What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Me

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

As a young girl we moved to new house which was one of the first to be finished. Building still going on all around. My sister and I found some lovely rolls of cotton wool, huge rolls of the stuff, we jumped up and down in it and had great fun. Hours later not so great, turned out it was fibre glass and our ma had to scrub us raw to get it off us oh the pain. Two very red itchy girls with skin that was on fire. Numpty eh

On my way to work, too vain to wear my glasses, put my hand out at the request bus stop, as I saw bus coming to take me into the city, the bus stopped I said city centre please, the driver said I would love to take you, but this is the school bus, I was so embarrassed, the kids were laughing and looking at me in amazement, I got off the bus really quick.

@Ddot
Ouch! That is terrible!

@Roselilly36

Clearly that was the fault of the school bus driver

@Roselilly36
I did the same thing, only it was the handicap bus. He took me to work 🤣

At a job interview a question about a particular element of the role was asked. A part of the role I excel at, but have never particularly enjoyed. Hard to say without being outing as in a niche industry...

Think... being a dressmaker who makes all the clothes, is really good at making skirts with pockets, but just finds it a bit tedious. Prefers doing dresses. Whatever.

I knew this question had come up. I had prepped my portfolio to demonstrate excellence in this area. I was ready to say how much I loved making skirts with pockets, even if I loved dresses a teeeeeny bit more, skirts with pockets were My Jam.

Anyway

“Anais- this role will involve some skirt making, with pockets. Have you done much of that, or have you just specialised in dresses?”
“Oh yeah” says Anais “but to be honest with you, it’s not where my interests lie really”.

What. The. Fuck.

I wanted the job. I knew about the skirts. I also knew they made all of the other clothes and the skirts would be but a small part of the role, and yet.... and yet.

Needless to say. Not hired.

Ok I'll

Went through the car wash in my old car and the brushes turned my mirrors in, so mid car wash without thinking I put my window down to push the mirrors out 🙈

I used to be a bit obsessive about trying not to catch a cold, by taking Echinacea at the first signs, or if I was in contact with anyone else with a cold. I felt a sudden need to take some on the way home one day, popped into Boots, they had effervescent Echinacea tablets, which was great as effervescent means chewable so I wouldn't need water to take them.
At the bus stop I put two tablets (to be on the safe side) in my mouth - my bus arrived just as it dawned on me that effervescent doesn't mean chewable, it means fizzy .. .
Getting on a bus while frothing at the mouth is a difficult look to pull off - though I did get a seat to myself.

You know those tennis racquet electric fly swatters? I bought one and tested it on my hand to check it worked. Jeeeeezus it hurt.

@StellaAndCrow
What a brill idea to have the seat all to yourself although it might cause someone to call an ambulance

@SorryPardonWhat
At least you didn't try it on your tongue, but your hand was bad enough...ouch!

Had puffy eyes one morning. Decided a pack of frozen sausages would be more efficient than chilled spoons... ended up with frostbite on both cheeks.

Getting jacket potatoes out of the oven, thought it would save time if I stabbed them with a fork to transfer them to the plate. One exploded, I ended up with molten potato lava all over my glasses (thank god I was wearing them) and nose.

Tried to save a mole from my cats had brought in. Bloody thing bit me, did manage to get it to cry freedom eventually though.

@littlemisschoclover you had me helpless with the curry.

Decided to park round the front of the building at work rather than the back. I reversed into the metal shutters and smashed my entire back window, right at the start of lockdown. I had to tape a bin bag over the window for three weeks.

Stepped off a pavement, in the dark, in heels. My heel caught on my trouser hem and I went down like a felled tree. A man with his dog rushed over to help me up and as I tried to explain what I'd done I realised he was blind and thought I'd tripped or something. I felt so stupid

At school we were learning about electricity and testing things to see if they just conducted electricity. We used all the samples we had been given, tested our pencils, rulers, rubbers etc, and then someone suggested we tested my braces... The removable top brace was straightforward. I still have no idea why I let them wire me up and test the fixed brace. Thankfully it was a very low voltage (or current?) so it was just a strong tingling buzz - not nice at all but fairly harmless. I’m amazed I didn’t remove the brace, I pulled the clips off so fast...

