 mins later.
Made a brew in a cup of with a dodgy handle that obviously broke off as I was taking a sip.... I've also poured a freshly made brew on myself to see if it would hurt.
I swear I'm not that stupid

NeedCoffeeToSurvive · 13/02/2021 18:58

Years ago I walked past blockbusters and for god knows what reason there was a hole in the window, a perfectly round finger sized hole cut right into the centre of the pane of glass.

I stuck my finger in it and couldn't get it out for a good couple of minutes, felt like a moron.

PoochiePlush · 13/02/2021 19:11

@JustCheesz

I once stood on the end of rake to see if it really does come up and hit you in the face.

It does.

Hahahahhahahah literally laughed out loud!!!
HeadIsFucked · 13/02/2021 19:47

The car cigarette lighter, I have fallen foul of also. More than once too for some fucking reason.

Same with stapling various parts of myself.

Really, I should have learnt first time. But no Hmm

Sideorderofchips · 13/02/2021 19:49

Not me but a student. She stuck her finger in a pvc tube to see if it would fit

Oh it did

And then swelled up.

So with some vaseline and washing up liquid I managed to get it off. But I did have images of having to take her to a&e.

And also try very hard not to laugh

gildalilly · 13/02/2021 19:50

@HeadIsFucked and @TheChip clearly I have found my people.

BendyLikeBeckham · 13/02/2021 19:56

@Elledouble

At home, alone, stone cold sober and for no reason I can fathom, decided to try doing a Sporty Spice-style high kick. I was wearing a pencil skirt, so as the right leg went up it took the left with it and I fell on my arse so hard I winded myself.
I had a similar incident in a pencil skirt. Only I was stepping up into a train. There was a curve in the platform so a big gap between edge and train. I fell in and lost my shoe. And my dignity.

Another time, as a child, we were visiting family who lived at the other end of the country. We went by train. I had hold of the dog. He fell down the gap. I didn't let go of the lead so he was there hanging by the neck in a narrow space. Luckily, I managed to drag him up and out. I was a scrawny little kid. It was like one of those stories where someone lifts up a car with Herculean strength to save their child stuck underneath. I couldn't believe it. My mum nearly killed me after!

PattyPan · 13/02/2021 20:11

@Codswallop20 I properly snorted at this 🤣🤣🤣

SunsetBeetch · 13/02/2021 20:21

@NeedCoffeeToSurvive

Years ago I walked past blockbusters and for god knows what reason there was a hole in the window, a perfectly round finger sized hole cut right into the centre of the pane of glass.

I stuck my finger in it and couldn't get it out for a good couple of minutes, felt like a moron.

Hahahahaha!!!
mam0918 · 13/02/2021 20:34

@MrMucker

Whilst showering, scrub washed my most vital parts with Original Source Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel. You only really do that the once unless you have a niche interest in pain.
I dont even know why they make that stuff, its like it was designed for torture... I have a practically full bottle, used it once and not making that mistake again.
mam0918 · 13/02/2021 20:49

@NoProblem123

I a very steep water slide years ago, think it was called the kamikaze or something like that, the highest steepest drop slide you can imagine. I was instructed to keep my eyes shut, my head right back, and my arms crossed over my chest. On push off I decided to do none of those things, so cue the equivalent of industrial strength power hosing straight into my face and spent the rest of the day with 1 missing contact lense, loss of nostril function and completely deaf. The Greek godlike lifeguards thought I was hilarious though.
Yes the kamikaze require lying like your in a coffin, I would also add best to cross your ankles otherwise its like someone aimed a firemans hose up your hoo-ha.

last slide I went on I was sitting (as your suppose too) but must have been too tall went head first into the roof which jarrec down onto my neck and got jammed in the tube, ended up in A&E unable to turn my neck and with shooting pains down my back and left arm... A&E have no sympathy though they told me its just whiplash and that it would be a waste of time to see me (apparently going head first into something at high speed isnt really the important to the NHS if you survived it and can still move your limbs) a year later and I have shoulder pain and numbness in my arm that my doctor is convinced is related.

TrimmedMyBush · 13/02/2021 21:35

@Bunnybigears

Got home from the pub I wondered if it was possible to climb up the drain pipe and in my bedroom window to avoid having to open the front door as I couldn't find my key in my bag as I was drunk. I got quite far up bit then couldn't work out how to actually get in the window, then couldn't get down. My elderly neighbour bought his ladders over to rescue me!
I am laughing out loud at this one 😂
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