What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Me

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

I had a car crash not long after I passed my test, I was waiting at a junction to turn right and for some reason I thought a car flashed me to go....and I just went and this car went right into me. I had my 1 year old in the car with me too, thankfully we were OK.
I never drove for 2 years after that, but I feel I've grown alot since then and still do that same junction every so often and always think, why the fuck did I do that!!

Years ago I dialled 9 on a work phone to begin calling an external number, but unconvinced it was working, I hit 9 several more times before the full stupidity of what I was doing hit me, and I quickly slammed the receiver down in horror before it could connect.

I was a curious child and did loads of stupid stuff, some of which worked out fine and some of which didn’t 😬

I stuck my finger in the end of a handheld blender and turned it on which resulted in a fair bit of blood. I told everyone my hand had slipped but pretty sure I did it just to see what would happen.
About a month later I was using the food processor and in those days (80’s) there wasn’t the safety feature where you couldn’t turn it on if the lid was off. I wondered if I would be able to hold the central turny bit still if I turned it on. Nope. Hand got sucked in and resulted in quite a lot more blood. My big sister came home and was really pissed off as she’d only just persuaded my parents that we didn’t need to go to the childminder after school (she was in secondary so got home a bit later leaving me to me home alone for a bit - clearly I was not ready!). So she made me run it under the tap and then squeeze it for hours with kitchen towel - still got the scar 30 odd years later 😬

I'm currently in bed, I've literally just pulled the covers up a bit except they were stuck somewhere so I've ended up punching myself in the mouth and bust my own lip ffs 😂

Oh no @Quillark !! Sore!!! DH did that once and ended up with a scratched eyeball

I was studying😉

Laptop on my knees as I laid downstudying. I moved up the bed. Laptop fell forward. Hit me on the cheek bone. Black eye.

Studying is officially dangerous.

@Thebizz

I decided to paint my bedroom walls with white paint, opened the paint pot and put it on a shelf.

Out of nowhere the paint pot fell off, bounced on the wooden floor, exploded paint high into the air all over my head. I was in such shock I ran to the mirror and opened my eyes and they were completely white with paint. I looked like grasshopper off Kung Fu.

I rushed to the doctor’s who had to look up the type of paint it was in his book and he cleaned it all out for me while shaking his head.

Excellent! Sorry but it is

Nothing to contribute but this thread is magnificent

Please can someone nominate it for classics so it doesn't disappear!

Married my 1st husband

This thread is fantastic 😂

I had an awful day once and bought myself a bottle of wine on the way home. I’m not really much of a drinker, especially not wine so didn’t think about needing a corkscrew. It was just one of those moments where you finally sit down after a terrible day, get to the wine and wow, you can’t open it.

For some reason I decided to smash the bottle open with a hammer into the washing up bowl then used a sieve to get rid of the glass. I don’t know why I did this at all, my DH always tells me how lucky I was not to have ingested any fine bits of glass.

My friend had been to euro Disney and was showing me her autograph book with character signatures in.

There was one I couldn't figure out what character it was and was wracking my brain who it could be and rather than just keep quiet I loudly blurted out "who the fuck is Gary Poppino?" (That's what I read like to me)... it was Mary Poppins... she hasn't let me forget it and it's been 12 years

If I cut my finger, I would run across and bleed into the compost bin) 😳

Ended up with a wasp factory. That was a bad summer

Could have been vampires!

@whatsnewpussycat777

Please can someone nominate it for classics so it doesn't disappear!

@MNHQ this thread has my vote for classics

@Mysillystory

This was a few years ago and I still think WTAF

I was on a site, a forum type place with occasional meet ups in my area.

I had seen this man there and we had talked anyway he messaged me and we started chatting. I made it very clear I was only after friendship, I knew he was "older" but not how old.

He asked to meet up, I was free and thought yeah ok why not? (WHY?! Oh why did I think that)

Any way we met up, and he said let's go back to his for a drink as it was a bit cold out.

So we walk to his (much further than he said- I was wearing heels)

He proceeds to take me to his flat, which is in some kind of OAPs complex, he makes me a hot chocolate with squirty cream and marshmallows and is treating me a bit like a child. He then said he wanted to show me something in his bedroom. It's a four poster bed with fairy lights all on the top. He says lay down, it looks better. So I did (see, this is really a WTF was I thinking story) and as I'm laying there, feeling very uncomfortable I notice a load of bandage equipment on the back of his door

I very quickly made my excuses and left.

On my way home I was just wondering WTF had happened and how the fuck did I get myself into such a strange (and dangerous) situation.

Oh and it turned out he was in his late 70s

Oh and he had legally changed his name to a well known character, thing along the lines of 'Dumbledore'

Gandalf isn't it

I bought a new steam generator iron, filled it with water but it wasn't giving out any steam when I pressed the button, held it up to my face to look at the plate on it, to see if it was blocked or anything, face full of steam, actually burnt my face, what an idiot.

Also, when I first lived on my own, a friend came fir drinks, we decided it would be hilarious to squirt washing up liquid all over the floor and slide about in it, we then mopped it all up with towels and shoved them in the washer, ended up with bubbles pouring out of it cos there was so much fairy in there.

I love that so many of these were done intentionally, in the spirit of research.

Mine started young. I jumped off the top of the stairs to see if I could fly I had very convincing dreams ok

I couldn’t.

I could however slam my forehead into the landing edge and do what must have been a spectacular mid air roll. I distinctly remember deciding to jump, then being in a heap at the bottom of the stairs with my legs over my head and a large bump.

Also mucking out a stable. In flip flops. With a fork.

Considering the ends are quite blunt the tines go a surprising way into your foot.

Twice.

Or removing knots from a horses mane... badly matted, comb was useless.

Held on to bottom of knot and sliced through it with a penknife. And my knuckle.

Bled all over horse, stuck finger under tap, strapped it up with animal lintex and sellotape and carried on.

Took it off later and realised I could see my actual knuckle bones moving. It was quite fascinating until I fainted. Came to and strapped it up again.

Thankfully no infection, but I still have a nice scar.

I shouldn’t go out without a public health warning

@whatsnewpussycat777

Please can someone nominate it for classics so it doesn't disappear!

I’ve requested! You have to ‘report’ the thread and then request that you want it to go in classics. Love this thread! I’ve not laughed so much in ages 😆

@Quillark

I'm currently in bed, I've literally just pulled the covers up a bit except they were stuck somewhere so I've ended up punching myself in the mouth and bust my own lip ffs 😂

This unfortunately happens to me regularly

[quote Boardeduplife]@Jaichangecentfoisdenom not sure why you think that was funny. She was lucky she wasn’t raped or worse.[/quote]
But she wasn't and the poster of that story happily shared as a lighthearted memory

@Whythesadface

In the Middle of the night I hear a blood curdling scream.
I rush into the bathroom to find my child of about 7 had used Teatree Body Scrub on her bits.
I dumped her into the bath and hosed her down

This reminded me of when my 3 year old used antibac cleaning wipes on her bits after a wee.