I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope, but I actually resemble a middle aged taekwando instructor

[DollyMixtureLulus]

@NovemberR

I'm embarrassed to admit to this, because actually most of your fashion faux pas sound edgy, expensive and cool - and mine is far from that. I blame the strain of this year and the lack of places to shop, but just before Christmas I bought some red woolly leggings with white spots (like falling snow) on them. In Lidl. (Essential shops only open). I vaguely thought I had a red sweater at home. They would be cosy, comfy, Christmassy cheery.

And I would look like the advert model eating Lindor chocolate in a Swiss log cabin.

My sweater finished at the waist! And the leggings were so thin (and stretched) you could see my massive pants through them. I looked like a solidly built toddler who'd been dressed by their father. A father who'd forgotten their bottom half and just shoved a pair of tights on them.
My adult DD pissed herself and kept saying but I don't understand why you didn't know they would look shit?

She doesn't understand that in my head I'm genuinely surprised by my mirror...

I love this! Proper giggling 😂

In my 20s, in the 80s, I was out in a bar waiting for friends, very casual in tight jeans, black ankle boots and my favourite t-shirt - black with an off-white pattern of the seaside and the words "Seaside Memories" emblazoned across my perky braless boobs.

A random bloke eyed me up and down and said, "Seaside Mammaries eh?"

I never wore it out again

Dear MLMsuperfan, I get really pissed off about ageism too, and have mentioned it on several threads that refer to boomers, old ladies, etc.

But this is a thread where we're sharing a common experience, whatever our age, about expectations versus reality.
We're all laughing with each other, not at each other.

And it is hilarious, I’m weeping. 😂
And it is clever, the phrases are eloquent and descriptive.

I'll add my latest: I bought a lovely oatmeal linen dress, to be cool in the summer. Very plain, unfussy lines, midi length, with 3/4 sleeves.
Far from the cool, slightly edgy, serene woman going about her day, I looked like the inexplicably fat inmate of a workhouse. 😕

I've no idea how I ended up on such an old thread… 🤷‍♀️

i am crying with laughter at these descriptions

I just bought a lovely maternity wrap dress - it's super comfortable because it ties inside AND out, so it feels like a dressing gown that I can wear to work and expand into.

It also has a big ruffle all the way around the bottom, from the wrap ties down and round, so I look just like a fat flamenco dancer - OR, if I'm waddling moving particularly fast, an outraged cuttlefish (deep ruffle, like a mantle).

Still wear it, though.

I once wore a grey dress that had got caught in my bum cheeks....from chelsea girl.....goodness that brings back memories!

My nickname became VACUUM ARSE lol

I was gutted

I know this is an old old thread but it just appeared on my "I;m On"

I read it again and the I looked like Emperor Palpatine / Scottish Widows one had me wheezing .

Just go into mom’s net classics and you’ll find most of the threads on there going way back. Just have to read the titles to find what your looking for

This is all self deprecating and making fun of no one but themselves. I don’t know where in any of the posts is anyone making fun of anyone but themselves. It’s all in fun and no one is the brunt of the joke.

Thomas More! Doesn't seem very happy.

My DD bought a white hoodie and matching white tracksuit bottoms. We no longer use her actual name. She is 'Tony', or 'Brian' if the hood goes up.

I once owned a short mustard yellow jacket back when that colour was apparently a good idea. DH took one look at me and christened me Ms PacMan. The jacket did not recover from this. It was quietly escorted to the charity shop in the very next donation bag, where I assume it now haunts someone else.

Actually and genuinely laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my cheeks 😂 Read it out to DH and could barely get through the managing Arsenal bit before the Arsene Wenger line
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I was trying on coats today and swerved that look because I know exactly what you mean
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My nephew got a training job with Toni and Guy and needed a model to practise on.....up steps me, 3 months post partum and says crack on. I go from hair down to my middle back to short, graduated bob but insist (against his advice) on having a fringe cut in.

I visit my parents shortly after and my dad says, Hello Victoria Wood, have you come for a visit with my daughter, where is she then?

Luckily I piddled myself laughing and finally realised who was looking back at me in the mirror!!

Old thread but of course classic, so here goes, 18 yr old me, 1984, I was utterly clueless how to dress, nit much better these days either! bought a lovely, blouse and skirt in pale lemon, apparently I resembled a banana.