Sharing the Shitness - HOF Advent Calendar SPOILERS

[Cheeseandcucumber]

So it arrived damaged. Never mind, I thought, it's what's inside that counts...

WAKE UP OP!!

You lot are worse than my kids standing over me telling me to open my underwhelming Lindt calendar.

I now have an unwelcome mental image of Tim Burgess with a teeny tiny beauty funnel up his arse.

That's not where I though this thread would go.

2017 Tim burgess with that awful blonde hairdo?

This is the funniest thing I've read on Mumsnet in ages. Loving your work OP.

You know Zoella’s probably reading this thread and taking notes for next year’s carefully curated calendar

I've looked at the video with spoilers and..... wow, OP, you're in for some treats!! the look they're going for is definitely what an 8 year old girl would produce if left to her own devices.

HOF boss: so, an advent calendar for grown ups, we've got a funnel and a pot of glitter. What shall we put in day 4? I'd like to put in more glitter, you know how much they love glitter, but it might be a bit samey.

HOF advertising person: um how about glitter PIGMENTS?

HOF boss: give that man a raise.

WTF are glitter pigments? Bigger glitter? Smaller glitter?

Is it a beautiful deep brown with a gentle sparkle that could be added to a dramatic smoky eye?

No, it's a shit stain.

no it's a shit stain

Snorts

It's from that amazing brand too!

You might have put the ‘glitter pigment’ on an actual nappy, Cheese.

Just to illustrate it, you know.

Ps HAHAHAHAHA at the funnel’s potential use in constructing sparrow fart amuse bouches.

Shit stain glitter??

Spoiler Alert

I am currently watching this funny video. She is unboxing the HOF advent calendar and using the products straight away to do her makeup in the order they come out in. She has used the shit mascara and is currently unwrapping the funnel.

Having now watched the video I have one question for you OP.

Do you have any children that like to play dress up or play with makeup?

at the uses of the funnel involving the anus and sparrow farts.

Once in an interview I was asked to come up with a list of uses for a kettle. I seriously hope I'm asked about a funnel one day.

I can't wait to reach the n/a days

I can't believe some of you have watched spoiler videos/looked up the contents, you're worse than my DD!

The recipient of my secret santa gift is in for a right pile of shit this year!

Thanks for the video link! I've watched as far as today but don't want any spoilers as cheese's reportage is far too hilarious to miss.

OP think yourself lucky though - the blogger seems to have injured herself three times in the first two minutes of the video just trying to wrangle out the contents and put them on her face.

Is your eyeshadow a different colour to hers on the video then?
I was thinking about treating myself to an advent calendar this year... maybe I’m glad I didn’t 🤣🤣🤣

Has anyone actually heard of Colour Couture?

(the funnel is for funneling some of your fave perfume into a handbag atomiser, Boots used to sell them. Sorry to be a spoiler. It's still more of a cracker gift than an advent calendar though!)

Just watched the video . You have some real treats coming OP!

Perhaps Day 5 is a 50 pence off voucher for a HoF perfume atomisier...

😂😂😂 am loving this.
It is somewhat making up for not getting my M&S calendar this year