@Latenightreader

We did this to a friend at school... You didn’t go to a catholic secondary up north did you?

@Whatisthisfuckery

Bought one of those home leg waxing kits. Put the jar of wax in the microwave to melt, took it out and promptly dropped it on the tiled floor. It smashed, shards of glass and hot wax cut and burnt my leg. What’s worse I didn’t have anything on my feet, so I had to tip toe out of the kitchen to get some slippers. Scraping glass shards encased in rapidly cooling wax off a tiled floor is not easy.

When I was about 14 I was chewing gum in the bath, as you do. For some reason I decided to see what would happen if I took the gum out of my mouth and put it on my pubic hair. It got stuck, that’s what happened, and it was very painful trying to cut it out.

😂😂😂😂 Oh my God they had made me laugh so much!

@Ahmnotacat
“ Mummy will take you through the presentation now'.” That had me howling

[quote OhShitShit]@Latenightreader

We did this to a friend at school... You didn’t go to a catholic secondary up north did you?[/quote]
Nope, non religious one in East Anglia... I’m glad it wasn’t just me!

I hated physics at school. To liven things up l decided to clip a crocodile clip in my nose. The pain was indescribable.

Switched on the kettle in my student flat, walked out to buy some biscuits, forgot my key and the wind blew my door shut. Went to my friends. Became obsessed about the kettle not turning off ( they didn’t always turn them selves off at this point in history)

Became more obsessed, phoned fire brigade. 3 fire engines. They broke down the door, and the kettle of course was off.... my gay friend wouldn’t stop leering at the firemen too, just to add to the general anarchy😭

DP and I got food from a food court then had to take it down an escalator to sit outside and eat. He walked ahead of me carrying half of it, I carried the rest but both my hands were full. I was worrying about getting on the escalator without being able to hold onto the side but didn't think to ask DP for help and just got on anyway. I immediately panicked and ended up with my feet on different steps, lost my balance and flung the food in the air while shouting "I can't do this!". I tried to compose myself then looked back and saw most of my food had landed on a wooden ledge next to (but just out of reach of) the escalator and had to watch it move further and further away from me as I continued down in shame. DP was pissing himself laughing at me while simultaneously bewildered at what he'd witnessed. Once I got down he pointed out that there was someone trying to get my attention, turned around and very kind man who had been behind me on the escalator offered me my burger which I'd dropped. Mortifying.

@prettycolours that has made me honestly laugh out loud this morning.

I broke my foot (spiral fracture) at work. Slipped down the edge of the disabled ramp and went down hard. As a teacher kids could see so I got up and went into my office to howl quietly, then taught double y11. Show no sign of weakness....

Realised I probably wasnt ok when I could feel my pulse in my foot and couldnt get my shoe off. Got to the end of the lesson and decided i probably needed to have this seen to!

When I came back to work (on crutches and in a cast) they'd widened the ramp so your foot couldnt slip into the gap...

This is a bit outing as some friends know but it is stupid (and funny) soo..

On a camping holiday, both kids screaming and not sleeping, realised that they had worms 🤢 was absolutely horrified as had never dealt with that before! Went to the pharmacy the next day but you couldn’t buy deworming medication over the counter without a prescription in that country. It was the start of a long bank holiday weekend, so no dr appointments available and the prospect of 4 days with wormy children and screams at bedtime loomed ahead of us. We did some frantic googling and found recommendations for rubbing raw garlic on the anus to deter worms. Applied in Vaseline at bedtime and the screaming heightened from the children. DH and I looked at each other, he said, it can’t be that bad. Later we did the same, as we presumed we probably had them as well if both kids did, and omg the burning. It was bloody awful and I felt like the worst mother ever for inflicting it on the kids!! Poor babies!! Fortunately they don’t remember and the trauma of the whole affair has faded for us as well but it was one of those holidays where I thought I don’t know why we bother trying to go away, it’s so much more stressful than staying at home!

I've done all sorts of stupid stuff, mainly cooking related (trying to catch a falling knife, grabbing hot dishes etc)

But DH once punched a cactus.

DH tried to stand on DSs skateboard and fell off. Laughed and repeated the stupidity. Fractured his bloody skull!

Shamelessly bookmarking for later. Some of these have had me in stitches already