I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope, but I actually resemble a middle aged taekwando instructor

[DollyMixtureLulus]

I know I've posted a few wardrobe malfunctions but this is a gem
I had a very stretchy pair if black shiny leggings. I wore with high boots and a long line jacket matched with corset top, It was the 90s
Half way through the night I went to the ladies. My trousers had split from the backside to half way up the front. Now thats embarrassing enough but as the leggings were so tight I'd forgone any undercrackers. My friend said it looked like I had brought my pet out with me. God knows how long I'd been walking round the city with my lady garden out for all to see. I got a needle and cotton off the lovely cloak room lady and stitched as best as I could (bit tipsey) my friend laughed so much she dropped her handbag in the loo, that by the way she'd peed in.

Ok, news just in!
My white Jigsaw coat has just arrived!
Very relieved that it’s actually beautiful, and DP assures me I don’t look like a taekwando instructor 😀

@chocolatepowder "fucking columbo" - but you could wear it and every time you go out just turn round & say "just one more question" - Oh that really made me laugh - btw I am sure you look great in it

@tigerbear - so you look lovely - kindly leave the thread - I for one did not - Ah - great - all best

@BasiliskStare

tiger bear
Good for you x

@NovemberR

I'm embarrassed to admit to this, because actually most of your fashion faux pas sound edgy, expensive and cool - and mine is far from that. I blame the strain of this year and the lack of places to shop, but just before Christmas I bought some red woolly leggings with white spots (like falling snow) on them. In Lidl. (Essential shops only open). I vaguely thought I had a red sweater at home. They would be cosy, comfy, Christmassy cheery.

And I would look like the advert model eating Lindor chocolate in a Swiss log cabin.

My sweater finished at the waist! And the leggings were so thin (and stretched) you could see my massive pants through them. I looked like a solidly built toddler who'd been dressed by their father. A father who'd forgotten their bottom half and just shoved a pair of tights on them.
My adult DD pissed herself and kept saying but I don't understand why you didn't know they would look shit?

She doesn't understand that in my head I'm genuinely surprised by my mirror...

I've been miserable all day. Even a box of mince pies failed to cheer me up, but this has cracked me up.

Whoever coined the phrase 'Suzi Quatro's fat nan' is a genius.

@BigusBumus

Hmmm I've been looking at Lucy & Yak dungarees this week.... I'm a size 14 and 5ft5. Should I not bother? 😁

Get them. I wear them. Check the sizing guide as they don't look so good if they are a bit tight.

I wear dungarees a lot. Lucy & Yak are great.

I want some lucy and yak but bit pricey, have you seen vulva pattern by them 🤣🤣

I got mine in the sale. They are not the Vulva pattern ones. I look enough of a twat without needing any help.

The what pattern?!!
Is anyone brave enough to share what that looks like?!

Yay! This thread is the first good thing of 2021 &
Deserving of Classics

Well done OP & all posters

I have just remembered another - in the early 80's I went to an extremely fashionable nightclub. I had on ( and just give me a bye on this because I thought it was very trendy at the time ) an original victorian cotton nightdress - white 3/4 length with a tulle petticoat underneath - and then a cashmere sweater I had bought from a charity shop & cut the neck and the cuffs off an used the bits to tie bows round the neck . Also had a big shawl as I thought it might be a bit cold walking home. As I was waiting for a friend to go to the cash point a lovely couple walked past and pressed a pound coin into my hand. I am not sure I looked quite as edgy as I thought .

@Maireas, this one:

Ah. Quite graphic...

@Ddot that is hilarious! And serves your friend right! Best laugh I've had all week!

Maireas
Look really nice till you realise what it is haha. Google

Maireas
oh sorry I see u already googled 🤣

I once bought a red knitted headband that I thought looked really boho chic stylish to wear for a meal out with my family. That was 6 years ago now and my sister still calls me ‘Tupac’ as a result.

'It made my arse look like it could be used to cover Connecticut when it rains, it was just so.... vast.'

Keep them coming I'm feeling blue

"Hissing Sid who'd swallowed a dinner plate".
"Grumio".
Tears down my cheeks, brilliant descriptions! Thanks!

Bit off topic but has anyone had a hair cut that you thought would look fabulous only to look a complete Wally.

I can't tell you how much humour I've picked up from this superb thread! Really made my day whilst it's been pluming with rain outside.
I cried with laughter and had to leave the room several times!
I offer you this attempt at male sartorial elegance, from last years football World Cup draw on TV;
The biggest pair of underpants ever seen...

I have been weeping with laughter with this thread...thank you so much !! what comes to mind is my boss (elegant bean pole, effortlessly glam) giving me a beautiful Issay Miyake full length skirt, tiny pleats, body skimming, like a mermaid skin. Thought I could get away with it if I held my tummy/wine belly in...until some gent whispered (during a posh reception) “wonder when SHE’S due” in a sneery way...then I saw my profile in the loo mirror. I could wear skin tight leather trousers at the time but I never went back to that skirt !