I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope, but I actually resemble a middle aged taekwando instructor

[DollyMixtureLulus]

I have a white cardigan with a hood. I put it up once in an Orthodox Church when I needed to cover my hair. My friend couldn’t stop laughing - ‘you look like a sperm’. It comes in every trip with us now so we can giggle.

This thread has made me laugh for the first time in ages!
Here are mine:

After reading here how amazing a phase 8 dress looks on a mum tum I spent some birthday vouchers on a lovely black comfy but chic, very slightly glittery, can wear any wear dress - looked like I'd dressed up as a bin bag witch from the 80's

A very fashionable tailored jacket with black and white stripes for a night out with friends, greeted with 'hello beetle juice' it languished in my wardrobe for a while but was eventually donated, presumably to the local am dram society.

And finally I am a member of a local choir, when I joined I was given a sweatshirt for performances with our logo on, it was burgundy with a round neck and we were to wear black trousers and a white shirt or collared blouse underneath.... we looked like the oldest school choir alive

I once wore a grey jumpsuit in an effort to do 80s utility chic. When I walked into the pub my friends cracked up and one said ‘best call the freak, it looks like someone’s escaped from cell block h’. 😂

Quite a few years ago my fella and I took a trip to london. I wore my favourite black velvet hat. Unfortunately my beautiful hat met an untimely demise. It was cold and as it was his fault, we went to Camden market for a new titfer. A stall had some nice ones but no mirror, so I had to rely on his judgement. He picked one, I tried it on he said it looked cool, job done. I started to get the odd double take, not sure if I looked great or a complete arse, so I ventured into a shop and found a mirror.
JAMIROQUAI!

About 15 or so years ago capes were really in fashion. I hankered after a navy blue one in Jigsaw and on payday I treated myself to it. I wore it out to meet a friend and when I approached him he exclaimed loudly in his best Dick Van Dyke mockney ‘cor blimey, it’s Mary Poppins’.

Another time I had my dark hair highlighted and layered and every time he saw me he did that hands on hips glam rock dance and another friend pissed herself and said I looked like an Alsatian.

But I also got a laugh at his expense as once we were walking along and he was dressed in big boots, baggy jeans, a checked shirt done up to the collar and a beanie hat pulled low and had grown a goatee. He was going for ‘hip hop Hartman’ then a car drove past and someone shouted out the window ‘fuck me, it’s that twat from east 17’.

I looked like Alf Stewart with long hair
🤣🤣🤣

I havent stopped laughing through the whole lot of these pages. Brilliant.

MrsKoala
They didn't wear grey jumpsuits in Prisoner Cell Block H.
Not even close to that.

@NovemberR

I'm embarrassed to admit to this, because actually most of your fashion faux pas sound edgy, expensive and cool - and mine is far from that. I blame the strain of this year and the lack of places to shop, but just before Christmas I bought some red woolly leggings with white spots (like falling snow) on them. In Lidl. (Essential shops only open). I vaguely thought I had a red sweater at home. They would be cosy, comfy, Christmassy cheery.

And I would look like the advert model eating Lindor chocolate in a Swiss log cabin.

My sweater finished at the waist! And the leggings were so thin (and stretched) you could see my massive pants through them. I looked like a solidly built toddler who'd been dressed by their father. A father who'd forgotten their bottom half and just shoved a pair of tights on them.
My adult DD pissed herself and kept saying but I don't understand why you didn't know they would look shit?

She doesn't understand that in my head I'm genuinely surprised by my mirror...

Crying here

@SydneyCarton (if you can remember from six days ago) you weren't in the East Midlands with a vicar who also rang bells, were you? My dad was organist to a choir with that outfit

@merryhouse No, South East and we only had one bell, anyone could ring it . For a former headmaster and father himself, our vicar was spectacularly shit at engaging with young people

Last Christmas I thought I'd look festive in a skater dress and velvet leggings, my grandson thought I was dressed as an elf.

@IHaveBrilloHair I know, we all used to love that programme, singing along with the theme tune together. But I suppose they were saying I looked like an escaped prisoner of some sort and that was the only prison they could think of. I thought I looked more like Wilma from Buck Rogers. Apparently not. 😂

@Cooltalkin Miss Havisham saying fuck this and going on a bender has made me belly laugh for the first time in some time

It can happen to anyone, even RTÉ newsreaders.

@Gliblet

Oh I have loved this thread, thank you all 🤣

When I had DS, DH kept reading about push presents and decided to get me a chocolate brown faux fur waist length gilet. I was a size 18-20 even without the effect breastfeeding was having on my boobs, so this thing was skintight. I looked like someone had shaved the legs and face of a small fat bear to try to sneak it into a dog grooming show 🐩

Stop it. I actually squeaked at that.

If no one else has, I'm nominating for classics. Amidst all the weirdness on here lately, I'm reminded why I love Mumsnet.

God I love these.

Struggling with the new-mum tiredness, I decided to pep up my look so I dyed my hair red to try emulate Isla Fisher. The dye took VERY well and I looked like an exhausted Ronald McDonald (thankfully it faded fast)

oh dear, SugarBlissOrJ17

Love this thread. I got this silk head scarf thingy on Amazon to keep my hair from tangling. You are supposed to wear it in bed, the next morning it leaves your hair beautifully silky with no knots. We have been married long enough for me to wear something as unsexy (tbh I didn’t think I look that bad in it anyway)) until I sent a photo to my friend wearing it and she told me I look like an ultra Orthodox Jewish woman haha! The hat suddenly lost its appeal, and it does make me feel like a granny when I wear it now - especially in winter, combined with a long flannel nightdress)

This thread is hysterical.

There's a picture of me aged 18 on holiday when obviously white shirts with black waist coats were in, and I wore a pair with black hot pants, a black fedora and tousled wavy hair.

I remember thinking at the time what a fox I looked like. But looking at the picture now I just look like an Orthodox Jew who's lost their trousers.

an Orthodox Jew who's lost their trousers

I once bought a lovely 60s print cotton shift dress for a wedding. Indeed it would have been cool to wear and effortless. Except that I tried it on several days before the wedding to find I'd unexpectedly gained volume and could not zip it up.

Cue absolutely frantic shopping trip which ended in the purchase of a very lightweight cream waist length sweater with a sweet heart neckline and an a line midi skirt also in cream which was fitted to lower hip level and then widened to big soft swingy pleats.

On the day itself I thought I looked summery and chic and wafted about (all the signs were there). Actually when the wedding photos were developed (them were the days), every single pound of the weight I'd put on were clear to see and I actually looked like the Millennium Dome had come adrift from its moorings.

Disclaimer: guests were allowed to wear white or cream as the very tall, very slender bride was wearing a dark purple sheath dress. So I definitely was not stealing anyone's thunder, though to be fair I did look like I'd already stolen all the pies.

I actually looked like the Millennium Dome had come adrift from its moorings.

What a great thread this has been. Thank you all.

On the day itself I thought I looked summery and chic and wafted about (all the signs were there)

I'm enjoying this thread very much!

I had spent a lovely summer's day wafting around in a pair of bright pink wide leg linen trousers, imagining I looked cool and elegant. When I got home my husband took one look and said, 'Coco the clown has been on the phone. He wants his trousers back.'

Yesterday I saw a very young, very pretty woman dressed in a smart tan hoodie with matching pants and a tan quilted jacket and all I could think was :

Have you just been deployed to the Gulf?

Thanks to this thread